Just for fun :)

I came across this picture from a couple of weeks ago and had to share it.

I'm not sure what this poor doll did, but I found her in the hallway... apparently in time-out.

Not sure who her "mommy" is, but whoever she is, she takes discipline very seriously.

This week's adventure

Disclaimer: a lot of this might sound like complaining but I'm really just... sharing. :)

Ok, so... my last update left us with boxes boxes everywhere. And now... its quite different! Lets see where to begin....

We thought we were closing... today actually. And we knew that it would be difficult to find moving help in the middle of the week when everyone was working, so we moved ALL of our stuff out of the house Sunday and Monday (most of our helpers were church staff guys who are off on Monday). The plan was to stay here with as little as possible, because its free :) until we closed. But now the closing has been pushed back to Monday, so we'll be in "camp mode" for a little longer.

What does "camp mode" look like? It looks like a completely empty house with the exception of: Mattresses on the floor in each room and Mabry in a pack n'play. The living room has just a small table with a tv on it, one laundry basket of toys, and 4 or 5 throw pillows and couple blankets on the wood floor. The kitchen has three booster seats sitting on the floor for the 3 little ones and two barstools at the counter where Ashley and Emily eat and do homework. (Jake and I stand to eat or wait til the girls are done.) I have one skillet, one pot, one mixing bowl and a couple of utensils for cooking, but we eat on paper plates, paper bowls, plastic cups, plastic forks, etc etc. I set aside 5 or 6 outfits and pajamas for each of us because they took the washer and dryer too.

The most difficult part is... well, life. :) Micah and Abby are still on spring break this week, and they are bored to death. One basket of toys is only so entertaining. And you can only watch so much "Super Why" and "Caillou" ya know? Its been cold and raining, so they can't play outside. And Micah and Abby both have way green snotty noses so I feel bad to take them to McDonalds playland or anything like that. Mabry's been incredibly clingy and I can only assume its because she's confused by these strange living arrangements and not having the comfort of her usual routines. So she won't let me out of her sight and wants me to hold her as much as possible. And because she's stressed, Abby thinks that must mean she should be too... so she'll watch Mabry fuss and then give this fake wimper and want me to hold her too! Micah could care less about the changes but wants to test all the new boundaries constantly. Like seeing how much wire comes out of the floor when he pulls on the cables, or pressing all the buttons on the TV (this is not new, its just closer to his eye level and more tempting now), or seeing what he can reach when he turns the laundry basket upside down and stands on it. This is all great fun. *insert sarcasm* As I type this, he's pulling the air vent cover off the floor and throwing little toys into the vent. Awesome.

The other thing is that its hard for me to sit in the living room with them while they play because even sitting on a throw pillow, my joints are not happy. Nor is my back. Nor is Avery. Especially when I'm cross-legged on a pillow on a hard floor with a baby in the belly, Mabry on one leg and Abby on the other. Which is how they prefer it 90% of the day. Oww.

So again, back to my disclaimer- this might all sound like I'm complaining, but I'm really not! Just giving you the low down of real life at soon-to-be old Spencer house. :) Wanna know what I'm thankful for? I'm thankful our house actually sold! I'm thankful that I don't have a washer and dryer or dishes, so there is no laundry or dishes to keep up with! REALLY thankful for that. :) I'm thankful that clean-up is quick when you only have one basket of toys in the whole house. I'm thankful that we aren't crammed into a tiny space (yet... keep reading), and that we still have mattresses to sleep on. I'm thankful that Ashley and Emily are back in school and aren't stuck here with us, bored. I'm thankful that this isn't going to last forever! :)

As for the next Spencer abode....

The short sale that we were waiting on... well, thats not going to work out. Jake just happened to the Lord divinely appointed Jake to drive by that house on the very day that the family was moving out. And they told him that they were taking it off the market and they're going to rent it. Hmm, that would be useful information to the people that are trying to buy your house... heck, even your real estate agent! Whatever. Thats okay. :) So while we were really disappointed, at least it was an answer one way or the other. And time to move on to the next thing.

So now we've found a foreclosure that we really like. Its 4 bedrooms and an office (that will work as a bedroom) and a huge bonus room. A big nice kitchen and a livingroom with lots of tall windows. The back yard is fenced in and its at the back of a culdesac. All awesome features. So we put in an offer yesterday and we're waiting to hear back.

