Many Sides of Amy: Home Economist

Showing posts with label Home Economist. Show all posts

Back to school business

What I'm about to share with you... well it is kind of embarrassing. I think I have perfected the art of saving time and money on local school supplies. No, I'm not super mom. No, I don't have it all together. I've just done this for several years and had to find a way to make it easier.

Call me old. Call me lame. But I'm preparing my family, being diligent with my time, being a good steward with the money my husband has earned, and fulfilling my inner nerd all at the same time.

And to help my fellow moms, on a tight budget, who are secretly nerdy, I'm sharing my process with you.

Make a master list

First I downloaded all 6 kids' school supply lists and combined them to a master list.

I separated each line by:

Papers, Binders, Notebooks, Folders

Pencils, Crayons, Markers, Pens

Scissors, Glue, Etc.

Non School materials. (Like Clorox wipes and Ziploc Bags)

Doing this keeps me from cycling through 6 lists and makes it easier to find things while at the store. I've found that when you come back to the same Walmart aisle more than 7 or 8 times to look at the 5 million types of glue sticks, the employee's get concerned.

I should also note that if a school supply list calls for a particular brand, I try to buy that. If it doesn't, I find the cheapest thing possible. I've helped teachers fill their cabinets on the first day of school before and felt really bad when my kid's pencil box was the only one that did't fit perfectly in the shelf with all the others. For the whole year. I also know that "washable" is a relative term for every brand except Crayola. Some of you don't care about this and are thinking, "buy the exact thing on the list? Ain't no body got time for that!" I hear ya. But this is how I roll.

Beside each item I have a row for each of my kids. It comes in handy when I'm determining something is for an older child or my preschooler. Ashley will want the last cheetah print pencil bag and Kate will want the Elsa one...

It only took me 30 minutes and is SOOO worth it. And pivotal to my weird process. Even if you only do this part, it helps a ton.

But the next part is my favorite.

Compare prices

I go to 4-6 local stores to compare prices. But its crazy easy and I can do it with all my kids. I might look like a crazy person, but lets face it. Have I ever been normal??

I take pictures. Not of everything. But if its something I remember from my list (and after typing it up, I usually remember a lot of it) I take a picture of the item with the price tag. If I'm not sure, I take a pic anyway. It takes seconds to fly through the aisles snapping pictures. And everyone knows that when you've got kids in tow, it all falls apart when you stop the cart. So keep moving and snap those pictures!

Plug in the prices

Again, this maybe took me 30 minutes at most. I had to suffer through sitting in my ugly/comfy recliner with a cup of coffee while I "worked". It was rough.

First on "Tab 2" of my master list excel file, I copy and paste my whole master list from Tab 1. Where the kids' names are, I go back through and put store names. Going through all the pictures from Dollar General, Kroger, Target and Walmart, I record the prices next to each item. Again, I don't have pictures of everything, but I try to get some key items and it gives me an idea of who's cheaper.

Now I can print this out and have a quick reference for what to buy where.

Shop

This weekend, sans kids, I'm going to hit up just a couple of those stores. This year, several items are cheaper at Dollar General and I've got a $ off your whole purchase coupon that will make it all even cheaper. Then (unless there is something just way cheaper somewhere else) I'll go to Walmart for the rest. Based on all the prices I plugged in, Walmart was cheapest across the board in my area this year.

