Because we're selling the house

Sometimes when the kids are on break, I wake up early with that panic feeling that we overslept and they're going to be late for school. Sort of the same feeling I used to get just a few short years ago when I would wake up on my own (as in, not by a baby) in panic that my baby missed a feeding. I'm curious if there's a parenting phase where waking up on your own doesn't cause panic...

But after I jolted up this morning, I had to remind myself. The kids are on break... Yesterday we had a wonderful Thanksgiving... Today Jake wants to put in an offer on the Knoxville house... Grannie is in town and we're meeting her and mom... We have a house showing at 10:30... {pausing to listen for kids}... And the kids are already up and destroying their room... Resume panic. Because we're selling the house!!

But first, coffee.

After my cup of coffee and a not-so-quiet time with the Lord, it was go time. I got myself, the kids, and the house cleaned up. In that order. With 6 cats, I mean kids, it works best in that order. 

Most of the day was fairly successful. Fairly successful...

*sigh* 

This House

I'm not sure there is a way to keep this house clean, the children in line and be nice. I'm just sayin. I feel like a crazy woman barking out orders and trying to juggle 43.7 things at the same time. Because we're selling the house, I have to go overboard with all cleaning/toy pickup efforts. Its only been a week and a half and I'm already tired.

The New House

Jake is amazing to take care of things on that end. He keeps me in the loop even when I know it would be easier just to make executive decisions and keep moving. He stops to consider important things, where I would just make an impulsive choice. He's doing all of this while trying to build new relationships and a new church, launch a website, and prepare a sermon for like, oohhh two days from now. No big deal. *note sarcasm* 

And I know when I am focused, the kids nagging and arguing is like a drum that beats on my last nerve. But he's been so patient. Oh and he got Christmas tree today. *sigh* He's super man. I have to remind myself that's a good thing and it doesn't make me lamer. (I just made up that word.)

The Kids

One of my children, who I'm sure wishes to remain nameless, is struggling. Not constantly. But little things like where we put the Christmas tree (because we're showing the house) and how few decorations we bring out (because we're showing the house) and how we aren't hanging stockings yet (because we're showing the house)... these things are difficult for her. And while she does her best to process and move on, I can see that in her mind, all these things relate back to one thing/problem. You guessed it. We're selling the house. 

The Emotions

Just when I think I've successfully juggled all the balls... 

I cleaned the kids.

I cleaned the house.

We lived through Cracker Barrell, only made a little bit of a scene.

I got to talk to Grannie... some.

After lunch, we set up a Christmas tree.

We went over the house offer to be sure it all looks good.

I went over the budget-- because, holidays. And kids. And because we're selling the house.

I did my best to meet the emotional needs of my child/children who are struggling today.

I decorated the house for Christmas.

I/we decorated the Christmas tree.

And...

Because we're showing the house, I didn't use our crazy brightly colored ornaments-- the ones with Popsicle sticks and finger paints and names in sharpie. Instead I pulled out the ornaments from the first couple of Christmas' we were married. The pretty amber colored ball ornaments I registered for. And I pulled out the blown glass ovals I bought myself before we were married and the metal, porcelain and glass angels I used to collect. 

I was doing it because we're showing the house. And as I told Jake my plan, my voice caught in my throat. The sentimentality of those ornaments and the weight of the day sank in and I just cried.