The current plan is to go from here to my in-laws' place next week (which is where the cramming into a tiny space comes into play). But its free! Praise the Lord!! Again, thankful for free. :D And when they get home from Costa Rica, we'll go from there to... hmm, thats the part we have to figure out. :) But, this is all temporary. And in the end, we'll have a nice big house that we can stay in... forever!

And then comes the next adventure: unpacking. And the next adventure: a new baby. And the next adventure: Jake spending the summer at youth camps and mission trips while Amy is at home alone with 5 kids and a new baby!! The adventures never end, really. But... lets just take it one adventure at a time. :)

I hate boxes

Must...... update.... blog............ Too..... tired.... to.... type...............

Seriously its just about that bad! My fingers might all fall off so I'm just updating quickly to say a few things.

I hate boxes.

Moving stinks.

I haven't been out of my house since church Sunday morning... and its Friday.

I'm so thankful for my best friend who's willing to push her sleeves up with me no matter the hour or number of children hanging on to our legs.

I love that I can cry to my mom know matter how old I am.

Moving stinks.

My belly is getting really big.

My back hurts.

I'm ready for my kids to go back to school.

I need to take a shower.

I hate boxes.

Its going to be a really interesting couple of months until we move into our new house.

I hate boxes.

Moving stinks.

The bank still hasn't gotten back with us about the short-sale house.

I don't want to see another box or tape gun as long as I live.

I hate boxes.

We're basically going to be homeless for the month of April.

I hate boxes.

Oh. And moving stinks.

And ya know? Through it all, I can say God is good. And I'm still daily putting my faith in Him. But... I still hate boxes. ;)

Step by step guide: how NOT to pack to move

Pre- Packing week:

~Assume that your kids being home on Spring Break the week of your packing will make it easier because you won't have to pack lunches or deal with homework

~When people offer to help, smile and say thanks but never line anything up

~Ignore the weird blood pressure/blood sugar/dizziness/who-knows-what issues you've been having and pretend they'll disappear while you're packing

Night before you begin:

~Feed your husband bad mexican food leftovers for dinner causing him to be up all night with food poisoning. This way he'll be home, in bed, sleeping all day the first day. Double bonus: you can't get into your bedroom/bathroom AND you'll have to keep your children quiet while he sleeps

Day 1 (Monday):

~Be sure to call your friends who wanted to help you out today and tell them that they can't come now because your husband was puking all night

~Ignore your mother's advice to leave boxes where they are after you pack them (so you aren't doing heavy lifting) because you are hard headed and want the room clear

~Be a pushover and allow your kids to stay in the house instead of making them play outside, causing more stress on yourself, more clutter in the house, and keeping your husband from resting

~Leave your sharpie sitting out so your 4 year old finds it and "colors" her face

~Leave the room for 2 seconds with a fully packed but untaped box so your little ones can empty it completely

~Repeat several times

~Let your older kids make forts out of the empty boxes on the porch and trust them when they tell you that they cleaned up

~Don't take a nap, sleep is over-rated

~Forget to plan dinner and spend more than you want to on take-out that isn't even very good

~Spend the evening on the couch with Braxton Hicks, swollen feet and a bottle of water

Days 2-5 to be continued....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ok, so I'm learning! :) But on the brighter side, I did get both of the two kids' rooms and closets (with the exception of clothes) packed up! 19 boxes packed, check!!! I feel pretty good about that. The goal is to have everything done by this weekend. (We close the middle of next week.) I also need to make the big summer/winter clothing switch for all 5 kids. In the past thats proven to be a day long process in and of its self... and since its supposed to be super nice outside all week and all my kids have in their closets are turtlenecks and sweaters ;) I think I'll do that project tomorrow and resume packing full force Wednesday-Friday. If you've offered to help me out, I've not emailed you to set a time, and you're still serious about wanting to help, please email or call me. :) I surrender, I can't do this alone!

Lastly, we're planning to put our stuff into storage because we are... yes... still waiting to hear back on the short sale. :) So we're looking to rent something in the Spring Hill area for April and/or May. If you know of anything available, please let me know. Thanks!

Ok, time for bed. I'm exhausted!!!

Energy for the day

Somehow I woke up surprisingly refreshed despite my very minimal sleep last night. Which was incredibly miserable by the way! But I think I know why I'm feeling some energy this morning. I think its because...