Divide it up

Then I can use my master list go through and divvy out all my goods to the right kid!

~~~

If you think I'm crazy and are now afraid of me.... I'm ok with that. I've had seasons where this just sounded way overwhelming to me and I just needed to print the lists, go straight to Target, spend 6 hours in there and several hundred dollars later, be done with it. Like, seriously, I'm only kind of kidding.

But if you love this and you're going to try it, let me know!! I hope this encourages you that you can have a big ol family but still save time and money!

Now lets pretend that the time I saved wasn't just spend blogging. ;)

My Homemade Cleaners

I have had so many friends ask for my recipes for homemade cleaners. It feels silly to post because they're crazy easy to make and I'm certainly no authority on the matter. But its an easy way to share with my friends, so here it is.

First let me say- people have different reasons for making homemade cleaners. But mostly:

-To be healthier for their family

-To be greener for the planet

-To get things cleaner faster

-To save money

I have to admit, my main goal is the last one. Being healthier for my family and getting things cleaner faster tie for second. So if a cleaner doesn't save me money, I'm not going to do it. If two options are the same cost, I'll go with the healthier one, obviously. So if Chemical free is your first priority, you might not be a fan of my homemade choices. Just a disclaimer.

Laundry Detergent.

I used to make the Duggar liquid soap recipe because I've always preferred liquid detergent. But after about a year of that one, I felt like it wasn't quite cleaning as well as I wanted it too. I had to really pre-treat any soiled spots. And who has time for that? Do the Duggars do that? I even wondered if the recipe had a typo so I stopped diluting it by half the last time. And I still felt like it wasn't getting our very dirty clothes clean.

And if you've ever made liquid laundry detergent, most smell great but look like snot. Or egg drop soup. Gross.

I tried a couple variations I found on Pinterest of dry detergent. But have settled into this one. Its not super super natural/organic but its natural enough that it doesn't bother my 5 kids who have eczema or sensitive skin. And it smells awesome. And it cleans great. And like any homemade detergents its still crazy cheap. So. I'm a fan.

1 (4 lb 12 oz) Box of Borax
1 (3 lb 7 oz) Box of Arm and Hammer Super Washing Soda
1 (3lb) Container of OxyClean (I use the Kroger brand)
2 (14.1oz) Bars of Zote Soap (You could also do Fels Naptha or a Castile Bar. But again, I'm not going for super organic, just cheap and good-cleaning.)
1 Box of Arm and Hammer Baking Soda (The recipes I tried that omitted this, I didn't like as much. This really cuts the stink that my family emits into their clothing. Maybe that's just us.)
1 Bottle of Purex Crystals Fabric Softener (This isn't totally necessary, but it makes it smell like heaven. Just do it.)

Grate up the bar soap with a cheese grater (and then clean the grater in the sink and rinse really well. Don't put it in the dishwasher. Trust me on this one.) Mix it all up in a 5 gallon bucket. Use roughly 2 Tablespoons per load.

(Recipe Source)

I've never taken the time to figure out the exact cost per load. But for now I can tell you that it's roughly $30 for all the ingredients and it lasts me for several months. And we do 2-3 loads of laundry a day. (I say we because my oldest two do their own.)

Over time, with any homemade detergent, I notice that my whites aren't quite as bright. So I dunk them in bhyrdogen peroxide or lemon juice. Maybe even bleach... really just whatever whitening agent I have around. And add in a scoop of my laundry detergent too and soak it all overnight.

Some blogs I found link all these ingredients to Amazon. But I'm not doing that because I can always find these things cheaper at Kroger than on Amazon. I'll leave your deal finding to you.

Fabric Softener

I use Distilled white vinegar.

*crickets*

That's seriously it. If you want you could add essential oil. Like Melaleuca or Lavendar. But I just use straight up white vinegar. No it doesn't stink (everyone always asks that), my laundry just smells like the super clean/flowery detergent. And its crazy soft. And I don't need fabric softener sheets. Sooooo yeah. That's it. Moving on.

All purpose cleaner

Now when I say all purpose... I'm not messing around. I use this for literally. everything. But I might add some extra "helpers" depending on what I'm cleaning. In a spray bottle combine:

1 part water
1 part distilled white vinegar
1 part rubbing alcohol
1 quick squeeze of dish soap (Dawn works great but I've used Seventh Generation too)
essential oil of your choice

Add the dish soap last or it will bubble up as you fill the other ingredients in. If you use essential oil, you'll have to give it a shake each time before use.

For the essential oil: I do Onguard during flu season. Right now I'm doing Purify. Grapefruit is also a good one and smells really clean. Technically, if you use a citrus oil, you should use a glass spray bottle and I do not. I'm a rebel like that.

I use this cleaner by it's self for:

~Kitchen Counters

~Kitchen table

~Appliances (its great on stainless appliances)

~Windows and Mirrors (the alcohol makes it evaporate quicker, so there's no streaking)

~Toilets

~Sinks

~Shower walls

~Bathroom floors

~Carpet (yes carpet)

~Fabric couches (unless its permanent marker and I have to bring out the big guns)

~Toys

And for some extra scrubbing power, I use my spray and then sprinkle down baking soda. Vinegar and Baking soda do this cool science experiment thing and foam up when combined. And it cleans really really well. And its not toxic. #winning

So I do that for:

~Inside the toilet bowls

~My kitchen sink when it gets really gunky (use an old toothbrush to scrub around the faucet)

~Bathtubs

~Shower floors

I used to sprinkle kosher salt on a half of a citrus fruit and use that to clean bathtub rings. It works really good, but I think my spray and baking soda work just as well. And baking soda is cheaper (and faster) than fruit so I just stick with that.

**bonus tip #1: buy one of these and fill it half way with dish soap and half way with vinegar. Leave it in or near the shower and give the shower a good scrub while you're in it. It saves you from that awkward yoga move you have to do to clean the shower while you're dry and end up wet (and sweaty) anyway and have a dislocated shoulder. This is much easier.**

**bonus tip #2: grease stains come very nicely out of clothing when you lay it flat on the table and sprinkle some cornmeal over it and let it set overnight. We don't ask why it works, we're just grateful it does. (Nod your head with me.)**

**bonus tip #3**: I hate baking soda boxes because when I grab them with a wet hand (because I'm cleaning with it) it gets soggy. So I pour my baking soda in a mason jar and use a Parmesan cheese lid (yes they fit mason jars) so I can sprinkle it out easily. Since I use baking soda on so many things, this has been a lifesaver for me.

Mopping

I've got a huge stainless stockpot that I fill 1/2 way up with about 1/2 water, 1/2 vinegar and several drops of essential oil. Usually melaleuca. I warm it up on the oven a little and then use it to hand mop all my floors. I just think regular mops leave way too much behind. And I like to clean the baseboards at the same time. Think about how quickly you can wipe down your counters. I move that quickly through a big section of floor and then plunge my rag in the pot again to refresh it. My downstairs is pretty big so if I'm doing the whole thing, I dump and refill my pot once.

Stuff I still use chemicals for

There are some things that I've tried making homemade versions of but never found a recipe that cleans to my liking.

Dish soap. I use Dawn. Or if our grocery budget is really tight and I need a deep sense of satisfaction from saving 85 cents, I'll buy the store brand of Dawn. I've also tried Seventh Generation and a couple other natural dish soaps and none of them had the same cleaning power as Dawn. And they're more expensive. So Dawn for the win.

Dish detergent. I really wanted to make this work. But everything I tried (including the Seventh Generation tabs and detergent liquid) left a film inside my dishwasher, made my dishes irreparably foggy and made me want to say bad words when I would open up a just-run dishwasher when I had a sink (and counter) full of more dishes that needed to go in.

Jake texted me on his way home from work one day asking if there was anything he could get from the store. At my wits end I said, "Dishwasher detergent."

"What kind?"

"Something toxic. With chemicals."

For the love.

Stain remover. I use Shout. My laundry big guns. This is another that I would just love if the homemade version really worked. But I really really really love shout for spaghetti sauce stains, grass stains, marker on the couch and juice on the carpet. Or any other way my family members can manage to stain something I paid for.

Walls. Every home with children should be well stocked with Mr Clean erasers. They aren't "natural" but the store brand ones are cheap and work just as well as the Mr Clean brand. I use them almost daily to clean crayon, pencils and markers from walls, tables and cabinets. Yes daily. Don't judge.

The last thing have not tried but plan to next: homemade pledge. I'm still comparing recipes but I have the ingredients to make the one I want. I'll come back and update this post if I like it. I'm currently using Kroger pledge and it leaves my wooden furniture foggy after a few minutes so... I'm hoping I like the homemade stuff.

