The MANY sides...

I've thought about changing the name of my blog. I've never really been super crazy about it. It feels really self-centered.... or something. Like its all about me. And its not. But the point was this- I wanted a place where I can write the things that are in my heart, on my mind, or happening with my family. I could journal them, but this way family and friends can keep up with our family as well. And "the many sides" seemed to fit well since, as most mothers do, I wear so many hats.

Well, recently I've really been feeling every. one. of those sides. I'm a wife and I'm a mom. I'm an adoption advocate, adoptive parent, chauffeur, chef, crafter, cousin, granddaughter, daughter, daughter-in-law, sister, sister-in-law, friend, home economist, maid, and member of the DS community. And by the grace of God I am, above all, a child of God.

I think I'll keep the name.

The following should probably all be separate posts. But its all in my head at one time on any given day, so that's how I'm writing it.

Ashley and Emily are getting older and more mature every day. At their last doctors check-up, we talked about Ashley and uh... "girl stuff" being just a few years away. Things to watch for, how to handle it. Oh I'm not ready for that phase yet! Can we all just take a deep breath and slow this ride down?!

I've been talking with friends about our hopes and goals in parenting our precious children through the next several years. I don't want to miss even one of the very many teachable moments, training my girls to be ladies. Women of God. These years are so crucial. I want my kids to know they can talk to me about anything. I want to help them grow spiritually. I'm fully confident that I'm raising children in the end times and they need to be firm in their faith, able to rightly divide truth from lies. Sound biblical doctrine from the twisted things the world will throw at them. And I want to rally with other parents who feel the same way, to raise these warriors together. This is not for the faint of heart!

Meanwhile... recently I find that I could spend hours scouring my special needs and Down Syndrome boards online. Trying to figure out if things Micah and Abby are going through are common. 

Does anyone else's kids have these screaming/grunting fits? Does anyone else's kids try to escape? Is it "normal" for kids with Down Syndrome to have this difficult of a time potty training?

Everyone talks about how kids with DS are just the sweetest angels who are "otherworldly" and kind to everyone they meet. And don't get me wrong, Micah has a capacity to forgive that blows my mind. And Abby holds no prejudice, she can tell within seconds if someone is a genuinely kind person and will greet people with hugs that come from straight from her heart! But they also get angry, yell, don't want to share, push, hit, and are probably the most stubborn people in this house! (And if you know me, that's saying a lot.) :) Besides some physical and speech delays, they really are no different than anyone else.

But I constantly wonder- should I be disciplining them any differently? Should I be more sensitive? Do they get enough therapy for their needs? Am I doing something wrong?? Could I be doing something more??? *sigh* My mind could be full-time busy just navigating this road of parenting children with Downs.

Then there's the adoption stuff. MAN is my heart burdened in this area. If I had time, I would dive head first into this ministry. I've started a little group for the families at our church. I don't have a lot of time, or resources, just a strong desire to connect people. A desire to support adopting families and to encourage those who are home.

There are millions of orphans in this world. Children with no one to love, protect, and teach them. What will become of these kids? Lets just say the statistics are not good. If Jesus is the answer, and we are his hands and feet, where does that put me? I want to do something! Do you know how many kids are in my own county right now, in the vicious cycle of the foster system? Did you know most of them have to be housed out side of the county because there aren't enough foster families here? I could actually burst into tears right now just thinking about it. *BIG sigh*

As for my babies. I decided to really go full force potty training Abby and Mabry this week. (Because, ya know, I don't have enough on my plate this summer.) But literally- Mabry potty trained in one day. She has not had one single accident (aside from a wet pull up in the morning or after naps, which I don't count). I'm so proud of her! And Kate is so close to walking. Both of them are talking more and more every day. They are such cute, squishy girls and they just melt me with their adorable little smiles and personalities. Even Ashley will say, "Mom, Kate is just so cute, I can't stand it!" I mean, they are little and they have their moments and fits, but seriously, they are sunshine to everyone in this house. I could squish, kiss, tickle and play peek-a-boo all. day. long. AAHH! I love them so much it hurts!

Aaaaand, my husband. He has so much going on and he needs to come home to a somewhat sane wife. Who loves him, supports him, and does him good and not harm. In all things. I don't ever want to be so busy with the children and the house that I'm too emotionally checked out to be aware of whats going on in his world. I'm his best friend, beloved, and helpmate. First and foremost.