~I know its going to be warm today and I'm really looking forward to it. Sleeveless shirts, open windows and flipflops. Oh how I've missed you. It energizes me. :)

~None of my kids have school today. And though they all chose to wake up at the same time anyway, they're all looking especially cute and kissable today.

~Today is Jake's day off. Which means we'll spend most of the next two days together (Sundays are really a work day for him). And everything is more fun when Jake is around.

~I've got some family in from out of town, that I haven't seen in a long time (in fact I'm pretty sure they haven't met Micah, Mabry and maybe even Abby?). So my aunt and uncle, cousin, mom, grandparents, Jake, all the kids and I are having lunch today. I miss them and I'm really looking forward to spending some time with them today.

~This next one is going to sound funny, but yesterday I cleaned out the Suburban... like all the trash out, all the clothes and toys out, vacuumed the whole thing and then washed the outside (drive thru wash). And it does a Mommy's soul a lot of good to drive around in a clean vehicle! My brain feels a little less cluttered when my Suburban is clean. :)

~Jake spoke a great message last night at our young adults group. Lots of great points about taking the Lord with us where ever we are, community and believers, and drawing closer to one another as we grow closer to Christ. Good stuff that I want to chew on this weekend. (I'm so thankful for a man of God that speaks truth with boldness.)

~This coming week is spring break for all of my kids (although Micah and Abby's spring break will last the next week as well). And even though this is the week I'm going to dive hard core into packing, I'm really hopeful that the weather will be nice and I can stick them all in the backyard while I work. And it will be nice not to worry about washing uniforms, packing lunch boxes, checking folders, helping with homework, etc, etc, etc at the end of each day. Really nice actually.

~Lastly and most importantly, God is good and gives me strength when I need it.

You know, I've talked before about what I call divine anesthesia. This unexplainable peace that I have when I should be stressed. I have that right now. You know, we have no idea whats going to happen at the end of this month. We aren't 100% sure where we're putting all of our stuff, where we're going to live, if we're going to rent something and if so for how long, nothing is certain at this point. But I was thinking last night on my way home from church... I know the Lord knows the plan. And I know He'll reveal it to me as He see's that I need to know. I'd so much rather be in His hands than my own.

And I have to say that I'm impressed with my husband too because he's a planner. Like... bigtime. But he's surprisingly at peace just walking this out a day at a time. And I love that we are on the same page, just fully putting our trust in the Lord for our family.

So we'll see what the Lord does. But today, I'm excited to spend time with my kids, my husband and my family. I'm excited to breathe in the fresh spring air. I feel positive about getting some projects done this week.

Thank you Lord for your goodness. I know in my knower that I can put my trust in You alone and You will be faithful to us.

midnight cereal

dear diary.

its 1236 am. the small child currently occupying my womb refuses to sleep. she prefers to roll around and kick almost violently. therefore i cannot sleep. so i am blogging from my phone which for some reason wont let me use punctuation or capital letters. which only irritates me further. so i am drowning my sleepless sorrows in a bowl of cinnamon toast crunch alone in my silent kitchen. maybe if she is full she will sleep. the baby not me. my cereal is gone now and so back to bed i go in hopes of... sleep.

Packing daze

I feel like I'm overdue a blog update but I'm not even sure what to say.

Right now my days feel... strange, to say the least. I feel like I should be walking around here sobbing over all of the "lasts" in this house in these days before we move. Because that sounds like me.

If you know me, you know how sentimental I am. You know how special to me are all my kids' height marks on the wall behind the bathroom door, the countless nights with friends in our kitchen playing Settlers of Catan, long summer days in the sprinkler in the backyard... But I really don't feel like crying. Are you shocked? :) I just feel like we've lived an amazing 8 years in this house and now God is peacefully and gracefully closing that chapter. And I'm okay with that.

Sure as I say this, watch me start balling all week! Haha! (And I do hope to have a post of pictures and memories of this house over the years. Maybe even a montage if I have time. :)) The one thing that is a little sad to me is the thought that Mabry (and of course Avery) won't remember this house at all. That makes me want to tear up just a little.

