His feet

Now as they went on their way, Jesus entered a village. And a woman named Martha welcomed him into her house. And she had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord's feet and listened to his teaching. But Martha was distracted with much serving. And she went up to him and said, “Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Tell her then to help me.” But the Lord answered her, “Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things, but one thing is necessary. Mary has chosen the good portion, which will not be taken away from her.” Luke 10:38-42

We've been in Knoxville for exactly 2 months. The boxes are unpacked, curtains ordered and hung, the pictures are on the walls. The biggest tell-tale sign that we've just moved in is the already-tattered temporary paper blinds in the windows. But even the "real" blinds have ordered and will be in in a couple of weeks.

If you've just happened upon my little blog, we're here because we're planting a church with two other families. It's been a wild step of faith into the unknown for us all. But I wouldn't necessarily characterize it as scary either. When you know that you've taken a step that the Lord asked of you, there's a comfort in knowing He'll carry you through it. And this beautiful place has a way of making you fall in love. The river, the foothills of the Smokies, the abundance of parks... there's beauty all around us. And that's saying a lot if you know the gorgeous area we came from.

We're having regular Sunday services already; as well as a weeknight dinner and study for the college students/young adults. We've also been meeting with some of the families we've connected with here, having them over for dinner. I've met some pretty amazing people and I feel incredibly blessed at the thought of these people being our new community. And we've been so blessed to have friends and family from Nashville come to visit. It always does my heart so much good to see familiar faces.

All of these things happen here. In our home. If you know me at all, I love that! My heart is hospitality, it almost energizes me. I want to open my home. I worked hard to get it settled quickly because I knew that our house would be a hub for our little church community for a while. And its been so fun. It is truly a joy to be His hands and feet.

We are living and breathing community and fellowship. There are no big programs or ministries set yet. Everything we do involves coffee, face to face communication and loud kids running up and down the stairs. :) We're doing life together-- praying for any random thing that comes up, big or small. We share everything from kids clothes, to shopping finds, to leftovers that get divvied up and sent home after meals. This is such a precious time being the hands and feet of Jesus to one another and we are soaking it in. 

And every part that I'm responsible for in our home, I want to be diligent and do it to the best of my ability. I want to be Martha Stewart. And Paula Dean. And Charlotte Mason. And Anne Voscamp. And Beth Moore. And, and, and...

My spirit is willing and overjoyed.

And then. my flesh steps in. *facepalm* 

Its crazy how quickly you can go from serving to controlling. From being prepared to being obsessive. My heart is to create a warm (and clean) environment, prepare food, and welcome friends and family. But somehow, now and then, minutes before company arrives, I feel pressure. My inner control freak steps in. I bark orders at my kids and snap at my poor husband. And when our precious guests arrive, I open the door and it feels like I'm welcoming Jesus. I find myself in the midst of a (fairly) clean house and a prepared meal, but I am feeling exhausted and convicted. The enemy whispers that he just had a little victory and he laughs.

But then the voice of Jesus says, "Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light." Matthew 11:28-30

The Lord is so sweet to deal gently with me. One Sunday (I think it was actually our first Sunday) before service, we were getting the house ready. We all moved around furniture, made coffee and prepared snacks, Krystal and Alex went over their songs for worship, and we brought chairs in and set them up in our living room. After all the chairs were all nicely lined up, I saw that the back of them were dirty. Like, gunky dirty. So I grabbed a dish cloth and got to work. As it got close to time for people to arrive, Jake called together our team to pray for the service. But I wasn't done. And as our team all stopped what they were doing-- I prayed as I scrubbed chairs. And I kept on scrubbing after prayer was over. The chairs were clean(er) but as I finished and looked at them, I felt the Lord nudge me. I remembered the story of Mary and Martha. I didn't feel guilty, I felt convicted and that's how I knew it was the Lord. So I tucked it in my heart for later. 

That night I read Luke 10 and thought about Mary. God reminded me that sometimes, instead of being His hands and feet, I have to stop. And sit at His feet. Diligence, hard work, hospitality: these are good things. Romans 12:13 literally says to practice hospitality. But it begins in the heart. Wearing myself out so that I have nothing left to offer is not hospitality.