~~~

I think that about wraps it up! If you have any questions about any of this or you have a cleaner recipe you absolutely love, please feel free to comment! Here's to a cheaper grocery trip, a healthier family and a cleaner home!!

The Homekeeping Notebook: What's in it!

I sort of debated sharing what's in my notebook, in my last post. I thought it would be fun to look back at someday but decided that wasn't really the point of the post. But apparently some of you really wanted to know.

So here it is. But I'm sharing on the condition that you realize this: what works for one family might not work for another.

AND. I said it in the last post, I'll say it again. What makes all this happen is not the binder, it's the mom. I will humble myself enough to tell you that when I was a young(er) mom ;) I would make beautiful lists and charts and not understand why my life didn't fall into beautifully organized bliss. It was because I needed to get up off my rear, quit looking at my beautiful lists and charts, and get some real work done.

Say it with me: a homekeeping notebook is an extension of your brain, not an extension of your hands. It does not actually do the work for you. Creative-type people (like myself) that enjoy making these books would rather make them then go do what's in them. It's a Pinterest generation fail.

Some of these pictures have an envelope covering the page because I don't really want the whole world to know all of my business. ;)

Lastly: Children must not ever be allowed to touch the notebook. It's mommy's master plan and without it, she will not survive. The end.

Ok I'm going to try to keep this as simple as possible. My Notebook:

Minus Kate's finger this time. I took these while she was napping. But they're all super lame pics. Sorry about that.

First:

My Supplies

This is a must so I can always find a pen when I need it. And it's also my hidden place for things that disappear like scissors and good erasers. And it's a great place to hide the matches.

Pencils

The good pen in the house

Scissors

Highlighter

Sharpie

Erasers
Stick-it notes (I'm obsessed and use them for everything)

Matches

Washi tape (I use it to tape paper invitations inside my cabinets)

My Calendar

This is NOT for appointments. It's my homekeeping calendar.

I have two calendars. This one and my Google calendar on my iPad.

The Google calendar is all my appointments, recurring (like weekly Bible studies) or not (like doctor appointments). Jake also has a Google calendar and we each have access to the others calendar, so we can see them overlap and know at a glance what's coming up and if either of us have plans on any given day.

The paper calendar I use for my personal, homekeeping notes like, which days a school lunch is ordered and for which kid, days special bills are due by, deadlines to send out birthday party invites, library book due dates, etc. Stuff I need to see and be reminded of but that doesn't affect what appointments are on the calendar. Does that make sense?

School Pocket-Folders

I have one of these for each of my kids' schools. It holds school schedules, important papers from teachers, a class newsletter (only until the next one comes out), etc. I also keep a stick-it note with the "official" arrival and dismissal times, PE days (because tennis shoes must be worn), and the morning bus drivers' phone numbers.

Scripture

The first two tabbed pages are just for inspiration. One is scripture. And I'll probably change it out occasionally. These are verses that have always inspired me as a wife, mom, and homekeeper. And I'm working to memorize them. I want these to be the first thing I see in my notebook when I flip to my tabs.

Job Description

I covered this one up because I think it's so personal to every woman. It's very specific.

It's listed in categories:

Wife

Mother

Home Manager

Ministry

Myself

What are the bare bones things your husband needs/wants from you? We are going through the Dynamic Marriage course with our small group so I have a literal list of my husbands needs, and I've written it out here. (Another reason it's covered) :) I look at it as often as I can to be reminded how I can best serve him.

What are your primary goals as a mom? That could be as generic or personal as you want it to be. But whatever you want to look back 20 years from now and say... Write that down. Its easy for me to slip into survival mode. But I want to parent on purpose.

If keeping the house clean, organized, and functional was an actual paid 9-5 job, what would the job description be? Just because we live in our workplace doesn't give us a pass to live in a sloppy house. How would you want it to look when you got home from a long day? Make it that way for your family! And write out those goals here.

What does your ministry require of you, physically? Write it down. And do those things. Be the best 4th grade sunday school small group leader you can be!!

I highly recommend every woman read "Taking care of the 'me' in mommy". If you don't take care of yourself, you can't take care of your family. Now, I'm the queen of dry shampoo and letting myself wait too long to be recharged. So I'm not saying make yourself priority one either, it's still the bottom of my list. I'm just saying - there's a balance. Take care of yourself.

Cleaning (Daily)

Every morning, no matter what day, I try to do this cleaning routine. Try. :)

Dishes/Unload the dishwasher

2 loads of laundry: washed, dried, put away

Clean the counters and tables

Sweep

Tidy the whole house (everything in its place)

Make all the beds

Vacuum the living room

Some of these used to night routines, but I'd rather spend time with Jake than obsess over the last 3 dishes in the sink or the mystery crumbs under the table.

Cleaning (Weekly)

I'm not sure how clear these pics are so I'm writing it again.

Dust

Vacuum all carpet/rugs/stairs

Mop

Bathrooms

Microwave and fridge (ours get nasty fast)

Windows/mirrors/TVs

Clean out the suburban

Change any dead light bulbs

I'm gonna talk about this weekly cleaning more in a minute.

Cleaning (Monthly)

Vacuum the couches

Clean the fans

Clean the walls

Ceilings and cobwebs

Vacuum the suburban

Not Just Being Busy: My Homekeeping Notebook

I'm always incredibly and genuinely shocked when my kids start school, go up a grade, have a birthday or say something increasingly intelligent for their maturity level. As if I thought they would be babies forever. "She's in 2nd grade!" "He looks so big!" "Did she just say that?" *gasp!* Like I didn't see it coming since the day they were born. But I am. I'm shocked. 5 kids in school this year. Whew.

I mean, are they cute or what?

And yes, Kate is home with me. I actually signed her up for Mothers Day Out but it was full and I was secretly happy.