Because we're selling the house.

~~~

Hopefully tomorrow we'll hear if our offer has been accepted or if there's a counter offer. So when I wake up I'm going to remind myself that its going to be an awesome day. Full of potential. Possibly some showings. Possibly some chaos. Possibly some emotion. And then I'm going to drink my coffee and have some not-so-quiet time and give thanks to God because He's called us into relationship with Him.

Jake, myself, the kids... we aren't doing this alone. He's walking with us through the showings, with us through the chaos, with us through the emotion. In these days between Thanksgiving and Christmas I want to reach out with each hand and touch the reminders of both: to give thanks  because Emmanuel means God with us. He called us to do this thing and He didn't mean do it alone. 

I want to surrender every moment and walk every step with the Lord. Therefore, I will not be overcome with the little things or the big ones. Because we're selling the house.

My Homemade Cleaners

I have had so many friends ask for my recipes for homemade cleaners. It feels silly to post because they're crazy easy to make and I'm certainly no authority on the matter. But its an easy way to share with my friends, so here it is.

First let me say- people have different reasons for making homemade cleaners. But mostly:

-To be healthier for their family

-To be greener for the planet

-To get things cleaner faster

-To save money

I have to admit, my main goal is the last one. Being healthier for my family and getting things cleaner faster tie for second. So if a cleaner doesn't save me money, I'm not going to do it. If two options are the same cost, I'll go with the healthier one, obviously. So if Chemical free is your first priority, you might not be a fan of my homemade choices. Just a disclaimer.

Laundry Detergent.

I used to make the Duggar liquid soap recipe because I've always preferred liquid detergent. But after about a year of that one, I felt like it wasn't quite cleaning as well as I wanted it too. I had to really pre-treat any soiled spots. And who has time for that? Do the Duggars do that? I even wondered if the recipe had a typo so I stopped diluting it by half the last time. And I still felt like it wasn't getting our very dirty clothes clean.

And if you've ever made liquid laundry detergent, most smell great but look like snot. Or egg drop soup. Gross.

I tried a couple variations I found on Pinterest of dry detergent. But have settled into this one. Its not super super natural/organic but its natural enough that it doesn't bother my 5 kids who have eczema or sensitive skin. And it smells awesome. And it cleans great. And like any homemade detergents its still crazy cheap. So. I'm a fan.

• 1 (4 lb 12 oz) Box of Borax
• 1 (3 lb 7 oz) Box of Arm and Hammer Super Washing Soda
• 1 (3lb) Container of OxyClean (I use the Kroger brand)
• 2 (14.1oz) Bars of Zote Soap (You could also do Fels Naptha or a Castile Bar. But again, I'm not going for super organic, just cheap and good-cleaning.)
• 1 Box of Arm and Hammer Baking Soda (The recipes I tried that omitted this, I didn't like as much. This really cuts the stink that my family emits into their clothing. Maybe that's just us.)
• 1 Bottle of Purex Crystals Fabric Softener (This isn't totally necessary, but it makes it smell like heaven. Just do it.)

Grate up the bar soap with a cheese grater (and then clean the grater in the sink and rinse really well. Don't put it in the dishwasher. Trust me on this one.) Mix it all up in a 5 gallon bucket. Use roughly 2 Tablespoons per load. 

(Recipe Source)

I've never taken the time to figure out the exact cost per load. But for now I can tell you that it's roughly $30 for all the ingredients and it lasts me for several months. And we do 2-3 loads of laundry a day. (I say we because my oldest two do their own.) 

Over time, with any homemade detergent, I notice that my whites aren't quite as bright. So I dunk them in bhyrdogen peroxide or lemon juice. Maybe even bleach... really just whatever whitening agent I have around. And add in a scoop of my laundry detergent too and soak it all overnight.

Some blogs I found link all these ingredients to Amazon. But I'm not doing that because I can always find these things cheaper at Kroger than on Amazon. I'll leave your deal finding to you.

Fabric Softener

I use Distilled white vinegar.

*crickets*

That's seriously it. If you want you could add essential oil. Like Melaleuca or Lavendar. But I just use straight up white vinegar. No it doesn't stink (everyone always asks that), my laundry just smells like the super clean/flowery detergent. And its crazy soft. And I don't need fabric softener sheets. Sooooo yeah. That's it. Moving on.

All purpose cleaner

Now when I say all purpose... I'm not messing around. I use this for literally. everything. But I might add some extra "helpers" depending on what I'm cleaning. In a spray bottle combine:

• 1 part water
• 1 part distilled white vinegar
• 1 part rubbing alcohol
• 1 quick squeeze of dish soap (Dawn works great but I've used Seventh Generation too)
• essential oil of your choice

Add the dish soap last or it will bubble up as you fill the other ingredients in. If you use essential oil, you'll have to give it a shake each time before use.

For the essential oil: I do Onguard during flu season. Right now I'm doing Purify. Grapefruit is also a good one and smells really clean. Technically, if you use a citrus oil, you should use a glass spray bottle and I do not. I'm a rebel like that.

I use this cleaner by it's self for:

~Kitchen Counters

~Kitchen table

~Appliances (its great on stainless appliances)

~Windows and Mirrors (the alcohol makes it evaporate quicker, so there's no streaking)

~Toilets

~Sinks

~Shower walls

~Bathroom floors

~Carpet (yes carpet)

~Fabric couches (unless its permanent marker and I have to bring out the big guns)

~Toys

And for some extra scrubbing power, I use my spray and then sprinkle down baking soda. Vinegar and Baking soda do this cool science experiment thing and foam up when combined. And it cleans really really well. And its not toxic. #winning 

So I do that for:

~Inside the toilet bowls

~My kitchen sink when it gets really gunky (use an old toothbrush to scrub around the faucet)

~Bathtubs

~Shower floors

I used to sprinkle kosher salt on a half of a citrus fruit and use that to clean bathtub rings. It works really good, but I think my spray and baking soda work just as well. And baking soda is cheaper (and faster) than fruit so I just stick with that.

**bonus tip #1: buy one of these and fill it half way with dish soap and half way with vinegar. Leave it in or near the shower and give the shower a good scrub while you're in it. It saves you from that awkward yoga move you have to do to clean the shower while you're dry and end up wet (and sweaty) anyway and have a dislocated shoulder. This is much easier.**

**bonus tip #2: grease stains come very nicely out of clothing when you lay it flat on the table and sprinkle some cornmeal over it and let it set overnight. We don't ask why it works, we're just grateful it does. (Nod your head with me.)**

**bonus tip #3**: I hate baking soda boxes because when I grab them with a wet hand (because I'm cleaning with it) it gets soggy. So I pour my baking soda in a mason jar and use a Parmesan cheese lid (yes they fit mason jars) so I can sprinkle it out easily. Since I use baking soda on so many things, this has been a lifesaver for me.

Mopping

I've got a huge stainless stockpot that I fill 1/2 way up with about 1/2 water, 1/2 vinegar and several drops of essential oil. Usually melaleuca. I warm it up on the oven a little and then use it to hand mop all my floors. I just think regular mops leave way too much behind. And I like to clean the baseboards at the same time. Think about how quickly you can wipe down your counters. I move that quickly through a big section of floor and then plunge my rag in the pot again to refresh it. My downstairs is pretty big so if I'm doing the whole thing, I dump and refill my pot once.

Stuff I still use chemicals for

There are some things that I've tried making homemade versions of but never found a recipe that cleans to my liking. 

Dish soap. I use Dawn. Or if our grocery budget is really tight and I need a deep sense of satisfaction from saving 85 cents, I'll buy the store brand of Dawn. I've also tried Seventh Generation and a couple other natural dish soaps and none of them had the same cleaning power as Dawn. And they're more expensive. So Dawn for the win.

Dish detergent. I really wanted to make this work. But everything I tried (including the Seventh Generation tabs and detergent liquid) left a film inside my dishwasher, made my dishes irreparably foggy and made me want to say bad words when I would open up a just-run dishwasher when I had a sink (and counter) full of more dishes that needed to go in.

Jake texted me on his way home from work one day asking if there was anything he could get from the store. At my wits end I said, "Dishwasher detergent." 

"What kind?" 

"Something toxic. With chemicals."

For the love.

Stain remover. I use Shout. My laundry big guns. This is another that I would just love if the homemade version really worked. But I really really really love shout for spaghetti sauce stains, grass stains, marker on the couch and juice on the carpet. Or any other way my family members can manage to stain something I paid for.

Walls. Every home with children should be well stocked with Mr Clean erasers. They aren't "natural" but the store brand ones are cheap and work just as well as the Mr Clean brand. I use them almost daily to clean crayon, pencils and markers from walls, tables and cabinets. Yes daily. Don't judge.

The last thing have not tried but plan to next: homemade pledge. I'm still comparing recipes but I have the ingredients to make the one I want. I'll come back and update this post if I like it. I'm currently using Kroger pledge and it leaves my wooden furniture foggy after a few minutes so... I'm hoping I like the homemade stuff.

