Birthday post: Emily and Kate

Why do kids grow so fast? Can't we find a cure for this? I mean really.


This month, 3 of my babies had birthdays. I posted about Micah's, but this is the official birthday post for Emily and Kate. :)

We had a little party for Kate. My last first birthday. :( As always we celebrated with some friends, some family, and a whole lot of kids. Wouldn't have it any other way.

Here are some highlights and many many pictures :)


I had the idea to have a pinkalicious party and just had to act on it. So I made pink cupcakes that looked just like the ones in the book. And we had pink treats of every sort. Pink filled oreo's, pink wafer cookies, pink iced animal crackers, pink chocolate covered strawberries, pink Jones soda's... you get the picture.

I posted pictures of her first year in the shape of a huge "1" on our chalkboard wall. Truth be told, its still up right now. I'm having a hard time bringing myself to take it down.

At first, Kate didn't like her cake! That was a first for my kids!! She tasted the icing but kept pushing the cupcake off her high chair tray! Silly girl. After a bit of persuading and "Are you sure?"'s she finally ate it. Not that I want her to indulge in sugar, but c'mon. When it's your birthday... :)

We had a pinata, which we've never done before. And I think it was a big hit. Get it? Ok, sorry, I had to.

Yes, we let Micah take a turn with the baseball bat. I'm fearless like that.

All the kids got to take two turns. That was one serious pinata.

(This is all the kids minus Kate and the Collins twins)

She loved her party and enjoyed all the kids. She was her usual happy, kissable, lovable self. She just took it all in.

Lovin' her baby

I love that button nose and confused look. :)

Kisses from her big sister

Kisses from Uncle John

I told you she's kissable.

The dress she wore for the party was the same dress that Ashley wore for her first birthday party. If you know me at all, you know how much I love sentimental things like that. It makes my heart so happy. :)

Jake's parents were in town from the Dominican Republic so it was really sweet that they got to be here. But my mom got sick at the last minute and totally took one for the team by staying home so no one caught her bug. I love you Mom, we missed you!!

That's pretty much it for Kate's party. My BABY baby is one. *sigh*

And Emily is now 7. We had a big family party celebrating 7 spring/summer birthdays (Jake, Micah, Emily, Kate, Jake's sister Hannah, her husband Nathan, and their son Graham) with Jake's parents while they were in town. And it ended up being on the day of Emily's actual birthday, so that was cool too.

We were going to do a big "friend" party for Emily but a lot of her friends have been in and out of town on vacations. The down side of a summer birthday. So I think I'm just going to take her and a few friends to see Brave and get ice cream, if I can find a time when everyone is here.

Now Jake and Ashley's birthdays are just around the corner!

If you are lactose intolerant, I need your help please. :)

I realize I could just google this. But I'd rather hear from friends who know it (and feel it) personally.

What foods bother you the most and what (if any) dairy products don't? Is there anything you take for it (meds, probiotics, etc.) that helps? Comments on my blog or on FB are welcome. (Or if you'd rather comment anonymously for any reason, go for it.)

Micah is lactose intolerant. I was told that he was likely not born lactose intolerant but that years and years of having a parasite destroyed his body's ability to process lactose. But in trying to feed him, I have several factors working against me.

Because he's not talking, he can't tell me what he's feeling. He can express hurt by signing but sometimes its hard for him to tell me where he's hurting and how. He also has a super high pain tolerance (if you didn't know, a lot of individuals with varying special needs have a high pain tolerance) so if his tummy is bothering him but he's not in severe pain, I probably wouldn't even know.

Also-- because he's fully potty trained-- I don't see what his *ahem* bowel movements look like unless its bad. But I don't know how long it takes after he's had something to have a "bad one" and he needs help cleaning up. (He knows to knock on the wall if he needs help.)

Ok, well. Thats it. Thanks for any insight or help!!

Can of worms or testimony?

It takes a while to describe my family to a stranger.

For those who feel that 6 children is a lot-- when they see me-- they want to talk about it. What is this mystery of half a dozen children?? (insert eye-roll) I always want to break out a laptop and show them pictures of my friends who have 7, 8, 9, 10+ children. "NOW do you think I have a lot of kids??"

But obviously I don't do that. And actually, in my heart, I need to be careful. I don't ever want to pass up an opportunity to share what God has done.