I'm not saying I won't still clean up or do all I can to prepare my home. Around here, it only takes a matter of hours for the baseboards to be hidden by laundry, the floor a landmine of legos and naked barbies and the dishes to overflow. I love my children but they are professional house dirtiers.

What I am saying is this. I'm purposing to prepare my heart as much, if not more than I prepare my home. After all, we don't invite people in because we have it all together. We invite people in so we can love one another as fellow followers of Jesus. (Or to share with those who don't know Him.) And in the process we find that sitting together is to sit as His feet, just as Mary did. 

"For where two or three are gathered together in my name, I am there in the midst of them." Matthew 18:20

~~~

Do you host a small group, entertain often, or just have a heart for hospitality? She Reads Truth has an awesome series on Hospitality that is a precious resource. I'm not paid to say that or anything, I just really love their stuff. ;)

I am my beloved's

"Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her..." Eph 5:25 

Jake has officiated several weddings over the years. He does thorough marriage counseling with any couple he marries, so if he didn't already, he knows them well. It shows in his eyes as he smiles at the couple on their wedding day and shares from his heart. I love watching his face as you see a little bit of excitement over this new union; and a little bit of that proud fatherly face. That glow that comes when you look at someone you've discipled and loved and watched grow.

But my favorite part is when he shares with them about the partnership of marriage. He shares it more for the sake of the family and friends present, because there's no doubt he's talked about all this and more with the couple already.

He often shares how people say that a marriage is 50/50. Each giving half. But that he thinks that's wrong. That a marriage really works best when its 100/100. Each giving all of themselves for the other. "If you're giving all of yourself up for your bride, and doing everything you can to take care of her... And she's doing the very same thing, you don't have to worry about taking care of yourselves because the other is doing it." That's not an exact quote, he would say it better. :)

At that point in the ceremony a small piece of me wants to stand up and tell everyone, "Listen to what he's saying! He's right about this! And I can testify that this man lives it!" He does.

This past week was a perfect example.

Our house is mostly unpacked but we're all still adjusting to our new normals. For some of the kids its homeschooling, for some their new school, for Jake its starting a church from basically nothing and all of the work and relationship building that requires. For me its running our new home and new schedule, shopping from new stores, paying new bills... making meals is the only thing that doesn't look very different, although I'm sure my family would be happy to have that part changed up a little.

Monday about mid-morning I was mid-juggling all the balls. All. the. balls. When my sweet husband came in and asked me a very simple question about our schedule. And I lost it. I started bawling. About how the kids needed to be fed and I was behind on lesson plans and couldn't find the teachers guides online to the curriculum we have and that I didn't know what I was cooking for the large group of students coming over for dinner and and and and....

This kind of outbursts of emotion used to send us both into a defensive uproar. But over the years we've he's learned to navigate these waters. So we had a calm conversation and we both apologized (even though I was the only one who owed one) and carried on with the day. Which ended up being a pretty awesome day, actually.

A couple of days later I came down with a flu bug of some kind. Sore throat, nauseaus, coughing, body aches and general misery. It hit hard and fast late one night and I knew tomorrow--and whatever tomorrow held--I wasn't going to be able to pull off.

Jake jumped into gear without batting an eye. He whizzed through the day getting kids to school, feeding them, taking them to the park, keeping the house clean and the laundry going. He canceled some meetings and had others over the phone. He even recorded a remote podcast from one of the kids' bedrooms. All this while bringing me Gatorade and medicine and putting essential oils on my back when I'd ask.

Never complaining once.

When I finally made it downstairs, I thanked him and tried to tell him how amazing he was. "I mean, you do this stuff every day," he said simply. "Yeah but I couldn't just jump into your job and pull it off like that." I was right and he couldn't argue. He's super dad. :)

We've been looking for a new vehicle since we moved, knowing it was a time that made sense for us financially. As much as it meant laying my pride down... it was time for our family to get a passenger van. Not that Suburbans are exactly a cool vehicle to have, it still felt more like a family vehicle and less like a hotel shuttle. So I determined that I wanted a Nissan because I like the look, safety ratings and flexibility of the seating inside. And I wanted either a Blue, Brown or Black one. Not that I'm picky. :) So Jake hunted high and low for exactly what I wanted at a price we could afford. And he found one. In Boston.

This man. In the midst of all that he has going on (and having lost a work day while I was sick) got a one way ticket to Boston, Massachusetts, bought me a van and drove it 16 hours home over 2 days.