Did I mention I'm leaving for the Dominican Republic next week? Ashley, Emily and I are accompanying Jake and all the youth kids and leaders on the summer missions trip. Only we'll be staying with Jake's parents. (We've divvied up the 4 littles to some precious friends who are helping us out.) I'm so excited for Ashley and Emily to have a taste of another country, less fortunate than this lavish life we lead. But its been difficult to prepare them because, on one hand, this is Grandma and Grandpa's house. On the other hand, its the mission field. Its it's own unique thing, I guess.

Anyway, my mind is swimming trying to make packing lists and instructions for all four. Micah is his own world of instructions. ABBY is her own world of instructions. Then there's the babies with all of their gear.... Bottles, sippy cups, diapers (just for Kate, whoo hoo!), toys, doses for Tylenol, emergency contacts, medical releases. Then there's the packing for us... passports, copies of passports, books for the flight.... gonna have to weigh the bags to keep them under whatever the weight limit is... I'm nervous about customs with a 7 and 8 year old, just remembering how miserable it was going to Ukraine. And that was just me and Jake. But at least we'll be with a bunch of youth leaders and like 40 high schoolers. That should be fun. ;)

Back to my point. Or was there one? Oh right, the many sides.

Anyway, on top of all of this, the laundry and dishes in this house require so much care, I feel like I should mention them as a part of our family. Its like some crazy monster... if I threaten to break off a limb or two, he grows back 4 more. Where does it come from?! And Praise God for homemade laundry detergent, I'm loving that stuff. But ya know, every time I load the washing machine or dish washer, I try to remind myself that I could be hand washing all of this. Suddenly I don't mind so much. :)

~~~


I hope this whole post doesn't sound like complaining. I'm just... chronicling all of it. :) These are the many sides of me. Each a completely precious and sacred area of my life. I would never trade any of it away. I just have to find the balance in it all. And daily lay it before Jesus. These kids are his kids. Down Syndrome is no mystery to Him. Orphan care is closer to His heart than it is to mine. And I am doing what he created me to do. When you boil it all down, I'm Amy. Wife, mom, sinner saved by grace.

You shall increase my greatness, and comfort me on every side. (Ps. 71:21)
My flesh and my heart fail;But God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. (Ps.73:26)

Can of worms or testimony?

It takes a while to describe my family to a stranger.

For those who feel that 6 children is a lot-- when they see me-- they want to talk about it. What is this mystery of half a dozen children?? (insert eye-roll) I always want to break out a laptop and show them pictures of my friends who have 7, 8, 9, 10+ children. "NOW do you think I have a lot of kids??"

But obviously I don't do that. And actually, in my heart, I need to be careful. I don't ever want to pass up an opportunity to share what God has done.

And the opportunities are usually plentiful because, inevitably, people aren't satisfied with "We have 5 girls and 1 boy." Then they want to know how he feels about being the only boy. "He's a great brother, the perfect man for the job," I always say. To which they give me that "oh isn't that cute" smile. Then they tell me "My, you don't look like you've had 6 kids!" Because that's what you have to say to anyone who's had more than two or three children. Then the moment of truth. I could just smile, take the credit and say "thank you". Or I could reply "Well, actually our son was adopted". Can of worms: open.

At this point, I can A) choose to explain our family from the beginning, and hope they're ready for a good long story, or B) let them figure it out after a long string of questions.

"Where did you adopt him from?" "Ukraine." "What made you decide to adopt from there?" "Weeelll...... when our third biological daughter was born with Down Syndrome...."

I get different reactions here. And I can always tell if this person knows someone with Down Syndrome at this point. If they don't, I get a "oh you poor thing" reaction. If they do, I get an excited wince sometimes followed by them grabbing my arm. :) And then I pause the story to hear about their friend/family member with DS.

So I carry on, "So then the Lord called us to adopt our son, who has Down Syndrome as well. And he was in Ukraine, so thats where we went."

Now people are usually either dumbfounded or completely marveled that we would adopt a child with Down Syndrome. I actually had one lady at Starbucks tell me, "Well, you're just gonna go straight to heaven." The sarcastic side of me really wanted to say, "You think so? Ok, good, 'cause that's why we did it." But I duct taped the mouth of my flesh, and my spirit went on to share that we stepped out in faith to do something that God called us to. And how its enriched our lives immeasurably. Which I fully believe, I just get worn out by  dumb people  ignorant people " uninformed individuals". ;)