~~~

I think that about wraps it up! If you have any questions about any of this or you have a cleaner recipe you absolutely love, please feel free to comment! Here's to a cheaper grocery trip, a healthier family and a cleaner home!!

The Homekeeping Notebook: What's in it!

I sort of debated sharing what's in my notebook, in my last post. I thought it would be fun to look back at someday but decided that wasn't really the point of the post. But apparently some of you really wanted to know.

So here it is. But I'm sharing on the condition that you realize this: what works for one family might not work for another. 

AND. I said it in the last post, I'll say it again. What makes all this happen is not the binder, it's the mom. I will humble myself enough to tell you that when I was a young(er) mom ;) I would make beautiful lists and charts and not understand why my life didn't fall into beautifully organized bliss. It was because I needed to get up off my rear, quit looking at my beautiful lists and charts, and get some real work done.

Say it with me: a homekeeping notebook is an extension of your brain, not an extension of your hands. It does not actually do the work for you. Creative-type people (like myself) that enjoy making these books would rather make them then go do what's in them. It's a Pinterest generation fail.

Some of these pictures have an envelope covering the page because I don't really want the whole world to know all of my business. ;)

Lastly: Children must not ever be allowed to touch the notebook. It's mommy's master plan and without it, she will not survive. The end.

Ok I'm going to try to keep this as simple as possible. My Notebook:

Minus Kate's finger this time. I took these while she was napping. But they're all super lame pics. Sorry about that.

First:

My Supplies

This is a must so I can always find a pen when I need it. And it's also my hidden place for things that disappear like scissors and good erasers. And it's a great place to hide the matches.

Pencils

The good pen in the house

Scissors

Highlighter

Sharpie

Erasers
Stick-it notes (I'm obsessed and use them for everything)

Matches

Washi tape (I use it to tape paper invitations inside my cabinets)

My Calendar

This is NOT for appointments. It's my homekeeping calendar. 

I have two calendars. This one and my Google calendar on my iPad. 

The Google calendar is all my appointments, recurring (like weekly Bible studies) or not (like doctor appointments). Jake also has a Google calendar and we each have access to the others calendar, so we can see them overlap and know at a glance what's coming up and if either of us have plans on any given day.

The paper calendar I use for my personal, homekeeping notes like, which days a school lunch is ordered and for which kid, days special bills are due by, deadlines to send out birthday party invites, library book due dates, etc. Stuff I need to see and be reminded of but that doesn't affect what appointments are on the calendar. Does that make sense?

School Pocket-Folders

I have one of these for each of my kids' schools. It holds school schedules, important papers from teachers, a class newsletter (only until the next one comes out), etc. I also keep a stick-it note with the "official" arrival and dismissal times, PE days (because tennis shoes must be worn), and the morning bus drivers' phone numbers.

Scripture

The first two tabbed pages are just for inspiration. One is scripture. And I'll probably change it out occasionally. These are verses that have always inspired me as a wife, mom, and homekeeper. And I'm working to memorize them. I want these to be the first thing I see in my notebook when I flip to my tabs.

Job Description

I covered this one up because I think it's so personal to every woman. It's very specific.

It's listed in categories:

Wife

Mother

Home Manager

Ministry

Myself

What are the bare bones things your husband needs/wants from you? We are going through the Dynamic Marriage course with our small group so I have a literal list of my husbands needs, and I've written it out here. (Another reason it's covered) :) I look at it as often as I can to be reminded how I can best serve him.

What are your primary goals as a mom? That could be as generic or personal as you want it to be. But whatever you want to look back 20 years from now and say... Write that down. Its easy for me to slip into survival mode. But I want to parent on purpose.

If keeping the house clean, organized, and functional was an actual paid 9-5 job, what would the job description be? Just because we live in our workplace doesn't give us a pass to live in a sloppy house. How would you want it to look when you got home from a long day? Make it that way for your family! And write out those goals here.

What does your ministry require of you, physically? Write it down. And do those things. Be the best 4th grade sunday school small group leader you can be!!

I highly recommend every woman read "Taking care of the 'me' in mommy". If you don't take care of yourself, you can't take care of your family. Now, I'm the queen of dry shampoo and letting myself wait too long to be recharged. So I'm not saying make yourself priority one either, it's still the bottom of my list. I'm just saying - there's a balance. Take care of yourself.