And the opportunities are usually plentiful because, inevitably, people aren't satisfied with "We have 5 girls and 1 boy." Then they want to know how he feels about being the only boy. "He's a great brother, the perfect man for the job," I always say. To which they give me that "oh isn't that cute" smile. Then they tell me "My, you don't look like you've had 6 kids!" Because that's what you have to say to anyone who's had more than two or three children. Then the moment of truth. I could just smile, take the credit and say "thank you". Or I could reply "Well, actually our son was adopted". Can of worms: open.

At this point, I can A) choose to explain our family from the beginning, and hope they're ready for a good long story, or B) let them figure it out after a long string of questions.

"Where did you adopt him from?" "Ukraine." "What made you decide to adopt from there?" "Weeelll...... when our third biological daughter was born with Down Syndrome...."

I get different reactions here. And I can always tell if this person knows someone with Down Syndrome at this point. If they don't, I get a "oh you poor thing" reaction. If they do, I get an excited wince sometimes followed by them grabbing my arm. :) And then I pause the story to hear about their friend/family member with DS.

So I carry on, "So then the Lord called us to adopt our son, who has Down Syndrome as well. And he was in Ukraine, so thats where we went."

Now people are usually either dumbfounded or completely marveled that we would adopt a child with Down Syndrome. I actually had one lady at Starbucks tell me, "Well, you're just gonna go straight to heaven." The sarcastic side of me really wanted to say, "You think so? Ok, good, 'cause that's why we did it." But I duct taped the mouth of my flesh, and my spirit went on to share that we stepped out in faith to do something that God called us to. And how its enriched our lives immeasurably. Which I fully believe, I just get worn out by  dumb people  ignorant people " uninformed individuals". ;)

Watch and pray, lest you enter into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak. (Mat. 26:41)

At this point most people have forgotten the number 6 because they are are imagining a family with 2 children with Down Syndrome. So its really a finally blow when I say, "And then I had two more babies."

To which I quickly have to follow that up with, "But we wouldn't trade it for the world!"

If I'm feeling really brave (and have some time on my hands) I'll add in the story of Oleg.

Anyway, I experienced this twice today. Once to a super sweet Christian mom who thought our story was awesome. The other was to a mom who had this baffled look on her face and kept coming back to me with more questions.

Our family's story is a testimony, there's no two ways about it. And it takes a while to share it. Each and every time I have to crucify my flesh and decide: am I going to hurry through this story, or am I going to stop and seize an opportunity to share what God has done in our lives? I wish I could say its an easy decision every time. But sometimes, especially if all of the kids are with me, I just want to hurry on my way.

God, forgive me! Let me never be in too much of a hurry to share Your goodness and mercy. Or to be discerning to how this is touching someone else's life. Give me the boldness to take it a step further by offering Jesus. Help me to slow down, put off my old man, and walk in boldness and passion for You. Always. Thank You Father for all that you've done and for these half a dozen miracles walking around my house. I love you.

**This post was from several months ago but I never posted it. Just founded it and thought I'd share**

Curious Mr. Micah

I've determined today that Micah is the perfect mix between Curious George and Mr. Magoo.

He's like Curious George in that he's a happy little thing, who perfectly understands what's being said to him but only responds with a series of noises, animated pointing, and jumping. He's extremely curious about how things work; he loves to take things apart and try to put them back together (usually unsuccessfully). He also loves to take things and situations into his own hands without consulting an adult first, because in his own mind, he's completely capable.

He's like Mr. Magoo in that he goes through life barely escaping fatal tragedies. If you've ever seen the old Mr. Magoo episodes, he's a little old man who apparently can't see anything because he's completely unaware of the peril around him. He'll cross streets missing huge speeding buses by inches. Anvils will randomly fall from the sky and he'll just barely miss it and have no clue. Mr. Magoo is before my time but I still remember the reruns. And from what I remember, he was somewhat of a sleepwalker. Or was he an insomniac? Either way, he was in constant motion, even at night.

The Curious Mr. Micah. That about sums him up, doesn't it?

AGAIN Mabry???

There is an incredibly cute little voice that calls out to me... several times a day... from different places around the house where she has wedged her little body... the same, very cute, but pitiful plea:

"MOMMY!"

Pause.

"I sssssSTUCK!!"

Chores and Behavior

For this post to make sense you will probably want to read Operation Spencer Summer 2012 and Daily Summer Schedule first, if you haven't already.