But for the most part, it really just feels right. I feel done here. Now thats gotta be God. :)

Aaaaand so begins the packing. Which is the "strange" part of my days. I did a ton of de-cluttering last year when we thought we would try to sell the house. And then a little more this year when it was time to show the house. So this should be a fairly easy process. But because I don't have a bunch of moves under my belt, I'm not really sure how soon to really get after the packing. (Any comments/tips are welcome!) And I don't like the thought that I might pack up something and then need it. I really do want and need to be as organized as possible. As a mom of so many little ones, organization has become key over the years. More so with each child actually. My motto is always: "be as organized as possible, but if it all falls apart anyway, be okay with that." Which will be a great motto to take into a move I think. :)

The other thing is that I can't pack too many boxes myself (unless I pack them and leave them where they are packed) lest my mom find out I lifted a heavy box and call to reprimand me. :) But in her defense, the Braxton Hicks haven't slowed down at all. In fact they're slowly but steadily picking up over the last few weeks. So I probably should be careful.

So today's goal: write out lists of boxes to pack for each room and then tape the list to the door of that room. That way when my sisters-in-law come help me in a couple days (thank you girls!) I'll feel ready. :) Yes, that satisfies my organizational needs.

As for details about the next Spencer residence:

I hesitate to share too many details just yet but in a nutshell (and I've shared a little of this already): We've fallen in love with an amazing-for-us house. LOVE. But its a short sale. Which can be a long, complicated process. We've put in an offer on that house and still haven't heard anything back (its been a week). There are also a couple of other houses that we... like... and would work... technically. :) And we really debated putting an offer on one of those because of our time crunch (moving out by the end of the month, baby coming in June... ) but really, right now, we have more of a peace about just waiting on this other one and seeing what happens. So thats what we're doing. If you'd like to pray for us, pray that we hear an answer, one way or another, soon.

Ok, the lovely little dinger on the washing machine is reminding me that my blogging time is up. Love you all, and I thank you genuinely for your prayers over our family through this time of transition.

This feels familiar

Selling our house and buying a new one is reminding me of all the not-fun parts of adoption.

~Lots of paperwork and signatures

~Most of the paperwork has its own language/lingo which needs interpretation by someone who works in that field

~Its a "hurry up and wait" process

~The waiting is miserable

~You wish God would just drop down a few thousand extra dollars

(Only for some reason, its not socially acceptable to put a paypal button on your blog and ask for donations for home-buying :))

~Because of legal stuff you're hesitant to share details with family and friends

~At any point in the game, some small detail could make the whole thing fall through

~You pretty much have to rely on the Lord rather you like it or not :)

Buuuut... they ARE both exciting life milestones, you know you'll probably forget the painful process and you have something great in the end. :)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

And to update you best I can on our current situation- we had the walk-thru on our current house this week. And the plan right now is that we are still closing by the end of the month. We put in an offer on our dream house but its a short-sale so who knows when and if we will hear anything back. Praying for God's guidance and wisdom!

Man's righteousness and crumbs on my butt

How was that for a creative title? :) Just read on, it'll make sense. Or maybe it won't, whatever.

Why I woke up this morning thinking about this, I don't know. If I had some big, unresolved sin in my life.... well, I wouldn't talk about it on my blog, lol but at least waking up with these thoughts would make a little more sense to me! :)

I don't remember what I was dreaming early this morning, but rest assured, I was dreaming. Probably something weird like birthing an alien baby. Or being chased through the forest by gorillas. Strange dreams and pregnancy go hand in hand for me. But I found myself thinking over and over the verse in Isaiah, "all our righteousnesses are like filthy rags" (Is. 64:6). And I literally woke up thinking about that verse, its meaning, what it means for me, etc, etc, etc.

And if you've ever done a study on this verse, you'll know that "filthy rags" actually refers to a womans (ahem, sorry for this) menstrual rags. Its true. I'm a chick and that still makes my stomach turn. But the implication here is intense. That's how disgusting Christ finds our righteousness.

So this gives me a couple of thoughts. Without being too graphic, could this verse be telling us that we need to rely on the blood of Christ for our salvation instead of our own righteousness (aka filthy rags, aka blood?) I'd never looked at it that way before but its something I want to ponder over some more.

AND if thats how He see's our righteousness, how does He see our sin? I mean, is there anything more disgusting than, uh, "filthy rags"? And we think to ask forgiveness for our sin, do we think to ask forgiveness for our righteousness? Because apparently we need to. The later question I'm filing away in my brain under "talk over with Pastor Jake on our next date night". I love my husband's insights. And love that I can have him all to myself to hash over my spiritual questions. :) But the verse and its implications have been (and are) in the back of my head all morning.