Cleaning (Daily)

Every morning, no matter what day, I try to do this cleaning routine. Try. :)

Dishes/Unload the dishwasher

2 loads of laundry: washed, dried, put away

Clean the counters and tables

Sweep

Tidy the whole house (everything in its place)

Make all the beds

Vacuum the living room

Some of these used to night routines, but I'd rather spend time with Jake than obsess over the last 3 dishes in the sink or the mystery crumbs under the table.

Cleaning (Weekly)

I'm not sure how clear these pics are so I'm writing it again.

Dust

Vacuum all carpet/rugs/stairs

Mop

Bathrooms 

Microwave and fridge (ours get nasty fast)

Windows/mirrors/TVs

Clean out the suburban

Change any dead light bulbs

I'm gonna talk about this weekly cleaning more in a minute.

Cleaning (Monthly)

Vacuum the couches

Clean the fans

Clean the walls

Ceilings and cobwebs

Vacuum the suburban

More on this in a minute.

Order of Days

Kim Brenneman in Large Family Logistics taught me to order my days. I've shifted my days just a little to fit my life better, but I do love doing things this way.

Monday: Cleaning Day. This is when I do my weekly cleaning list. And on the 1st Monday of the month I do the monthly cleaning list instead.

Tuesday: Project Day. Most of my projects consist of cleaning out closets or decluttering somewhere. Maybe someday I can actually stay organized.

Wednesday: Town Day. I schedule my lunch appointments, Bible studies and errands all for Wednesdays.

Thursday: Kitchen Day. Buying groceries and then prepping them for the week. Cutting up veggies, dividing the chips and pretzels into baggies for lunches, pre-making casseroles and soups for dinner, or making any homemade sauces, broths, etc. This doesn't always happen, but when it does, we save a lot of money. Things like single serve applesauce are way more expensive than just pouring it into little tupperwares for the week. And when dinners are planned and ready, we're less likely to drive thru, which is a fortune for us!

Friday: Office Day. Bills, budgeting, filing paperwork, catching up on emails, yada yada yada.

Projects

My list of projects to be done. Basically a to do list for Tuesdays.

To Do

Random to do's and reminders. I just chip away at this when I can.

Meal Ideas

4 Lists: Breakfast, Lunch, Snacktime, Dinner. Because sometimes I get in a rut and need ideas. I forget that one time I made Chicken Cordon Bleu and it was super easy and yummy. This is my reminder.

Meal Plan

Just for dinner. Made before I buy weekly groceries. We may switch the night of the meal, but I least I know I've got something in the house for each night. I print tons of blank sheets and fill up the sleeve. I could write it on regular paper but this is prettier and makes me feel organized. ;)

Grocery Staples and List

I printed up the staples that we need in our house at all times. And then after this section is notebook paper so I can write down my grocery list. This way I can quickly look through our family staples and not forget to write down something that we like to have on hand.

Yearly Goals

This section is under construction. I got the list from a pinterest post and I printed it with the intention of revamping it. But I might ditch it altogether. I'm still deciding. :)

Notes

I'm a visual person and sometimes I need to write out my thoughts to make decisions. Or jot something down quickly and file it in the right place later (calendar, to do list, projects). This section is just my scratch paper.

Decor

Just a sleeve that holds magazine clips, paint swatches, etc. that I don't want to lose. I love decorating our house but cleaning it is usually the bigger priority. So when I finally get to redoing a space, I want to have my ideas together.