Because he loves me. And he takes care of our family, sacrificially.

Jake lives that marriage is 100/100. Each laying everything down for the other. "...as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her" Eph 5:25 I may not always do everything I can for Jake. I'm not always selfless and taking care of him. And he's not perfect either. But regardless of the response of the other, the goal is that we give 100%. Christ laid down His life for us. For those who chose to receive Him and for those who don't. He didn't say, "I'm only giving 100% if you do." He loves us no matter what.

"For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord." Romans 8:38-39

I'm not saying its easy. It isn't. What's easy is to give in to fear or insecurity. What if it isn't reciprocated? What if I take care of him but he doesn't take care of me? But in our few years of marriage, we're learning: it doesn't come naturally so it has to come spiritually. It's only when you plug into the love of Christ that you can fully lay yourself down in vulnerability, faithfulness and sacrifice. And when we each do that, it works so much better than when we try to fly solo.

"A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another." John 13:34-35

"I am my beloved's and my beloved is mine." Song of Solomon 6:3

Yesterday was Valentines Day. Jake got in late in the afternoon with the new van and its awesome. But what's a million times more is that my husband loves me and gives of himself for me. And everything in me wants tell him and show him how much I love him back.

I love you Jake Spencer. You are my beloved and I am yours. 100%

We're here!

Well, this is it. My first post as a Knoxville resident. My heart still speeds up a bit at that thought! For the first time since I was 15, I don't live in the Nashville area. So crazy!

And though it isn't exactly far (right at 3 hours away), it's different here. The people, the culture, even the landscape. Its definitely not better or worse, its just all a little different. I'm equal parts missing my home town and falling in love with my new one.

I can't believe we've already been here for 15 days.

We had a great move! (Thanks to our two amazing real estate agents! We highly recommend Jenny Fann in Spring Hill and Troy Stavros in Knoxville!) :) As we were closing and making the drive to Knoxville, we were hearing that there might be some winter weather coming.

We spent one night here in a hotel and when we got up to close on the new house, we were greeted with a thin blanket of white! We bundled up the kids and headed to the title office, the electric company and then over to our new home to wait on the moving trucks. All the while the snow just kept falling.

We were pretty concerned that the road conditions would be too bad for our movers coming in from Nashville, but... the kids thought the snow was magical. And I have to admit--that hour (or however long it was) that we sat on sleeping bags in front of the fireplace... in our echoing, empty house... with our Jersey Mikes picnic... watching the snow fall outside... it was magical. A sweet kiss from the Lord.

The movers finally showed up and in classic Spencer fashion, our magical moment moved straight into high energy excitement and chaos. They obviously have to keep the doors open to move the furniture in, so the downstairs was every bit as chilly as it was outside--while the snow was still falling and really starting to accumulate! Those poor guys were freezing while unloading the trucks and had to inch their way down the truck ramp not to slip. And I spent the next several hours directing them through the house, drinking more coffee than is healthy just to stay warm, mopping up the steady stream of melted snow on my new hardwoods, stressing about my kids running in and out of the snow without any gloves or appropriate snow clothes, and blow-drying one of the kids' mattresses that had rainwater poured on the side of it from a leak in the truck door.

Micah took it upon himself to take pictures of our movers, but now I'm glad he did!

The kids met several neighbor kids outside in the snow, all close to their ages. I love how children can go from being compete strangers one minute to building trenches with sideways sleds and having street-wide snowball fights in no time. It took everything in me to overlook the fact that my kids were trembling cold and probably going to be sick (and they never were) because they were making friends and memories. Thank you Lord. For health and friends. ;)

Kate and Abby passed out after a long day of moving.
And bundled up because it was COLD!!

Since that day, I started working and haven't really stopped. The boxes are almost completely unpacked and a few things are even on the walls. Because our house will be sort of a home base for the church for a little while, it was important to me that it be welcoming and cozy, quickly. And I believe in my heart that if the kids love their rooms and feel good about them, it does their hearts good during this new phase.

We've had lots of visitors since we moved in. Both of the other families moving with us to start the church have had home inspections, so they've been through. (Minus Sarah and the girls! We missed you!) Along with some family and some practically-family. :)

And there's been no time wasted in making connections with families here and UT students. People have brought us dinner; we've had people over for dinner. We've even had a game night. Our family table has officially been christened here with friends and family sharing meals, laughter, cards and the loud singing of "somebody's going down". If you don't know what that is, you need to come play cards with us!