*sigh* Summer is ending, school has started, and the busyness just changes to a different rhythm. And while I'm not usually as passionate about it as Jen Hatmaker, I'm welcoming this yearly change of season.

I've said this before, but my friends and I refer to back-to-school time as New Years. It really is. More than the actual New Years, its a fresh start. New school year, new teachers, new classmates (sometimes), new desk, new clothes... And for moms, a fresh start at our routine. New resolutions.

And seriously. After all those weeks of summer, I feel like bionic woman with all but 1 kid in school.

So, it's a goal every year but I'm perfecting it: I want to make the most of my time and be ahead of the game. The Lord has blessed us with a huge house and a half a dozen beautiful and energetic tornado children. ;) Which means I've got a big job.

I'm going to keep this place clean and organized, finish projects, stay on top of the laundry and uniforms, pre-make meals for busy evenings, shop for deals on groceries, be on time every where I go and be the very best home-keeper that I can be. Because that's what I'm called to do.

People at church are always asking me, "How do you do it?" And they're probably just referring to how I got these 6 squirmy children into the building alone without a stroller. But IF they were referring to how I juggle the Spencer Clan, this is it.

This is my homekeeping notebook. It's my brain. And Kate's finger pushing it. Which wasn't really meant to be symbolic, but it sort of is actually.

I've had one of these for years, but I'm always tweaking it. My last one stunk so I'm very excited about this new one. I also tried to do a version of this on my iPad with Evernote. It was a fail.

If you are a mom with more than 2 kids, your house is clean, your husband is fed, your kids folders are signed, you get them to school on time and you juggle the madness in your head, I applaud you. I was not, however, born with a brain that has that much bandwidth.

Oh and this year, we have this.

Schedule and checklists posted on the fridge. I've tried this before too, but again, I'm perfecting it.

But listen. Just because the fonts all match and the washi tape is cute, doesn't make this whole binder/schedule system work. All the Pinterest boards and excel files on the planet don't make all this come together. A mom does.

It takes work. A lot of it actually. I don't care if you have 10 kids in 4 different schools, you homeschool, or have no school age kids but a baby and a toddler or 3: Being a wife, mom, and home keeper is hard work. If I'm not sweating at some point in my day, something's probably falling apart somewhere. It's just the truth. Moms. Are. Busy.

But. Why do I need a homekeeping notebook, charts and schedules? Why not just wing it? I'll tell you.

To stay on top of my game

To be a good steward of my time and energy (of which there is little)

To better serve my husband

To better serve my children

Because I think homekeeping is a lost art

Because God's word says that a wise woman builds her house (Prov. 14:1)

Because I want the heart of my husband to safely trust me (Prov. 31:11)

Because the more efficiently and effectively I take care of my family and home, the more ministry I'm able to be involved in (Because I also believe I'm called to my family first)

Because the years pass quickly

Because all of our busy rushing ends in nothing (Ps. 39:6)

And because I want to live on purpose and be a woman of excellence, not settle for just being busy.

Do you have a homekeeping notebook? How do you find it helps you?

**update: for those who were curious what's IN the notebook, see this post: What's in it!**

The Remedy

I'm a fourth generation homekeeper. It might even go back further than that, but I can at least testify that my mom, grandmother and great grandmother were all wives, moms, and homekeepers. I'm a little old fashioned at heart and I love that there's a new generation of women trying to go back to the way their grandmothers did things. I mean, in my family we pass down things like our recipe for Frito Casserole (except its not the same thing if you don't say it with a southern accent) or how to fry okra. But that's not what I'm talking about. Lots of women are going back to gardening, couponing, using natural remedies, and cleaning with what's in the pantry. In fact, in a world of Pinterest and Crunchy Betty, "going granola" is pretty trendy.

But rather it be old-fashioned, crunchy, granola, hippie or none of the above: as a wife, mom and homekeeper, I'm always trying to keep my family healthy. With as few chemicals and drugs as possible. And on a budget. With the occasional Frito Casserole or run through taco bell. (gasp!) Hey. Don't judge.

Ya know... in this day and age, it's not easy.

You either do no research at all and live in ignorant bliss (which I don't feel is super wise) or every time you turn around, you find out something you're buying or consuming is killing you. Or causing eczema in small children. Where's the balance? There's almost too much information out there, and not all of it accurate.

We just don't live in the same world our grandparents did. We live in a world where autism, cancer, childhood obesity, ADD and even allergies are all on the rise. Just to name a few things. All of my grocery stores carry foods that aren't actually food at all and even the produce is laced with toxins. And while things are labeled "natural" I still have to do my homework because even "natural" products could be harmful to my family. And you can have the internet equivalent of a public stoning just for mentioning rather or not you've chosen to vaccinate your children. No comment.

And while I want to do the very best I can by my family, I try not to obsess over it. I'm not going to let fear control me. We buy some organic food, try not to buy too many processed foods, and cook from scratch as much as I can. I make my own laundry detergent and cleaners (because its cheaper and healthier). And recently, I'm trying to replace our medicine cabinet with essential oils. I make my own lotion, but I'm sure if you look in my bathroom cabinets you'll find something with a paraben in it. (gasp again!) But you know what? I do what I can to walk in wisdom while ultimately putting my trust in the Lord.

I haven't been using essential oils forever, really just in the last few months. But so far, I really love what I've been using. We've used them for eczema, fevers, sore throats, snotty noses, strep, diaper rash, headaches and PMS. And I'm doing some research on how they can help Micah and Abby focus when they're at church and school. Jake still prefers his excedrine migraine and cold medicine. And if something serious crops up, I'm not against picking up some antibiotics as needed. But for the most part, we're trying to take care of business-- medical business-- naturally. With essential oils, balanced with other things like organic apple cider vinegar and raw organic coconut oil.

But.