My Clipboard

This is my paperwork "to do" list. Any cards I need to mail, school papers that need to be filled out, documents I need to read before they're filed, etc. I like to sit in my recliner with a cup of coffee and quietly work my way through the pile at naptime.

~~~


Mine is a 1 1/2 inch binder but use whatever works for you. I find that any bigger than that is a pain to lug around. Most of these pages are printed and in clear sleeves. I used a little bit of washi tape folded over the side to make tabs. The To Do, Grocery, and Notes sections are the only ones that have notebook paper as well. Any changes that need to be made to the printed pages, I write on stick-it notes and update/print on Office Day. :)

So this is what my weekdays days look like in terms of using this notebook: First thing every morning, I look over my notebook with coffee. Coffee is essential. Write that down. I make sure to look ahead a few days in my Calendar and make notes in my To Do list accordingly. Then I get the kids all out the door for school (which is a 2 hour process), do my Daily Cleaning list (usually under an hour), then my "Order of Days" tasks (breaking for lunch), and by naptime, I'm usually done and then I work on my To Do list or to do Clipboard. Then I run around getting kids picked up from school, do homework (checking my Calendar for school project deadlines), dinner (checking my Meal Plan for what's next), baths and bedtime. Now does it make sense why I can't function without my notebook??

So there you have it. If you just read this entire post, I'm very impressed. And you're either really nosy or you need some help in this area yourself. If its the latter, please feel free to ask me any questions! ;) I highly recommend making one for yourself if you don't have one already! And let me know how its working for ya. I hope this helps get you started!!

Not Just Being Busy: My Homekeeping Notebook

I'm always incredibly and genuinely shocked when my kids start school, go up a grade, have a birthday or say something increasingly intelligent for their maturity level. As if I thought they would be babies forever. "She's in 2nd grade!" "He looks so big!" "Did she just say that?" *gasp!* Like I didn't see it coming since the day they were born. But I am. I'm shocked. 5 kids in school this year. Whew.

I mean, are they cute or what?

And yes, Kate is home with me. I actually signed her up for Mothers Day Out but it was full and I was secretly happy.

*sigh* Summer is ending, school has started, and the busyness just changes to a different rhythm. And while I'm not usually as passionate about it as Jen Hatmaker, I'm welcoming this yearly change of season.

I've said this before, but my friends and I refer to back-to-school time as New Years. It really is. More than the actual New Years, its a fresh start. New school year, new teachers, new classmates (sometimes), new desk, new clothes... And for moms, a fresh start at our routine. New resolutions. 

And seriously. After all those weeks of summer, I feel like bionic woman with all but 1 kid in school.

So, it's a goal every year but I'm perfecting it: I want to make the most of my time and be ahead of the game. The Lord has blessed us with a huge house and a half a dozen beautiful and energetic tornado children. ;) Which means I've got a big job.

I'm going to keep this place clean and organized, finish projects, stay on top of the laundry and uniforms, pre-make meals for busy evenings, shop for deals on groceries, be on time every where I go and be the very best home-keeper that I can be. Because that's what I'm called to do.

People at church are always asking me, "How do you do it?" And they're probably just referring to how I got these 6 squirmy children into the building alone without a stroller. But IF they were referring to how I juggle the Spencer Clan, this is it.

This is my homekeeping notebook. It's my brain. And Kate's finger pushing it. Which wasn't really meant to be symbolic, but it sort of is actually.

I've had one of these for years, but I'm always tweaking it. My last one stunk so I'm very excited about this new one. I also tried to do a version of this on my iPad with Evernote. It was a fail.

If you are a mom with more than 2 kids, your house is clean, your husband is fed, your kids folders are signed, you get them to school on time and you juggle the madness in your head, I applaud you. I was not, however, born with a brain that has that much bandwidth.

Oh and this year, we have this.

Schedule and checklists posted on the fridge. I've tried this before too, but again, I'm perfecting it.

But listen. Just because the fonts all match and the washi tape is cute, doesn't make this whole binder/schedule system work. All the Pinterest boards and excel files on the planet don't make all this come together. A mom does.

It takes work. A lot of it actually. I don't care if you have 10 kids in 4 different schools, you homeschool, or have no school age kids but a baby and a toddler or 3: Being a wife, mom, and home keeper is hard work. If I'm not sweating at some point in my day, something's probably falling apart somewhere. It's just the truth. Moms. Are. Busy.

But. Why do I need a homekeeping notebook, charts and schedules? Why not just wing it? I'll tell you.

To stay on top of my game

To be a good steward of my time and energy (of which there is little)

To better serve my husband

To better serve my children

Because I think homekeeping is a lost art

Because God's word says that a wise woman builds her house (Prov. 14:1)

Because I want the heart of my husband to safely trust me (Prov. 31:11)

Because the more efficiently and effectively I take care of my family and home, the more ministry I'm able to be involved in (Because I also believe I'm called to my family first)

Because the years pass quickly

Because all of our busy rushing ends in nothing (Ps. 39:6)

And because I want to live on purpose and be a woman of excellence, not settle for just being busy.

Do you have a homekeeping notebook? How do you find it helps you?

**update: for those who were curious what's IN the notebook, see this post: What's in it!**

The Remedy

I'm a fourth generation homekeeper. It might even go back further than that, but I can at least testify that my mom, grandmother and great grandmother were all wives, moms, and homekeepers. I'm a little old fashioned at heart and I love that there's a new generation of women trying to go back to the way their grandmothers did things. I mean, in my family we pass down things like our recipe for Frito Casserole (except its not the same thing if you don't say it with a southern accent) or how to fry okra. But that's not what I'm talking about. Lots of women are going back to gardening, couponing, using natural remedies, and cleaning with what's in the pantry. In fact, in a world of Pinterest and Crunchy Betty, "going granola" is pretty trendy.

But rather it be old-fashioned, crunchy, granola, hippie or none of the above: as a wife, mom and homekeeper, I'm always trying to keep my family healthy. With as few chemicals and drugs as possible. And on a budget. With the occasional Frito Casserole or run through taco bell. (gasp!) Hey. Don't judge.

Ya know... in this day and age, it's not easy. 

You either do no research at all and live in ignorant bliss (which I don't feel is super wise) or every time you turn around, you find out something you're buying or consuming is killing you. Or causing eczema in small children. Where's the balance? There's almost too much information out there, and not all of it accurate. 

We just don't live in the same world our grandparents did. We live in a world where autism, cancer, childhood obesity, ADD and even allergies are all on the rise. Just to name a few things. All of my grocery stores carry foods that aren't actually food at all and even the produce is laced with toxins. And while things are labeled "natural" I still have to do my homework because even "natural" products could be harmful to my family. And you can have the internet equivalent of a public stoning just for mentioning rather or not you've chosen to vaccinate your children. No comment.