Last but certainly not least, the kids are all trying to settle into our new school routines. Micah and Abby are liking their new school and I had two great IEPs there. The other 4 are homeschooling and that's going ok. Probably best saved for another post. :)

Though its hard and feels strange not to share even more, I'm going to try and leave church updates to that blog. The church is so much a part of our lives, it's almost impossible to seperate. The Lord is doing so many amazing things and I could spend all my time telling those stories. But I'm saving those to be told to a broader audience than my humble blog. But please check out our sweet send-off from our home church here. And follow along there for updates. Its going to be so fun to watch what God does next.

As for me and my house, we're here and getting settled so we can serve the Lord!



"This Book of the Law shall not depart from your mouth, but you shall meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do according to all that is written in it. For then you will make your way prosperous, and then you will have good success. Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:8-9

Christmas 2015

That's not a very creative title. But you should be impressed I'm writing at all.

I just survived Christmas. Emotionally and Physically.

This wasn't just any Christmas. It was Christmas 2015. The last one in this house. The last one in Middle Tennessee.

It started with the typical chaos. School plays, festivities, Christmas shopping, long lines at Target, cookie exchanges and Amy forgetting which kid needed the wrapped book under $5 and which one needed 30 paper plates and cups. And on which days.

What made it different was what makes it one I'll never forget.

SCHOOL

Class Christmas party day this year was hard. Because it was also the last day of school {forever} for my four GCA kids.

Mabry and Mrs Michelle

Ashley's Surprise goodbye party by the 6th Grade girls' Bible class

Grace Christian Academy is the only school Ashley, Emily, Mabry and Kate have ever known. It's in the only church they've ever gone to and their daddy is one of the pastors. Talk about safe. Talk about sentimental... That place is home to our family. Those people are our family.

Ashley started Kindergarten the day the school opened its doors. If she stayed, she'd be the first graduating girl to attend that school all 13 years. But not now....

We said our goodbyes as the halls were loud and packed with parents and tiny siblings. The classrooms smelled like sugar and half the students were in Christmas Pajamas. Everyone was saying goodbye for Christmas break while we said goodbye, forever. Just when I would think I had it together, I'd see another loved teacher and the tears would flow again. 

Jake surprised the big girls and took them to see Star Wars to help soften the sting. I'm so grateful he did. I think it helped a lot. For a little while. At least it's given them something to think about. I'm all about processing the emotions but tween girls have a special gift for dwelling on things to the point of unhealthy. So now we can divert to theories about Rey and we find excitement and smiles again. ;)

OUR HOUSE HERE

Since this post, our Christmas tree took on a transformation. Mid-Christmas our house went under contract. I'd originally tried to keep it de-personalized (as much as such a personal thing can be) for showings. But once we had a buyer, I packed up my elegant ornaments and hauled out the special ones. The homemade and well loved ones. Much to the kids' excitement, the tree transformed into our familiar family Christmas tree. Laminated handprints and all. I'll never forget the year our tree started out beautiful and unfamiliar and ended familiar but even more beautiful.

OUR HOUSE THERE

We made a day trip out to Knoxville the day after school let out so the kids (and Jake's parents and brother came along) could see our new home for the first time. It was sweet. And loud. And I think maybe our real estate agent is afraid of us now. Anyway, it was a fun time getting to see them explore. Now they can put a picture to the end goal of the not-so-fun weeks of packing ahead. 

HOSPITAL

What would the holidays for a large family be without at least one trip to the ER? Micah was running around chasing the kids and fell, hitting the back of his head on a side table, landing him in the ER with two staples which will need to be removed the beginning of January. So yeah, there was that.

Buddy. :(

FAMILY

We were blessed to see lots of family this year. We had "4 Christmas'." Christmas morning with just the 8 of us, then Christmas with Jake's family, a day with my moms' side and today we had Christmas with my dad and stepmom. Each time was so special and sweet. And each had it's own yummy meal- much to the detriment of my waistline. Thankfully, Dad and Margie got us a Ninja for Christmas so if you see me eating or drinking anything but a green smoothie for the next month, smack me. #accountability #pleaseandthankyou

Dad and Margie with all their grandbabies 

I got to see my brother, whom I generally only see for Christmas. This year it was surprisingly bittersweet because he's reminding me more every year of our Papaw who is with Jesus. And actually the last time I saw Papaw was with my brother, on Christmas Day 2012. Whew. Bittersweet. 