Watch and pray, lest you enter into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak. (Mat. 26:41)

At this point most people have forgotten the number 6 because they are are imagining a family with 2 children with Down Syndrome. So its really a finally blow when I say, "And then I had two more babies."

To which I quickly have to follow that up with, "But we wouldn't trade it for the world!"

If I'm feeling really brave (and have some time on my hands) I'll add in the story of Oleg.

Anyway, I experienced this twice today. Once to a super sweet Christian mom who thought our story was awesome. The other was to a mom who had this baffled look on her face and kept coming back to me with more questions.

Our family's story is a testimony, there's no two ways about it. And it takes a while to share it. Each and every time I have to crucify my flesh and decide: am I going to hurry through this story, or am I going to stop and seize an opportunity to share what God has done in our lives? I wish I could say its an easy decision every time. But sometimes, especially if all of the kids are with me, I just want to hurry on my way.

God, forgive me! Let me never be in too much of a hurry to share Your goodness and mercy. Or to be discerning to how this is touching someone else's life. Give me the boldness to take it a step further by offering Jesus. Help me to slow down, put off my old man, and walk in boldness and passion for You. Always. Thank You Father for all that you've done and for these half a dozen miracles walking around my house. I love you.

**This post was from several months ago but I never posted it. Just founded it and thought I'd share**

Attention local friends!

Please come on out to our church on Februarty 17th for a GREAT show AND help an adopting family, the Glassers! Josh Childs absolutely kills me. If you like comedy, come prepared to bust a gut!!

For more info click here. Hope to see you there!!

Love changes everything

I've been following this blog for a little while. The Blessing of Verity Like ourselves, they had a little one with Down Syndrome and the Lord put a call on their hearts to adopt another. Except unlike the chunky monkey we adopted... this little girl, Katie, was struggling for life by the time they got to her.

Stop and look at this picture. Look at this hand in comparison to her tiny body.

This tiny little girl is a year and half older than Ashley. Thats right, she's NINE. And in this picture, at the age of nine, she weighed 10 lbs, 9 oz. Not because of some crazy health issues. But because of severe neglect. Like so many others, she was left in an orphanage simply because she has Down Syndrome. And in her country, she's viewed as worthless.

This was her adoption profile picture

But God had bigger plans for her. A future and a hope. A family need only answer the call.

This woman, Susanna, and her husband answered that call.

August 2011. Katie meets her new Momma.

Love intervened in this precious life.

God is love. 1 John 4:8









This little girl wasn't even used to touch. Her senses couldn't handle it because she'd never had it. But before they'd even brought her home, love was breaking through.








Malnourished and dehydrated, she went home with her new Mommy and Daddy.

November 2011. Going home.

Katie's stats when she came home two months ago (at the age of 9 1/2):

Weight – 10 pounds, 9 ounces

Length – 29 inches

Head circumference – 16 3/4 inches

Waist – 12 inches

Leg, hip to heel – 12 inches

Foot – almost 4 inches

Upper thigh circumference – 5 inches

Ankle circumference – 3 inches

Arm, shoulder to fingertip – 10 inches

Upper arm circumference – 3 1/4 inches

Wrist circumference – 2 3/4 inches

When they got her to the US, she was immediately taken to a hospital for nutritional rehabilitation.







I really really encourage you to read their story on Susanna's blog. (Click here.) Start with the first post of November 2011 and read forward from there. And get some tissues.



And how is this sweet tiny angel now?

This is Katie at one month:





A few days ago marked two months. TWO months. And these are Katie's stats now:

Weight – 10 pounds, 9 ounces  14 pounds, 10 1/2 ounces 19 pounds, 6 1/2 ounces
Length – 29 inches  29 1/2 inches 30 1/2 inches
Head circumference – 16 3/4 inches  17 inches 17 1/4 inches
Waist – 12 inches  14 inches 17 inches
Leg, hip to heel – 12 inches 12 1/4 inches 13 3/4 inches
Foot –  almost 4 inches  4 inches 4 3/8 inches
Upper thigh circumference – 5 inches  7 1/2 inches 9 3/4 inches
Ankle circumference – 3 inches  4 inches 4 3/4 inches
Arm, shoulder to fingertip – 10 inches  11 1/4 inches 11 3/4 inches
Upper arm circumference – 3 1/4 inches  4 3/4 inches 5 1/2 inches
Wrist circumference – 2 3/4 inches  3 1/2 inches 4 inches

Katie now. THIS is what love can do:







From this:

To this:

From this:

To this:

There's no telling the incredible plans that God has for Katie. There's no telling what would have happened to her. There's no telling the blessing she is to her family. There's no telling what God can do with someone who will answer the call.

There's no telling the wonders that love can do when given hands and feet.