I'm writing this as my kids are running circles around me (boy, sure glad I kept them home because they don't feel good... note my sarcasm), bowls of soggy cereal in lukewarm milk are still all over the table, Mabry is crying on the other side of the baby gate because I won't pick her up, my husband, a family friend, and some friendly Hispanic guy are all drilling away in Micah's closet, installing the new hot water heater. And I'm keeping one eye on the front door because the three men-folk don't appreciate me child-locking it every time they come in and out to grab a tool from the truck.

So this isn't exactly the best time to be blogging about my deep spiritual thoughts. But such is the life of a mom in this season. At some point I'd like to sit down with my Bible and really dig into this verse a little more but right now, I'm taking to heart the seeds the Lord plants in my heart at 5:30am and pondering them over crying babies, Finding Nemo and Kroger brand Golden Graham crumbs stuck to my butt.

Lord reveal to me the hidden treasures in Your Word in spite of the... physical treasures ;) running around me today.

Waiting with sore throats and cold water

As we wait for the offer we put in on our dream house to be either accepted, rejected, or counter-offered... and as we prepare for the walk-thru on our current house this week... and as the organization freak inside of me comes alive with packing lists and plans for the move...

Six of the seven people in this family have come down with strep throat. Yesterday morning Abby woke up with a strange rash. I knew I'd seen it on her once before but couldn't place it exactly. Then Emily woke up and said her throat hurt. "Oh yeah," I thought. "Thats where I remember that rash. Strep throat." Awesome. To make a long story short (or more like a long day short), Emily, Micah and Abby were all on antibiotics by the afternoon and we *thought* Ashley and Mabry didn't have it.

This morning Jake, Ashley and I all woke up with killer sore throats. I can only assume its strep too. Even more awesome. (Mabry is not supposed to get it because she's so young, though she has had it before. She's not fussy, no rash, no fever and eating fine... so I'm still assuming she's still strep free.)

Then, our hot water heater went out. So Jake replaced some... coil... thing. But that didn't work. Which means we have to replace the whole thing. Boy this day just keeps getting better and better. *sigh*

I'm keeping all the kids home from school tomorrow even though technically Micah and Emily will have been on antibiotics for 24 hours. No sense in chancing anything. Although I'm not sure how much medicine Abby has actually ingested. I have to hold her whole body down and practically tie up her arms and legs and squirt it down her throat. Even then she manages to scream and squirt a little back at me. As I write this I have red dots sprinkled across my shirt. And probably my face.

And our whole hot water tank is being replaced in the morning. The day before our walk-thru. I'm too tired to figure out if that strikes me as ironic or funny or irritating or awesome or... yeah I still don't know. It is what it is, I guess. Did I mention I'm really tired? {as my eyes begin to close}

Anyway, after that's replaced Jake and I will probably take turns staying with the kids and running down to the doctor so we can start meds too. Luckily since Ashley was just at her doctor, we can call in meds for her.

And now, this is me trying to stay positive:

1.) I was able to heat water on the stove to wash a few dishes, faces and make some hot tea.

2.) Glad to have a friend who knows how to replace a hot water heater and can do it so quickly

3.) We don't pay copays for sick visits (BIG whoo hoo!)

4.) Even disgusting tasting antibiotics do work (when ingested) and seem to work quickly

5.) The new home owners will enjoy nice, hot water for years to come :)

Haha, after writing this, the old hymn "Cooooount your blessings, name them one by one. Coooooount your blessings, see what God has done!" is stuck in my head. :)

I'm gonna go veg on the couch with my husband and fall asleep to some Food Network's "Chopped: All-stars".... :)

A real estate contract and a lesson on prayer

One month from the day we listed our house, we got a contract! Whoo hoo! Thank you Lord!

The other night Jake and I went to hear this guy Tim Keller speak at Christ Presbyterian. He's an author and pastor of a huge church in New York. I've never read any of his books (because lets face it, I don't read books much) but Jake really loves them. So he came in town to speak on one chapter in his new book. A story from Mark. The story of Jairus' daughter and the woman who touched his hem. It was a great message.