Not surprising of our culture, I'm noticing a tipping scale. People getting a little obsessive. Looking to oils or even just natural remedies for ev.er.y.thing. Its like a game. "What oil can I use for...?" And dare I even say it, using essential oils for spiritual purposes. I'm not talking about everyone that's using them. But its out there. And I feel that if I'm going to encourage others to use essential oils as a part of their medicine cabinet (because I love them!) I feel a responsibility to clarify what I'm encouraging the use for. Does that make sense?

Now, let me be clear. When I say spiritual... I don't mean psychological. I realize there are real chemical/hormonal/emotional/psychological reasons to use medical intervention via essential oils, pharmaceuticals, or whatever you choose. Depression, addiction, sensory processing disorder... these (and more) are very real diagnoses that are miserable to go through. And there are medicines and certainly oils that help with them, if not cure it altogether.

(Now, what I'm about to say does not apply to someone who is not a born-again believer. If you've not found Jesus, the following paragraphs do not apply to you. But I would encourage you to start a relationship with Jesus Christ because you'll find more fulfillment in Him than anyone/anything else you've ever tried or ever could try. I promise.)

But for the born-again, Bible believing, Spirit-filled, follower of Christ. There is not anything on this planet that should replace us going to our God and creator for our ultimate spiritual fulfillment and healing. He alone should be our all in all.

Can we use the resources He's given us to treat the illnesses of this world? Yes. Absolutely.

Should we use the brain in our heads that He's given us to make wise choices? Of course.

But what do we turn to first?

Are we using these things to give ourselves a sense of power and control over our circumstances?

And to take it a step further, should we be using oils for spiritual enlightenment (whatever you think that might mean) or to achieve a deeper inner peace and self worth?

Shaky ground my friends. Shaky ground.

There is nothing that should replace the work of the Holy Spirit in my life.

I've said it before, I'll say it again. I'm not big on religion. I'm big on relationship. With the true and living God. The maker of heaven and earth. Who see's my heart and knows my thoughts. Who loved me enough to send His one and only Son do pay for my sins. By Who's stripes I'm healed.

I'm not going to get super legalistic and outline what I feel is acceptable and unacceptable concerning... any of this. But can I ask you this? Please don't just read blogs, or trust in something someone on a FB group said or recommended, or listen to someone... who's selling something. Check God's Word. Find out what trusted and Godly friends and leaders think about it. And most importantly, pray about it. Check your own heart and ask the Lord to show you anything in your life that you're putting more trust in than Him. And if it causes you to sin-- and putting anything before Him is sin-- remove it. (Mark 9:43)

Today I was talking through some of this with a close friend. A fellow mom that strives to hear the Spirit of the Lord over the noise of our toddlers. She had a great point and said it so beautifully (as she usually does) with these words. "We want an answer that we ourselves can administer, removing the need for Christ. But we veil it in nobility of doing the natural best thing for our family. He is the cure. The remedy. First. Always." She texted those words to me and I stared at them for a long time. She absolutely hit the nail on the head.*

And listen people, I'm preaching to myself over here. If I'm so consumed with essential oils, "natural remedies", healthy living, organic food, being gluten free, being sugar free, clean eating or any other way of eating... or anything else for that matter... Facebook, emails, getting to the gym, my friends, what my friends think, my job, my parenting philosophy, my blog, my hobby, my home, even my kids... I don't care how good and right it is. If we're putting it before the Lord, its time for a change. Time to repent and rearrange the priorities.

I hope I'm able to communicate through these written words, with no tone or voice inflection being heard, the love with which I say these things. God is a God of love, mercy and grace. But He is also a jealous God with a fierce love that is serious about things that come before Him in our lives. I can't tell you what that means for you specifically. But I can tell you that we are not without measures for checking.

These are perilous times in which we live. (2 Tim. 3:1) Let's seek to do the the very best by our families, watching over the ways of our household. (Prov. 31:27) Let's run the race, not looking to the right or left. (Hebrews 12:1) Let's be of sober mind, testing everything. (I Peter 5:8, I Thes. 5:21) And hey. Lets do it together.

And should the Lord tarry, I'd love to raise up a new generation of sober minded, vigilant, God fearing wives, mothers and homekeepers who know: Christ is the Remedy.

*You can read more of my friend Sarah's beautiful words over on her blog, My Awefull Life

21 Days of Gratitude: Day 15

#1) Thankful that my husband is taking me out tonight and our precious friend is watching the kids.

#2) Thankful for a sweet gift from my dad and Margie, that means I get to go shopping and buy myself some new clothes!! Whoo hoo!!!!

#3) Thankful for my mom who was in labor with me for hours and hours and hours and has reminded me every November 15th for the last 30 years. ;) And I get to hear about how my mom had false labor a few weeks before and my grandparents drove all the way back to Ft Worth from New Orleans for nothing. And I get to hear how on the day I was born, the waiting room was packed to overflowing with family members... and how my dad and my aunt (my moms sister) both wanted to be in the delivery room so they stood in the hallway arguing, "I'm the father!" "No, I'm the father!"... and how cone-shaped my head was... awesome. Thanks mom. :P

Seriously though, I love you mom and I'm thankful for you!!

21 Days of Gratitude: Day 14

#1) Thankful for the amazing women in my Colossians study who have incredible wisdom and insight. Its an honor and a privilege to dig deeper with them.

#2) Thankful for fun, inexpensive dance lessons (led by sweet Godly women) for 3 of my girls!

#3) Thankful that Ashley and Emily have cleaned the entire downstairs (including unloading the dishwasher and washing what was left in the sink, clearing the table and the counters, tidying up the playroom, kitchen, living room and office of toys, trash, dirty clothes, etc) while I'm upstairs putting the 4 littles to bed, to "surprise" me! Thankful thankful thankful!!!

21 Days of Gratitude: Day 1

Am I grateful?

I mean really grateful.

I don't even really want to come up with a solid answer for that, but just ponder it in my heart.

Being grateful isn't something I can check off of a list. Its a constant state of the heart.