~~~

Through all the good, the hard and the bittersweet, we lived. Christmas 2015 is in the books. And while the kids are all preoccupied with their new toys, I'm getting my type A on. Planning how to get this house packed and this family of 8 across the state in one piece. 

Because come 2016, it's time for a new adventure. 

Our House: the Before and Afters

I love my house. But I didn't always.

When we found this house, it was NA.STY. Actually it was like, ugly and nasty. It was a foreclosure and all the lovely things that can come along with that. On top of the royal blue carpets in the entire house, the walls were mauve, burgundy, plum, royal blue (yes with royal blue carpets) and dirty painters white. Most of the light fixtures were ripped out along with a few appliances. The carpets were dirty with clumps of hair and spilled bottles of soap and random laundry strewn around. And things in the toilet we shall not speak of. Actually, lets just not talk about it anymore.

I was 8 months pregnant with #6. But instead of feeding my nesting needs, we were temporarily homeless. And instead of a pretty, clean space to prepare, we had to replace carpets, have the whole house painted and cleaned. It was not my dream scenario for bringing our last child into the world.

Married women, can I just chat with you for a minute? A serious chat. Sometimes, you won't be in your right mind. You'll be hormonal or spent or both. And when you are in a place where your brain cannot and should not make decisions, let your husband do it. You made him the head of your house when you married him, so trust him. Even if he gets it wrong, its ok. Sometimes he'll get it right. REALLY right. I was a little bit appalled by this house but I knew in my heart that I was not in a good place to be hearing from the Lord. And I knew my husband was really pressing in for an answer from Him. So when he said he thought we should do it, I submitted. I know that word makes some of you cringe a little. But if you are married to a man who walks with the Lord, trust that God speaks to him. If I had it my way I maybe would have passed on this house because it looked like too much work. I'm so thankful that I trusted the Lord by trusting my husband. Jake heard from God on the matter of this house. And God gives His kids good gifts. So we bought the house.

Some of the things we've done to this house happened right away (before we even moved in) and some happened much later.

Without further adieu, our house of 4 1/2 years, before and after.

BEFORE

That's Me. And Kate. :)

Very pregnant.

AFTER:

Ok so not much change there. But wait...

BEFORE:

AFTER:

Boom.

BEFORE:

There's that lovely royal blue...

AFTER:

Ahh!! Right?!

BEFORE:

AFTER:

We matched the hardwood that ran through the hall and kitchen and had it put in this office,
the formal dining room, and formal living room.

BEFORE:

Its hard to see, but that is Burgundy paint.

AFTER (but from a different direction, its the same hall):

BEFORE:

AFTER:

BEFORE:

AFTER:

If we had stayed longer, I wanted to add cabinets in here.
Can't win 'em all. :)

BEFORE:

AFTER:

BEFORE:

AFTER:

BEFORE: 

AFTER:

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AFTER:

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AFTER:

No more glass doors. Unless you like to break your back while bathing small children.

And one more of the kitchen because I love it so much:

BEFORE:

AFTER!!:

There you have it. That's my home guys. Mostly just new paint, carpet and hardwoods. But the transformation will always be a reminder of the goodness of the Lord if I submit to Him (sometimes via submitting to my husband).

The one we are buying in Knoxville is new construction. Which makes my heart so happy! We've never had a new construction home and it will be so wonderful to move and be able to throw our energy into our growing church without worrying about our home. God is so good to us.

~~~

The "after" pictures are obviously insanely better quality than the before's. If you are in the Middle Tennessee area, I just can't recommend enough- our friends the Winters and their business Homepixmedia. We also have an incredible real estate agent (and beloved friend), Jenny Fann, selling our home. She's amazing to work with and we highly recommend her as well!!