Some friends were asking about the chore and behavior cards I'm using this summer and its hard to explain it without just showing you so... here it is. We just started this like a little over a week ago, but so far its going awesome. I looked up all kinds of chore charts on Pinterest and just couldn't find any that I liked. So I made my own creation and I really like it; I'm really happy with this set up. I can usually tell with in a day or two if something isn't going to work. And we'll definitely be doing this all summer.

This is my humble kitchen wall:

The chalkboard lists today's date, our verse of the day (after doing our morning devo from Jesus Calling for Kids), our daily craft or lesson, and what's for dinner. The dinner part is more for my reference.

At the bottom is our schedule. The same one that I posted before, in posterboard form. (A friend of mine was wanting a copy of this after the last post, so I just emailed her my excel file. I'm happy to share it if anyone wants it!) We move the clothespin to what time of day it is. I'm actually working on a picture system for Micah, Abby and Mabry, because clearly, they can't read this. Its more for me and the big girls to know what's next for who. Hopefully the picture system will be done soon and I'll try to post pictures of it when it's done.

Also on the wall, Ashley and Emily each have their own clothesline. This is where I hang their chore cards.

They have some pins for chore cards and one (to the left) for holding a punchcard and tickets (I'll explain those in a minute). The girls have morning chores and evening chores. And whatever needs to be done, I'll pin up here. They can have up to four chores each time, but usually just one or two. I base it on how time consuming that chore will be. The chore cards I've made are:

~Dust the living room

~Vacuum the stairs

~Clean the downstairs bathroom

~Clean the upstairs bathroom

~Wash the towels

~Wash the kitchen table

~Spot mop the kitchen and hallway

~Clean the living room

~Clean the bonus room

~Clean the pink room

~Clean the purple room

~Clean your room

~Clean the playroom

~Clean up the backyard

~Put away laundry

~Unload the dishwasher

~Sweep the kitchen and hallway

(The last two or three they get at least once a day. They rotate getting the sweeping card at every chore time. Also, helping with their siblings doesn't count as chore work.)

Ok so. The back of these cards all say "Done!" and once they have finished that chore, they take it off, flip it over, clip it back and leave it there. Once I see all their chores are done, I go gather up their cards, take the cards through the house and check the work. One of my favorite mommy books says "Inspect what you expect" and its grown to be a new motto for me. If one of their chores isn't complete or wasn't done correctly, she'll have to go back and do it again. Once they're all done correctly, she'll get a punch in her punchcard for each chore completed.

I also want to add that they've been taught how to do each of these chores thoroughly. They know what's expected. (I saw an idea that I love and want to do-- making a list of steps for a chore, laminate it, and then post it somewhere in that room. So if a card says "Clean the bathroom" make a checklist and hang it behind the bathroom door. That's next on my list after the little kids's picture chore chart and schedule.)

Anyway, then once they have a full punchcard, they turn it in for $3. They know that this is subject to change. Right now it seems about fair. I think they're going to average one card a week. Maybe faster. But for all the work they're putting in, I think its about right for now.

So then that $3 gets taken over to their money cans:

They put .30 cents in their tithe can because they know that the word "tithe" actually means tenth. And we do that first because Jesus always gets our first fruits. How much they put into savings is up to them, but they know that they aren't allowed to touch those cans until they reach $50. Anything left goes into spending. I have to say I'm surprised that they usually put most of it in savings. I don't know what they're saving for but I know they want it pretty bad. ;)

So that's how we're doing chores around here!

As for behavior...

I've made some "tickets". A whole big stack of them. Whenever I see good behavior or random acts of kindness, they'll get a ticket. Right now we've got:

~Stay up and extra 30 minutes

~Hair straightening or curling

~Manicure or pedicure (from me, we're not going to the salon or anything!)

~Bake cookies with mom

~Extra snacktime

~Bubble bath in mom's tub

~Treat from the ice cream truck

~Toy from the dollar bins (this can be Target or the real dollar store where everything is $1)

~Play at Grannie's house

~Movie before bed

~Bike ride to the park with dad

~Sleep in the bonus room

~Free punch on chore card

~Sonic slush

The restrictions: These may be redeemed at anytime but Mom reserves the right to say "not right now". And just because your sister has a card, doesn't mean you get to utilize it too. (ie. If Ashley is using the "Movie before bed" card, Emily doesn't get to watch it too.) But if they want to save a certain card until their sister draws one too, and use them at the same time, that's okay.

Lastly, if they are behaving badly, these tickets can be taken away. When they are given, they draw from the stack without looking. When they are taken away, I get to choose which one is taken. If they are misbehaving, they get one warning and after that, I take a ticket.