A guy from our church, Chance Scoggins, had a great post on his blog today that got me thinking about this. 21 Days of Gratitude. 21 days to be thankful for 3 very specific things, with no "buts" attached. Starting today and ending on Thanksgiving Day. And because I can majorly identify when he said, "as we sit down to Thanksgiving dinner, I feel like I’m sliding into home plate. It feels more like an event we pulled off than a day set aside to spend time together and count our blessings" I'm joining him. And I'm going to figure out a fun way for my kids to get involved in this thankful-journey but for now...

Day 1....

#1) I'm thankful for my husband. More specifically, that his his heart is always to keep our marriage solid and ever better.

#2) I'm thankful that we have enough money in our bank account to go buy groceries today.

#3) I'm thankful for my big beautiful house. Specifically today, that it is a perfectly safe and fun place for my children with special needs to sleep and play.

Lord, thank you. Genuinely, truly, sincerely. Thank you, Father God.

Show me Your ways Lord

Hello, little blog, I promise I haven't forgotten you.

Life has been so busy...

September was packed month. Our family took a much needed one week vacation in Florida. I use the word "vacation" loosely but it was a fun family trip. ;) After that my mom-in-law came in town and we had a baby shower for my sister-in-law who's having her first girl. Also, our very dear friend Kory's wedding was in September, complete with all the wedding festivities: bridal shower, lingerie shower, tool shower, rehearsal, etc, etc, etc. We had some close friends stay with us while they were in town over wedding weekend, which was fun. I also had a couple of events to decorate for. (I think I've mentioned it before, but I do some event decorating for the church and for friends). And actually Kory's wedding was one of those events. We wrapped the month up with a big presentation that Ashley and Emily had at school, in which they both did awesome.

Then there's our weekly home-group, weekly women's Bible study, and bi-weekly adoption group.

And all of this in addition to the daily grind of diapers, laundry, dishes, packed lunches, homework, housecleaning, buying groceries, paying bills and other glorious tasks.

*sigh*

But there's this ever present nudge. Calling me to slow down.

At the risk of sounding overly poetic, the cooler weather always seems to blow a fresh perspective over my life. It beckons me to take deep breaths. To look around and be thankful. It makes me want to slow down. Its almost as if the Creator of the autumn breezes knows whats best for me. ;)

Some things you just can't. Its not as if I can tell my kids that we're giving up evening homework for the week so Mommy can slow down. Its not as if I can just bail out on grocery shopping or laundry or going to our best friends' wedding. Things like Women's study and small group are actually things that refuel me, so I couldn't and wouldn't let those go.

But some things....

I recently made a list. Of all the things that take up time on my calendar. Every. Little. Thing. I needed to evaluate and purge. Its not an easy task, but it had to be done. I'm taking a good look at my weeks and organizing them the way a good homemaker should, with the help of an amazing book "Large Family Logistics" (which I'm sure I've referenced before).

~Monday is Cleaning Day
~Tuesday is Laundry Day
~Wednesday is Town Day (don't laugh, I know it sounds very Little House on the Prairie, but don't know what else to call it)
~Thursday is Kitchen Day
~Friday is Office Day

I've got my schedule all written up. With room to breathe. Room for life. And room to do the things around my house that make life sweeter when I push up my sleeves and attend to. If you've ever seen the program Microsoft One Note, its perfect for my new Home Management Book. I've got a tab for each day, complete with meal plans, to do lists, housecleaning schedules, and links to recipes, etc. I've also got tabs for our family budget, the kids' school stuff, grocery and shopping lists, weekend projects, and all things medical.

Today is Kitchen Day and I baked a loaf of Reeces peanut butter cup banana bread. Next I'm making granola bars, pre-baking some meatballs for dinner, and then hopefully a batch of my laundry detergent.

And because I've kept up with all my other "days" this week (and I'm ignoring the pile of mail and emails until "Office Day" tomorrow), today I can open my windows, crank up Pandora, and bake my little heart out. Right now Kate is taking her morning nap and Mabry is hosting a babydoll teaparty while she runs into the kitchen periodically with me to lick spoons.