He talked about how God's timing isn't always our timing (in fact, it almost never is!) and how sometimes we get upset when God doesn't do things in the order we'd like. For example: the disciples wanting Jesus to rush to the dying daughter instead of chit-chatting with this woman who had already been healed by a mere touch. But Jesus saw the bigger picture. So anyway, one line that Jake and I loved was "pray that God would answer the prayer that you would pray if you had all of the information that God has". Go back and read that again slower. :) Basically, this is the same prayer as "your will be done", but... deeper. :)

So I wanted to make this tiny commitment in my heart to pray that more. Which is difficult! I'd rather pray for the things I want! Because isn't one of the greatest downfalls of humanity that we don't trust God to do whats best for us? That maybe we won't like that plan or maybe it won't be comfortable. Or is that just me....? Anyhow, its a hard prayer to pray. And mean. Especially at a time when you can physically feel a ticking time bomb in your belly and theres no room in your house for it. So from my -now understood as limited- perspective: we've got a baby coming and if we don't move before the baby comes, we'll have to move after. Which means showing a house with 5 kids under the age of 8 (hard enough) and a newborn who wants to nurse every 2-3 hours. From where I sit, what needs to happen is a no-brainer!!! But does God see it that way? Is there some bend in the road I don't see? So instead of praying, "Lord, sell my house quickly and give us another perfect-for-us house to live in, all before June 1st, (because Lord I also need time to nest)".... I'm praying "Lord answer the prayer that I would pray if I had all of the information that You have." And trying not to elbow God and tag on "But Lord, don't you think my plan sure is a good one?" :)

Now, all that said, let me tell you what that all doesn't mean: It doesn't mean this is some new concept and I've never prayed for Gods will to be done. But in effort to move to a deeper place in my relationship with God, I'm just saying it differently. Kind of like if you said "I love you" to your husband every day but one day wanted to switch it up by saying "I adore you". And maybe that would deepen your intimacy and keep things fresh. Its kinda like that. Thats a random example but does it make sense?

I'm also not saying that you can't pray and make requests specific. I think we can and should! Psalm 5:3 says "In the morning, LORD, you hear my voice; in the morning I lay my requests before you and wait expectantly." That sounds specific to me! But right now, having just heard a new message and a fresh word from God, I'm putting a new prayer in my heart.

Also, I know myself. If I pray my heart out for something specific on this grand of scale, and its not answered the way I want it to be and in my timing, I'll be a brat and get mad. I think the Lord gave me this as a way of helping me trust Him and put it into His hands instead of saying, "do this".

Sooooo.... to deepen my faith... and to grow my intimacy with the Lord... I pray. Answer the pray I would pray if I had all of the information that You have. And God sells my house a few days later. And this is the part of this post where I'd love to say "WHEW, glad God was on the same page as me with that one!" :) But I won't. Because we still haven't closed, we still haven't found another house, and I **still** can't see what God see's. (Don't you just hate that? :)) Soo...... I'm thanking Him for the great things He has done and continuing to pray, trust, and walk this tightrope blindfolded. Like a kid learning to trust that Mom and Dad know better. (Hm, that sounds familiar around here.)

And I'd like to ask you to pray for us.... you guessed it. :) Please pray that God would answer the prayer that YOU would pray if you had all of the information that He has. ;)

Spread the word

Today is 3/2/2011. A day to raise awareness. A day to "Spread the Word" that the "R-word" is offensive. And hurtful.

Have I used this word myself in the past? Ashamedly, yes. Have I used jokes like "rides the short bus to school"? Yup. (I know, you're all shocked that I'm not perfect ;)) And now I have two sweet, precious children who are "special", "mentally slow" (which is a definition of retarded), and ride the "short bus" to school! Do I think that I've been punished because I said these things or teased others when I was a kid? NOT. AT. ALL. Because Abby and Micah are anything but punishment. They are two of the greatest joys and blessings of my entire life. But these words... these words showed my ignorance. And they are completely inappropriate. And it would be awesome if one day, they were a thing of the past... words that no one uses anymore. And maybe by the time Micah and Abby are old enough to know what they mean, we will live in a society that is informed. And aware. But getting there takes a step at a time.

Some of you have heard my story a hundred times. So today, I'd like to share another mom's story of how her special little one changed her life forever. Her name is Amy too. :) Feel free to check out her blog below and leave her some encouragement for bravely sharing her experience and feelings.