And while I want to do the very best I can by my family, I try not to obsess over it. I'm not going to let fear control me. We buy some organic food, try not to buy too many processed foods, and cook from scratch as much as I can. I make my own laundry detergent and cleaners (because its cheaper and healthier). And recently, I'm trying to replace our medicine cabinet with essential oils. I make my own lotion, but I'm sure if you look in my bathroom cabinets you'll find something with a paraben in it. (gasp again!) But you know what?  I do what I can to walk in wisdom while ultimately putting my trust in the Lord.

I haven't been using essential oils forever, really just in the last few months. But so far, I really love what I've been using. We've used them for eczema, fevers, sore throats, snotty noses, strep, diaper rash, headaches and PMS. And I'm doing some research on how they can help Micah and Abby focus when they're at church and school. Jake still prefers his excedrine migraine and cold medicine. And if something serious crops up, I'm not against picking up some antibiotics as needed. But for the most part, we're trying to take care of business-- medical business-- naturally. With essential oils, balanced with other things like organic apple cider vinegar and raw organic coconut oil.

But.

Not surprising of our culture, I'm noticing a tipping scale. People getting a little obsessive. Looking to oils or even just natural remedies for ev.er.y.thing. Its like a game. "What oil can I use for...?" And dare I even say it, using essential oils for spiritual purposes. I'm not talking about everyone that's using them. But its out there. And I feel that if I'm going to encourage others to use essential oils as a part of their medicine cabinet (because I love them!) I feel a responsibility to clarify what I'm encouraging the use for. Does that make sense?

Now, let me be clear. When I say spiritual... I don't mean psychological. I realize there are real chemical/hormonal/emotional/psychological reasons to use medical intervention via essential oils, pharmaceuticals, or whatever you choose. Depression, addiction, sensory processing disorder... these (and more) are very real diagnoses that are miserable to go through. And there are medicines and certainly oils that help with them, if not cure it altogether.

(Now, what I'm about to say does not apply to someone who is not a born-again believer. If you've not found Jesus, the following paragraphs do not apply to you. But I would encourage you to start a relationship with Jesus Christ because you'll find more fulfillment in Him than anyone/anything else you've ever tried or ever could try. I promise.)

But for the born-again, Bible believing, Spirit-filled, follower of Christ. There is not anything on this planet that should replace us going to our God and creator for our ultimate spiritual fulfillment and healing. He alone should be our all in all.

Can we use the resources He's given us to treat the illnesses of this world? Yes. Absolutely.

Should we use the brain in our heads that He's given us to make wise choices? Of course.

But what do we turn to first?

Are we using these things to give ourselves a sense of power and control over our circumstances? 

And to take it a step further, should we be using oils for spiritual enlightenment (whatever you think that might mean) or to achieve a deeper inner peace and self worth? 

Shaky ground my friends. Shaky ground. 

There is nothing that should replace the work of the Holy Spirit in my life.

I've said it before, I'll say it again. I'm not big on religion. I'm big on relationship. With the true and living God. The maker of heaven and earth. Who see's my heart and knows my thoughts. Who loved me enough to send His one and only Son do pay for my sins. By Who's stripes I'm healed.

I'm not going to get super legalistic and outline what I feel is acceptable and unacceptable concerning... any of this. But can I ask you this? Please don't just read blogs, or trust in something someone on a FB group said or recommended, or listen to someone... who's selling something. Check God's Word. Find out what trusted and Godly friends and leaders think about it. And most importantly, pray about it. Check your own heart and ask the Lord to show you anything in your life that you're putting more trust in than Him. And if it causes you to sin-- and putting anything before Him is sin-- remove it. (Mark 9:43)

Today I was talking through some of this with a close friend. A fellow mom that strives to hear the Spirit of the Lord over the noise of our toddlers. She had a great point and said it so beautifully (as she usually does) with these words. "We want an answer that we ourselves can administer, removing the need for Christ. But we veil it in nobility of doing the natural best thing for our family. He is the cure. The remedy. First. Always." She texted those words to me and I stared at them for a long time. She absolutely hit the nail on the head.*

And listen people, I'm preaching to myself over here. If I'm so consumed with essential oils, "natural remedies", healthy living, organic food, being gluten free, being sugar free, clean eating or any other way of eating... or anything else for that matter... Facebook, emails, getting to the gym, my friends, what my friends think, my job, my parenting philosophy, my blog, my hobby, my home, even my kids... I don't care how good and right it is. If we're putting it before the Lord, its time for a change. Time to repent and rearrange the priorities. 

I hope I'm able to communicate through these written words, with no tone or voice inflection being heard, the love with which I say these things. God is a God of love, mercy and grace. But He is also a jealous God with a fierce love that is serious about things that come before Him in our lives. I can't tell you what that means for you specifically. But I can tell you that we are not without measures for checking.

These are perilous times in which we live. (2 Tim. 3:1) Let's seek to do the the very best by our families, watching over the ways of our household. (Prov. 31:27) Let's run the race, not looking to the right or left. (Hebrews 12:1) Let's be of sober mind, testing everything. (I Peter 5:8, I Thes. 5:21) And hey. Lets do it together.

And should the Lord tarry, I'd love to raise up a new generation of sober minded, vigilant, God fearing wives, mothers and homekeepers who know: Christ is the Remedy.

*You can read more of my friend Sarah's beautiful words over on her blog, My Awefull Life

Let's not lose sight.

I came across this little graphic on Pinterest not too long ago. Its so simple. 

The graphic is imperfect and messy. 

The message is inspiring and beautiful. 

I love it.

I made it the lock screen on my phone, just as a constant reminder. And because, lets be honest, my phone is one of the places I get distracted the most.

These words are direct. And they redirect me.

There is much to be done. Losing sight distracts us. And when we are distracted, we don't press on towards the goal.

There's much to be done at home. This house of eight is a machine. I wish I could say it was well oiled. But its got lots of moving parts, and many affect another, for better or for worse. As a homekeeper, its my job to make sure that it stays clean and organized. Which is a full time job alone. But it's also important that I make sure the children stay on top of their chores. That I teach the little ones to do new chores. That I wash all the laundry, fold all the laundry and put all the laundry away. That I pay the bills, plan the meals, make the grocery lists, file the coupons, buy the groceries, buy the birthday gifts, make the casseroles for friends and neighbors, fill out the school paperwork, filter the internet research for the science project, write the check for the school fundraiser, sign the folders for the kids, and pack the lunches for ones who need it. Organize the medical bills, stay on top of the insurance EOBs, schedule checkups at the doctor, dentist, and eye doctor for all 8 of us once a year. Pick up the shoes, kick the toys back into the playroom, find the remote, fill the sippy cups, change the diapers (though not for long!), cook the dinner, clean the dishes, book the babysitter, and write her the check when we get home. Whew! To name a few things. ;)