Here are all of my cards (front and back), tickets and punchcards close up:

One of my favorite parts of all of this is that it was ALL FREE! I have a ton of scrapbook paper and made all of this with that paper, scissors, a glue stick and a sharpie. And it honestly didn't take that long. 

The chore cards each have 4 squares: a front, a back, a front label and a back label. If I could laminate them I would. I want these to last for a good long time.

The punchcards are just one little square of the thicker, color-on-both-sides paper.

The tickts are just one rectangle of thin scrapbook paper and the back is just white with sharpie ink bleeding through. ;) Not super cute, but whatever. And I know over time, these will become not-so-exciting-and-cool anymore and I'll be making new ones.

The clothesline is just some embroidery floss I had a bunch of, but you could use anything. And its tied to pushpins.

The money cans are literally just soup cans covered with paper using a glue stick. :)

One last thing-- and I just added this over the weekend. I bought some of those Scholastic Summer workbooks. (Click here and here.) Each day they do the front and back of one worksheet that has vocab, grammar, writing, reading, math and more. We're doing them at "table time" after lunch. Its not much but we're trying to further prevent summer mind-mush. I also bought some fun flashcards for the little ones with numbers, letters, colors, shapes, etc. I have some home-made ones but they seem to like the store bought ones so much more. They're prettier. :)

I think that's it! I know this totally would not work for every family-- and clearly this is just for 1/3 of my kids-- but its a helpful system for me and I hope it helps someone else!

Birthday Boy

My baby boy has a birthday this week. He's turning seven. What in the world? How did that happen? We had court on his fourth birthday. Which means next year we will have had him for half of his life. Of course on the other hand, I don't remember life before Micah.

7 years old. And he's starting 1st grade in the fall. I'm not ready for this. I want more baby years. I want his baby years.

This is the only baby picture I have. The next one after this, he's standing. And they didn't give me that picture, I had to take a picture of that picture from their orphanage album. I still don't know how much he weighed at birth, if he was premature, or if there were any complications. Someone thought he was at the hospital for 4 months, but for all we know, that was lost in translation. It could have been four weeks or even four days. We have no idea. I don't know when he started sitting up. I don't know when he started walking. I do know he was in and out of the hospital for respiratory illnesses but the doctor at Vanderbilt said that it was more likely because he was aspirating. Orphanages there are known for cutting huge holes in the bottle nipples so the babies will eat faster. No wonder he inhales his food. We also know that once he was in a toddler bed, they made him sleep on his back with his hands behind his head every night. Crowd control. Poor baby.

I want his baby years. I want to reach through time and undo all of that.

I laid in bed the other night wondering why God didn't have us go get Micah right away. Why let him stay in that orphanage, hidden, for four years? What would he be like if he had the love of a Mommy to nurture him from birth? What if he'd had a strong, warm Daddy to squeeze him tight? What if he had early intervention to help him make sounds in his early months? What if he'd had more than just his basic needs met?

Maybe his teeth would never have rotted, which means he never would have trained his brain that it hurts to chew, which means he wouldn't try to swallow his food whole, which means he wouldn't have the eating problems he has today. (Which seem to be getting worse, by the way.)

Maybe he wouldn't have this strong urge to escape and wander. (Which is also just as bad.)

Maybe he's be talking. *sigh*

Maybe, maybe, maybe....

But when Micah was born on the other side of the world, I was 37 weeks pregnant with Emily. What a strange thought. If you'd told me then what my life would look like now, I wouldn't have believed you. I wasn't ready then.

But why did Micah have to wait in an orphanage just because I wasn't ready? Or Jake wasn't ready?

Why, why, why...

But, but, but...

If only, if only, if only...

These thoughts have crossed my mind several times in the last three years. But I have to stop myself. Because in my heart of hearts I know... that I don't have to know. I could drive myself crazy with the maybe's, the why's, the but's and the if only's in all kinds of areas of life. At the end of the day I have to put it all down and trust. He knows. And that's enough.

For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. (Jer. 29:11)


...being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ (Phil. 1:6)


But now, thus says the LORD, who created you, O Jacob, And He who formed you, O Israel: “Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by your name; You are Mine. (Isa. 43:1)

Happy Birthday Pavel Micah. You are getting so big! You are a sweet boy with a funny sense of humor. Full of busy energy and always wanting to work, help and play.

You are loved so much more than you'll ever know. I'm so glad I get to be your Mommy.