Pictures and video used with permission from www.theblessingofverity.com 

Thank you to Susanna and family, I'm honored to be able to share your story here.

Beyond burdened... breaking...

This is the last thing I should be doing right now (blogging) but my heart is so heavy, I feel like its sunken down to the pit of my stomach and is making me sick. And I have to get this out...

On the surface, my day looks like this:

I woke up this morning and nursed my baby. I got myself ready, came downstairs, got my 1st and 2nd grader dressed, fed, and hair fixed. I packed up backpacks and met 2 other moms in the driveway for our morning carpool. After my husband drove all those kids away, I came back inside and got the next 3 kids dressed and fed. Then I loaded all 4 in the car to take Micah to school, only to realize my stroller was in the suburban with Jake. And I cannot take 3 "hand holders" and a baby carrier across a parking lot and into a busy school... without my stroller. It physically cannot be done. So I called my grandfather to meet me at the school and sit with the 3 girls while I took Micah in and got him settled into his classroom.

Now I need to take the girls 30 minutes out to the church, where Jake is, so that I can get the stroller out of the suburban. So that I CAN take my stroller and children into the school to pick him up at noon.

Then I'll bring them all home, feed them lunch and lay them down while my grandfather (the superhero) sits here with them during naptime so I can run over to Abby's school and have the big IEP meeting. Then I'll come home, get the kids up, Ashley and Emily will get home from school, I'll start dinner, feed them all, do homework with the big girls, bathe the little ones and put them all to bed. Then I'll sit on the couch and wait for my husband to get home from youth group so I can hear about his day.

So.

Why, in the midst of this day, is my heart so burdened? Because right now, on the other side of the world, there's a little 11 year old girl with Down Syndrome. She does not have a family because she has Down Syndrome. And she's wasting away at a mere 10 lbs. Unless someone saves her. I know that I cannot. But who will? Most people won't even look at her profile. Most people feel helpless so they don't even look.

And the ONLY thing I can think of are these words "If Jesus is the answer, and Jesus lives in us, doesn't that mean that WE are the answer?" Over and over these words repeat in my head.

So there she sits. If she's still alive as I type this.

And I will go pick up my stroller and get my son from school. I'll go on with my day. I'll click seat belts through my kids' chubby little legs and be reminded that there is a girl who's leg is no thicker than one of my finders.

God please.... God please....

I have no more words.

What about this?

I've had friends tell me before that they are a bit turned off by the adoption community. Which is really sad to me. People have told me they feel like they're constantly being pushed. It is (dare I say it) the "in" Christian thing to do. They feel like they're being told by the adoptive community (and ARE being told in some instances) that they have to follow God's command in James 1:27 or they aren't being good Christians. And really, I'd rather not go into a debate right here, right now, on my opinions of that viewpoint. ;)

But I'd like to ask this: if you are NOT being called to adopt at this point in time... and you don't feel that you have the finances to donate to adoption ministries... (all of which by the way is none of my business) would you consider just praying? I wholeheartedly believe in the power of prayer. That by praying alone, you could help give a child a family. And I'm sure many of you already do pray for the plight of the orphan, but what if we each directed our prayers to one little one. What if you, your spouse, and your kids prayed daily and together for one specific child living in an orphanage? Do you believe that God would move on that childs' behalf?

If you'd be interested in signing up to pray for a child but aren't necessarily financially able to "sponsor" a child, I have a program for you. (You already know its Reeces Rainbow, don't you? ;))

The Reeces Rainbow prayer warrior program signs you up with one child. You are given a bookmark, a picture, and some brief info on that child. And once a week you'll get a general RR email update on different children that have specific prayer needs and/or children that have newly committed families. :) No obligation to send in a monthly check. (But of course, if you'd like to raise funds or awareness for the little one you're praying for, thats always awesome!)

***

We used to be prayer warriors for a little girl named Annie. The girls and I would pray for her almost every day. They'd sit at the bar and eat cereal while looking at her picture on the fridge. And we'd pray for Annie, that God would find a family for her and she'd grow up.... loved. A couple of weeks after we signed up to be her Prayer Warrior, we got an email that a family had committed to her! I have to humbly confess that I was a little shocked! Did I doubt that God would answer our prayers? No, not really, I was praying in faith, but I guess I didn't think we'd see the results so quickly. You can read about Annie's new BIG beautiful family here :)