Life is so sweet when its slow.

~~~

That's not all though. There's more on my heart.

Not only is God calling me to slow down, He's calling me deeper. In actuality, I believe He's always calling me to both, but right now, I'm listening.

"Do you really know how much I love you? And do you live like you know it?"
"Will you obey Me at any cost?"
"I have such great things in store for you if you'll follow me deeper."

He's stirring my heart. I don't know where He's going to take me but I know that's where I want to be. I want to chase Him with reckless abandon. I want to give up all the things of this world to know Him more. I want to focus my eyes on Him and not on the fleeting things of this world.

The pot is stirred. There's no going back.

God thank you for guiding me. Give me wisdom, boldness and discernment to do that which You've called me to do, and only that which You've called me to do.

The wise woman builds her house, but the foolish pulls it down with her hands.
Proverbs 14:1

A mans heart plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps.
Proverbs 16:9

Show me your ways Lord, teach me your paths. Lead me in your truth and teach me, for You are the God of my salvation, on You I wait all the day.
Psalm 25:4-5

The MANY sides...

I've thought about changing the name of my blog. I've never really been super crazy about it. It feels really self-centered.... or something. Like its all about me. And its not. But the point was this- I wanted a place where I can write the things that are in my heart, on my mind, or happening with my family. I could journal them, but this way family and friends can keep up with our family as well. And "the many sides" seemed to fit well since, as most mothers do, I wear so many hats.

Well, recently I've really been feeling every. one. of those sides. I'm a wife and I'm a mom. I'm an adoption advocate, adoptive parent, chauffeur, chef, crafter, cousin, granddaughter, daughter, daughter-in-law, sister, sister-in-law, friend, home economist, maid, and member of the DS community. And by the grace of God I am, above all, a child of God.

I think I'll keep the name.

The following should probably all be separate posts. But its all in my head at one time on any given day, so that's how I'm writing it.

Ashley and Emily are getting older and more mature every day. At their last doctors check-up, we talked about Ashley and uh... "girl stuff" being just a few years away. Things to watch for, how to handle it. Oh I'm not ready for that phase yet! Can we all just take a deep breath and slow this ride down?!

I've been talking with friends about our hopes and goals in parenting our precious children through the next several years. I don't want to miss even one of the very many teachable moments, training my girls to be ladies. Women of God. These years are so crucial. I want my kids to know they can talk to me about anything. I want to help them grow spiritually. I'm fully confident that I'm raising children in the end times and they need to be firm in their faith, able to rightly divide truth from lies. Sound biblical doctrine from the twisted things the world will throw at them. And I want to rally with other parents who feel the same way, to raise these warriors together. This is not for the faint of heart!

Meanwhile... recently I find that I could spend hours scouring my special needs and Down Syndrome boards online. Trying to figure out if things Micah and Abby are going through are common.

Does anyone else's kids have these screaming/grunting fits? Does anyone else's kids try to escape? Is it "normal" for kids with Down Syndrome to have this difficult of a time potty training?

Everyone talks about how kids with DS are just the sweetest angels who are "otherworldly" and kind to everyone they meet. And don't get me wrong, Micah has a capacity to forgive that blows my mind. And Abby holds no prejudice, she can tell within seconds if someone is a genuinely kind person and will greet people with hugs that come from straight from her heart! But they also get angry, yell, don't want to share, push, hit, and are probably the most stubborn people in this house! (And if you know me, that's saying a lot.) :) Besides some physical and speech delays, they really are no different than anyone else.

But I constantly wonder- should I be disciplining them any differently? Should I be more sensitive? Do they get enough therapy for their needs? Am I doing something wrong?? Could I be doing something more??? *sigh* My mind could be full-time busy just navigating this road of parenting children with Downs.

Then there's the adoption stuff. MAN is my heart burdened in this area. If I had time, I would dive head first into this ministry. I've started a little group for the families at our church. I don't have a lot of time, or resources, just a strong desire to connect people. A desire to support adopting families and to encourage those who are home.

There are millions of orphans in this world. Children with no one to love, protect, and teach them. What will become of these kids? Lets just say the statistics are not good. If Jesus is the answer, and we are his hands and feet, where does that put me? I want to do something! Do you know how many kids are in my own county right now, in the vicious cycle of the foster system? Did you know most of them have to be housed out side of the county because there aren't enough foster families here? I could actually burst into tears right now just thinking about it. *BIG sigh*

As for my babies. I decided to really go full force potty training Abby and Mabry this week. (Because, ya know, I don't have enough on my plate this summer.) But literally- Mabry potty trained in one day. She has not had one single accident (aside from a wet pull up in the morning or after naps, which I don't count). I'm so proud of her! And Kate is so close to walking. Both of them are talking more and more every day. They are such cute, squishy girls and they just melt me with their adorable little smiles and personalities. Even Ashley will say, "Mom, Kate is just so cute, I can't stand it!" I mean, they are little and they have their moments and fits, but seriously, they are sunshine to everyone in this house. I could squish, kiss, tickle and play peek-a-boo all. day. long. AAHH! I love them so much it hurts!

Aaaaand, my husband. He has so much going on and he needs to come home to a ~~somewhat~~ sane wife. Who loves him, supports him, and does him good and not harm. In all things. I don't ever want to be so busy with the children and the house that I'm too emotionally checked out to be aware of whats going on in his world. I'm his best friend, beloved, and helpmate. First and foremost.

Did I mention I'm leaving for the Dominican Republic next week? Ashley, Emily and I are accompanying Jake and all the youth kids and leaders on the summer missions trip. Only we'll be staying with Jake's parents. (We've divvied up the 4 littles to some precious friends who are helping us out.) I'm so excited for Ashley and Emily to have a taste of another country, less fortunate than this lavish life we lead. But its been difficult to prepare them because, on one hand, this is Grandma and Grandpa's house. On the other hand, its the mission field. Its it's own unique thing, I guess.

Anyway, my mind is swimming trying to make packing lists and instructions for all four. Micah is his own world of instructions. ABBY is her own world of instructions. Then there's the babies with all of their gear.... Bottles, sippy cups, diapers (just for Kate, whoo hoo!), toys, doses for Tylenol, emergency contacts, medical releases. Then there's the packing for us... passports, copies of passports, books for the flight.... gonna have to weigh the bags to keep them under whatever the weight limit is... I'm nervous about customs with a 7 and 8 year old, just remembering how miserable it was going to Ukraine. And that was just me and Jake. But at least we'll be with a bunch of youth leaders and like 40 high schoolers. That should be fun. ;)

Back to my point. Or was there one? Oh right, the many sides.

Anyway, on top of all of this, the laundry and dishes in this house require so much care, I feel like I should mention them as a part of our family. Its like some crazy monster... if I threaten to break off a limb or two, he grows back 4 more. Where does it come from?! And Praise God for homemade laundry detergent, I'm loving that stuff. But ya know, every time I load the washing machine or dish washer, I try to remind myself that I could be hand washing all of this. Suddenly I don't mind so much. :)

~~~

I hope this whole post doesn't sound like complaining. I'm just... chronicling all of it. :) These are the many sides of me. Each a completely precious and sacred area of my life. I would never trade any of it away. I just have to find the balance in it all. And daily lay it before Jesus. These kids are his kids. Down Syndrome is no mystery to Him. Orphan care is closer to His heart than it is to mine. And I am doing what he created me to do. When you boil it all down, I'm Amy. Wife, mom, sinner saved by grace.

You shall increase my greatness, and comfort me on every side. (Ps. 71:21)
My flesh and my heart fail;But God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. (Ps.73:26)

Chores and Behavior

For this post to make sense you will probably want to read Operation Spencer Summer 2012 and Daily Summer Schedule first, if you haven't already.