Home requires physical work, and that's my job. But if I lose sight of it, I'll drop the ball somewhere. All my days are scheduled with different tasks. If I get distracted, those tasks don't get done in time and our home suffers because of it. 

There's much to be done for my family. I am the only wife Jake has. I'm his confidant. I'm his helpmate. I'm his only lover. My heart and my mind need to be available for him. As in: not being spent and irritated and pulling out my hair at the end of the day, because its the only time he see's me. He needs me to trust him. As in: not be defensive in conversation, not nag him to do things, and not question his side of the story. He needs me to be respectful to him. And he loves me back by honoring me and providing for me. By being my confident, lover, and best friend. This relationship affects... everything. So its worth a weighty investment. Of focus.

*Before I keep going, a disclaimer: Parenting is a partnership in this house. But this post is about what happens if I personally lose focus. And while I am not solely responsible for the upbringing of our children, Jake entrusts me with these things while he's physically at work all day. This is from my perspective as a mother.*

The kids need me to train them up in the way of the Lord. The older girls need me to listen to their every story... excitedly. ;) They need me to dance with them in the kitchen as we all clean up from dinner, and cry with them when they're hurt by the words of friends and enemies. They're completely aware of their need for Christ at this age, and I'm their number one mentor. Their self image will be based largely on my own. I'm still cool and fun enough to be begged to go on field trips or braid their hair or join them in devotions... I pray I'm always cool enough, but it will take careful nurturing of our relationships now. Micah and Abby need me to be their advocate at school. They need me to make sure that their many needs, physical and emotional, are met. I have to be able to recognize stimming and watch for cues that they need a sensory break. I have to battle through the delay in verbal skills. And wipe away tears that I don't understand, while fighting back my own. The littler girls (aside from their basic needs which mostly depend on me) need me to get back the toy their sibling stole, read to them, kiss their boo boo's, sing to them at night, and teach them that there are no monsters because the God sets his angels charge over us. Its my job to calm the tantrum and determine the consequence. I have to teach them that Jesus loves them first and foremost, that Daddy is their hero and mine, and that I will always be their mommy.

If I get distracted or lose sight of any of these things, they don't get done. Which isn't an option. Because the spiritual, physical and emotional needs of my family are critically important. Lord help me to to never lose sight.

There is much to be done for the Kingdom of Heaven. Christ is coming soon. He will return in glory to get His bride and I want to be ready. I want everyone around me to be ready. My husband is in full time ministry and I need to do everything I can to support that. And for me personally: my disciples are the 6 small people that live in my house. And I pray that my heart and my home are ever open to my community. Ready to serve with love and joy.

Current thieves of my focus. Pinterest is awesome. Any of my closest friends will tell you, I start several conversations with, "I saw this thing on Pinterest..." It’s extremely helpful to me in homekeeping. Recipes, cleaning tips, decorating ideas, inspiring scriptures... I've already said, I found the above graphic on Pinterest! But it literally profits me nothing if I sit and stare at it all day. Its merely a distraction. 

Facebook creates good community. I don't even know where I'd be without my adoption and Down Syndrome groups. But when I have (what I believe to be) a clever, interesting, or funny thought, posting it to Facebook shouldn't be my first reaction. 

Instagram is fun. Pictures are worth a thousand words and I am a wanna-be photog with some seriously cute kids. But I can check it every 2 or 3 days and stay caught up. And not everyone needs to see everything we do. 

I love me some good blogs. But I have to carve out a set time (and ending time) to read them, or I'll get distracted.

Even the tasks of my home can be a distraction for me. Like spending so much time deep cleaning that the kids are doing who knows what. Or vice versa. I could lay on the floor reading or playing dolls with the babies all day, but if my husband gets home and the house is a wreck, I look disgusting, and there's no dinner... yeah, no. 

So it’s got to be about balance. And focus. On the one who sets these tasks before me.

"And whatever you do, do it heartily, as to the Lord and not to men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the reward of the inheritance: for you serve the Lord Christ." Colossians 3:23, 24 

"And let us not grow weary of doing good. For in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart." Galatians 6:9

Father may I never lose sight of Your will for me. Keep my eyes open and focused on the task that lay ahead of me. Every day, every hour. As I serve my home and my family, remind me that I'm serving you.

"I press on, that I may lay hold of that for which Christ Jesus has also laid hold of me.... I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus." Philippians 3:12, 14

There is still much to be done. Let's not lose sight.

Still

Well, I might as well blog about it. Since I have the time.

I mentioned it a bit in my last post. But here it is again.

I've got mono. :(

It all started before Christmas. I was feeling pretty miserable. But honestly, I was so on guard for flu symptoms, that I didn't stop to think what else could be wrong. I had no congestion. No runny nose. Not really a sore throat. But my neck hurt. Like... swollen kinda hurt. And my lower back hurt just a little. And I was getting migraines. 30 years and I've never had a migraine. Until now. But my biggest complaint- fatigue. I was so tired. All the time. But hey, I've got six kids. And it was Christmastime. Who wouldn't be tired?

But still, there was something there.

I told myself to deal with it and I moved on.

Until finally I got to the point that I knew something must be really wrong with me. And actually, the only reason I finally saw a doctor was because if something was wrong, I just wanted to know so I could start on an antibiotic or something and be done with it. Because like Sweet Brown says, "Ain't no body got time for that!" ;)

The doctor did a flu test and a strep test. Both were negative. But after barely touching the back of my neck, my doctor have a "Oooohhh, now I know what's wrong" followed by a "You're not gonna like this". Which, ya know, is always what you want to hear from your doctor.

She said the glands in my neck were sticking out. And that she thought it was mono, though it's rare for someone my age to catch it. I told her I'd had it several times in high school. She said that made sense. And to make a long story short, it's kind of been latent in my body and could really only be brought about by extreme stress or not taking care of myself.   .....Who me???? ;)

So they drew blood to confirm that it was mono and sent me home with a steroid.