Annie with her new Mommy (this was at the orphanage)

What an awesome things for my kids to see that they helped pray THIS family up to the plate! Look at this happy girl!!! We prayed for THIS woman and didn't even know her.

***

Since Micah came home, we hadn't signed up for another to pray for. But I did. Today. God might not be calling you to add a new member to your family right now. But He might be calling you to pray?

CLICK HERE to share Reece's Rainbow on Your Blog! Thank you!

I just wanna...

**Randomness warning. Don't say you weren't warned.**

Do you ever just wanna? You know, you're in the middle of your day and think, "Man, I just wanna {fill in the blank}. Thats all." (And occasionally its followed by "Is that so much to ask?")

Except that's not all. There's a whole lot of just wanna's. And as we all know, even if we HAD all of our just wanna's, we still wouldn't be happy. But for kicks, I thought I'd share the just wanna's that come through my head most often.

I just wanna...

...buy a great camera.

...live in a Pottery Barn catalog.

...have hair like Ashley's.

...own a large farmhouse and take care of foster kids.

...take a nap.

...have enough money to donate to each of my adopting friends.

...throw a killer backyard party for Jake's 30th birthday.

...go back to Maui for my 10 year anniversary.

...have ONE phone conversation without being interrupted.

...have my pre-baby body back.

...make cornbread like Grannies.

...FINISH the laundry and dishes.

...show my husband that I'm still crazy about him.

...find two shoes that match.

...be fluent in sign language. And spanish.

...read a book. From beginning to end. In THAT order. (Ok, this one is actually a quote. 10 points to the person who can guess which show.)

...be a carpenter so I can build my own bookshelves for the house.

...throw away every toy in this house. Ok not really.

...dedicate one whole room in my house to crafting.

...yeah I think that's about it. If I think of any more, I'll letcha know. ;)

Have grant will travel

I want to tell you something but your natural response will probably be to scroll down or click to another page. But will you, for me, read on to the end? Please?

Did you know that there is close to $100,000 in grant funds for the children on Reeces Rainbow? Individuals, families, private partys and donors have all contributed money to help save these precious little children that most of the world considers unworthy of a family. But the Lord says in His word that HE loves the least of these and that we should love and care for them as well. Each one of those kids deserves a family regardless of (if not BECAUSE of) their medical conditions. In stead of being loved deeper and nurtured more, they were rejected.

As I sit on my couch typing this, a 5 year old little Ukrainian ex-orphan is sucking his tongue and watching Electric Company as he subconsciously linked his arm through mine. And here we sit together. Being an adoptive family is not always easy. There are challenges. But there are also victories and what's more- there is love. And redemption. We are BLESSED and now I want to challenge YOU.

Go to this page. Look through the faces. Each of them has a grant, so don't let the funds be the reason you can't be that baby's mommy. And you've seen my family and my kids, so don't let Down Syndrome be the reason you can't be that baby's mommy. Then after you've looked over that page, I've got another challenge for you. One thats even bigger and more risky.

Pray. Ask the Lord what HE might be calling you to. Open your heart and listen to His voice to see if He's asking you to take the next step. Maybe He's not. But maybe He is.

Adopting isn't easy. There will be challenges. But there will also be victories. Love... and redemption.

Look at the page. Pray about it. I challenge you.

Balance

Its so easy for me to throw myself into something. (And based on things I've seen on blogger and facebook- its easy for others too.)

Throwing ourselves into adoption advocacy.
Throwing ourselves into parenting.
Throwing ourselves into mission work.
Throwing ourselves into healthy eating/living.
Throwing ourselves into... fill in the blank...

And I really am ALL about all of these things and more! I think Jesus is about ALL of these things things and more. But I find myself needing some balance. I want to help the cause of the orphan... but where can I go to help the cause of the widow??? I want to parent my children well, but I want to be passionately in love with my husband. I believe in mission work, but I want to minister to the mom sitting next to me at McDonalds playland. I wanna be healthy, but... I can't afford it! (lol, totally kidding!) I certainly don't want to throw myself into one area so much that I neglect another.

Anyway, I really am not preaching at anyone by ANY means, I'm really just speaking what's in my heart for MYSELF. Just sharing and hearing myself say it read it. :) Its something that's been on my heart recently.