Some friends were asking about the chore and behavior cards I'm using this summer and its hard to explain it without just showing you so... here it is. We just started this like a little over a week ago, but so far its going awesome. I looked up all kinds of chore charts on Pinterest and just couldn't find any that I liked. So I made my own creation and I really like it; I'm really happy with this set up. I can usually tell with in a day or two if something isn't going to work. And we'll definitely be doing this all summer.

This is my humble kitchen wall:

The chalkboard lists today's date, our verse of the day (after doing our morning devo from Jesus Calling for Kids), our daily craft or lesson, and what's for dinner. The dinner part is more for my reference.

At the bottom is our schedule. The same one that I posted before, in posterboard form. (A friend of mine was wanting a copy of this after the last post, so I just emailed her my excel file. I'm happy to share it if anyone wants it!) We move the clothespin to what time of day it is. I'm actually working on a picture system for Micah, Abby and Mabry, because clearly, they can't read this. Its more for me and the big girls to know what's next for who. Hopefully the picture system will be done soon and I'll try to post pictures of it when it's done.

Also on the wall, Ashley and Emily each have their own clothesline. This is where I hang their chore cards.

They have some pins for chore cards and one (to the left) for holding a punchcard and tickets (I'll explain those in a minute). The girls have morning chores and evening chores. And whatever needs to be done, I'll pin up here. They can have up to four chores each time, but usually just one or two. I base it on how time consuming that chore will be. The chore cards I've made are:

~Dust the living room

~Vacuum the stairs

~Clean the downstairs bathroom

~Clean the upstairs bathroom

~Wash the towels

~Wash the kitchen table

~Spot mop the kitchen and hallway

~Clean the living room

~Clean the bonus room

~Clean the pink room

~Clean the purple room

~Clean your room

~Clean the playroom

~Clean up the backyard

~Put away laundry

~Unload the dishwasher

~Sweep the kitchen and hallway

(The last two or three they get at least once a day. They rotate getting the sweeping card at every chore time. Also, helping with their siblings doesn't count as chore work.)

Ok so. The back of these cards all say "Done!" and once they have finished that chore, they take it off, flip it over, clip it back and leave it there. Once I see all their chores are done, I go gather up their cards, take the cards through the house and check the work. One of my favorite mommy books says "Inspect what you expect" and its grown to be a new motto for me. If one of their chores isn't complete or wasn't done correctly, she'll have to go back and do it again. Once they're all done correctly, she'll get a punch in her punchcard for each chore completed.

I also want to add that they've been taught how to do each of these chores thoroughly. They know what's expected. (I saw an idea that I love and want to do-- making a list of steps for a chore, laminate it, and then post it somewhere in that room. So if a card says "Clean the bathroom" make a checklist and hang it behind the bathroom door. That's next on my list after the little kids's picture chore chart and schedule.)

Anyway, then once they have a full punchcard, they turn it in for $3. They know that this is subject to change. Right now it seems about fair. I think they're going to average one card a week. Maybe faster. But for all the work they're putting in, I think its about right for now.

So then that $3 gets taken over to their money cans:

They put .30 cents in their tithe can because they know that the word "tithe" actually means tenth. And we do that first because Jesus always gets our first fruits. How much they put into savings is up to them, but they know that they aren't allowed to touch those cans until they reach $50. Anything left goes into spending. I have to say I'm surprised that they usually put most of it in savings. I don't know what they're saving for but I know they want it pretty bad. ;)

So that's how we're doing chores around here!

As for behavior...

I've made some "tickets". A whole big stack of them. Whenever I see good behavior or random acts of kindness, they'll get a ticket. Right now we've got:

~Stay up and extra 30 minutes

~Hair straightening or curling

~Manicure or pedicure (from me, we're not going to the salon or anything!)

~Bake cookies with mom

~Extra snacktime

~Bubble bath in mom's tub

~Treat from the ice cream truck

~Toy from the dollar bins (this can be Target or the real dollar store where everything is $1)

~Play at Grannie's house

~Movie before bed

~Bike ride to the park with dad

~Sleep in the bonus room

~Free punch on chore card

~Sonic slush

The restrictions: These may be redeemed at anytime but Mom reserves the right to say "not right now". And just because your sister has a card, doesn't mean you get to utilize it too. (ie. If Ashley is using the "Movie before bed" card, Emily doesn't get to watch it too.) But if they want to save a certain card until their sister draws one too, and use them at the same time, that's okay.

Lastly, if they are behaving badly, these tickets can be taken away. When they are given, they draw from the stack without looking. When they are taken away, I get to choose which one is taken. If they are misbehaving, they get one warning and after that, I take a ticket.

Here are all of my cards (front and back), tickets and punchcards close up:

One of my favorite parts of all of this is that it was ALL FREE! I have a ton of scrapbook paper and made all of this with that paper, scissors, a glue stick and a sharpie. And it honestly didn't take that long.

The chore cards each have 4 squares: a front, a back, a front label and a back label. If I could laminate them I would. I want these to last for a good long time.

The punchcards are just one little square of the thicker, color-on-both-sides paper.

The tickts are just one rectangle of thin scrapbook paper and the back is just white with sharpie ink bleeding through. ;) Not super cute, but whatever. And I know over time, these will become not-so-exciting-and-cool anymore and I'll be making new ones.

The clothesline is just some embroidery floss I had a bunch of, but you could use anything. And its tied to pushpins.

The money cans are literally just soup cans covered with paper using a glue stick. :)

One last thing-- and I just added this over the weekend. I bought some of those Scholastic Summer workbooks. (Click here and here.) Each day they do the front and back of one worksheet that has vocab, grammar, writing, reading, math and more. We're doing them at "table time" after lunch. Its not much but we're trying to further prevent summer mind-mush. I also bought some fun flashcards for the little ones with numbers, letters, colors, shapes, etc. I have some home-made ones but they seem to like the store bought ones so much more. They're prettier. :)

I think that's it! I know this totally would not work for every family-- and clearly this is just for 1/3 of my kids-- but its a helpful system for me and I hope it helps someone else!