And please stop by www.r-word.org and make the pledge. For Micah and Abby. For Larkin. For any other individuals you know who would be heart broken if jokingly said "retard" and they were standing next to you. Think about it. Thanks. :)

Amy Armstrong's story:

When Larkin’s doctor sat down with two terrified parents holding their 3-week-old baby girl and delivered the line “Larkin has Trisomy 21″ there was no laughter. Instead there was a mother who held her baby girl close and felt the air leave the room. There was a father who, now changed forever, began to heave from his stomach and choke on tears. A mother who stopped the doctor from talking so that she could turn to her husband and calm him with the words “there is a lot of love right here and we are going to be fine and so is she. You, me and this little girl … lot of love here and that hasn’t changed”

A mother who handed baby girl to her husband so that he could feel her in his arms. Feel her life. Feel her breathing. Feel LIFE and know that we would navigate this hiccup.

A mother who asked the doctor to step outside and show her to a phone. A guise to remove the doctor from the room so dad wouldn’t feel the impact of the following: Mother to doctor “her heart, her heart, her heart” all said in a gasping whisper. Doctor to mom “Amy it’s ok and they can do so much these days if there is anything wrong”

No laughter.

When Larkin’s Pediatrician and Neurologist sat down with two terrified parents holding their 5-month-old baby girl, who had been thriving until then, and delivered the news “Larkin has Infantile Spasms” there was no laughter. Instead there was a mother who held her baby girl close and felt the air leave the room. There was a father struggling to absorb yet another blow.

No laughter.

Anger yes. Frustration yes. Sheer terror yes. A sudden education in the human brain and treatments yes.

Nothing funny.

When Larkin’s Neurologist in a large city away from the safe confines of home sat down with two terrified parents playing with their 19-month-old girl, delivered the news “Larkin has Lennox-Gastaut syndrome” there was no laughter. Instead there was a mother who leaned back heavily and felt the air leave the room. A mother who instantly felt as if she was falling away while sitting down. A mother who realized that her baby girl could die. A father who by now was used to the blows but still flinched as the sledgehammer came his way. A father who now had so much education under his belt responded through his grief with the responsibility required from a parent of a child diagnosed with triple the weight of catastrophic brain damage. Developmental delays. Mental retardation. Retard. Retarded.

No laughter.

Nothing funny.

Now lets walk down the fun part.

As parents we are changed. Grandparents, extended family on both sides, friends, community members, school friends, Fourteen’s life and outlook, co-workers, and strangers, are changed. The majority of those who surround this little girl are different. Andy’s friend said it best just last week. ”We are all changed because of Larkin. We are more understanding and careful with our words and actions”. Music to our ears because it was genuine and heartfelt passion for the war we wage.

We all feel differently about what is important. We all feel the sheer and total joy at what this little girl has accomplished. When her smiles returned and the first time we heard her laugh, sitting up on her own, responding to her name, giving us affection, using her treadmill to ingrain the pattern of walking, using her walker all the way to using her walker purposefully. Eating cake for the first time on her 4th birthday.

A mother holding her baby girl close. A father swinging his daughter over his head with joy. Air back in the room.

Lot’s of laughs and even tears of joy.

But not in humor.

Joy yes. Praising her doctors for their help and guidance yes. Praising God for giving us such a gift yes.

We have so much pride in this little girl that when we hear the word used as an insult, way to demean someone, to feel less than, to laugh at a joke – it is beyond disrespectful. It shows that the user has no compassion, love, or empathy in his or her life. It shows a lack of education. It shows a lack of being kind. It shows a lack of treating others as you wish to be treated. It shows ignorance. It shows the users flaws.

She has no control over what life has handed her.


We have had no control. And to address the “get thicker skin” comments. Skin only gets thicker because of abuse and scarring, it’s natures protection but not what was intended. There are friends who leave us out of play groups. Friends who have children who ask questions or stare in a manner that clearly shows they have been exposed to an inappropriate conversation about our daughter. Left out of birthday parties and that gap will only widen as Larkin gets older. It’s a grief that never ends and our skin does become thicker but so does our compassion, understanding, and acceptance.

We do have control over how we react and education is our first approach. Our second is to walk away with our sunshine and leave those who desire darkness to remain there. Only because we know their day is coming.

There will be a day when they are affected by mental retardation. It’s not a question of IF but WHEN – There and then maybe they will finally realize the joke has been on them all along. But we won’t laugh. We will accept them with open hearts and arms.

Larkin is now 5 1/2 years old and her health has been stable since 2009. Amy & Andy Armstrong live in Champaign Illinois and have a son Chase now 15 and twin girls B & E who are 15 months old. You can read more posts like this at www.momologist.com