~~~

After being on the steroid for those 7 days or whatever it was, I felt great. Totally fine. And when they called with the results of the blood test, she said it was already 4 weeks in. So I thought, great! I'm practically done with it!

Wroooooong.

A few days after my last steroid pill, my back started hurting again. And though low, I've had a fever the last couple of nights.

I still have mono.

And once again the thing that bothers me more than anything else- is the exhaustion. I can't function. And in this house, the mom has to function.

And if all that wasn't fun enough, Jake has a Sr. High winter retreat for 4 days. Which means....

Watch the amazing "SOLO MOMMY! As she swirls through the house cleaning and cooking while juggling six children IN THE AIR!! And for her next act she's going to swallow fire!"

But ya know, I can't do it. I physically cannot. And even if I physically could, I have to rest or this thing is never gonna be over.

So for once in my life, I swallowed my pride. And asked for help. (via facebook) Are you proud of me??!! You should be!! Its not easy for me! Why should people come do something for me when they are busy with their own lives? But my husband gently reminded me that I'm loved and that people want to help if they can. And he was right. Boy was he right.

I've got dinner coming every night this weekend. The 2nd grade class moms have lined up meals for the rest of the week. Yesterday a friend bought me groceries. Mallory is taking the baby girls for a couple of days, Ashley and Emily have been farmed out to friends (and teachers, actually) to play and sleepover. My neighbors even took Mabry to dinner last night and are going to do some laundry for me. And I've had lots more offers for help as well. I'm so blessed, I want to cry. God's people are awesome.

And now...

I can be still.

So until this thing passes (and I'm praying that day is coming soon), I'm going to accept the help with gladness. I'm going to rest the way I need to. I'm going to let the dust bunnies collect under the kitchen table and snuggle with my babies. Maybe the Lord will reveal a thing or two to this stubborn conquer-all mommy. Like how to be still.

Be still and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth. Psalm 46:10

Father God, teach me to be still and know that You alone are the great I am. Be exalted in this home... be exalted in my heart.

I just wanna... Part 2

Its time, once again, for "I just wanna..."

As a mom and wife, there are many things I catch myself saying. Things I "wanna". Please don't mistake this as a lack of gratitude. Because I'm grateful. Really. But sometimes... I just wanna... well, it'll make sense when you read them. For Part 1, click here.

So in no particular order, I just wanna...

... pee alone.

... have a cup of coffee without anyone dropping something into it.

... wear heels. Err... have somewhere to go wearing heels.

... wear a shirt that's not smeared with one of my children's... DNA.

... take a shower.

... understand everything Abby's saying.

... know what Micah's thinking.

... clean my whole house in one day... and it stay that way.

... decorate my house like my pinterest boards.

... be a fun mom, who does the unexpected.

... be a good daughter, who calls often.

... be an involved friend, who's always there.

... be a hot wife, who.... ahem. Anyway.

... go somewhere without a stroller.

... be able to hear the radio in the Suburban.

... be done with PMS forever.

... answer my phone without screaming in the background.

... put children to bed and them stay there.

... have a hidden camera on my table at dinnertime. Even if just for the audio.

... bless my husband the way he blesses me.

... buy everything the kids want for Christmas.

... be super mom.




Is that so much to ask? :)

21 Days of Gratitude: Day 13

#1) Baby Kate and all her "isms". She's talking so much now and it just melts my heart. I'm thankful for good, healthy development!

#2) Thankful for our playroom, where Kate and Mabry can play with their baby dolls, jump on the mini-trampoline, and "cook" meals at their kitchen while I can get some house work done.

#3) Thankful for naptime, so I can take a shower!

21 Days of Gratitude: Day 12

#1) Thankful for friendships, old and new.

#2) Thankful to be able to stay at home with my babies.

#3) Thankful for my "maids": my washing machine, dryer, and dishwasher!

21 Days of Gratitude: Day 6

#1) I'm grateful for a country with the freedom to vote.

#2) I'm thankful to be a stay at home mom. Today I get to stay in comfy clothes, love on my babies, play with my kids (2 of them are home from school today for election day), and sit with a hot cup of coffee and a basket of laundry while I watch election coverage.

#3) I'm thankful for internet and satellite to be able to know what's going on in our country today!

Ants

Just for fun (well maybe fun isn't the right word), I would like to add to my last post that I have spent the last several hours-- since writing the last post, but pausing for lunch and well, life-- completely gutting my playroom in a drastic attempt to clean up a major ant infestation, per Mabry's incessant screaming, "Mom!! BUUUUGS!"

(Wow, that was a run-on sentence if I ever saw one.) :)

In related news, I've decided that ants are evil.

So the ants are gone, the kids are all either napping or playing outside, the playroom baseboards and windows have been sprayed, and I have eaten lunch myself while writing this post.

Now it is time to assume a warrior pose and launch into packing in 3... 2....