Because we're selling the house

Sometimes when the kids are on break, I wake up early with that panic feeling that we overslept and they're going to be late for school. Sort of the same feeling I used to get just a few short years ago when I would wake up on my own (as in, not by a baby) in panic that my baby missed a feeding. I'm curious if there's a parenting phase where waking up on your own doesn't cause panic...

But after I jolted up this morning, I had to remind myself. The kids are on break... Yesterday we had a wonderful Thanksgiving... Today Jake wants to put in an offer on the Knoxville house... Grannie is in town and we're meeting her and mom... We have a house showing at 10:30... {pausing to listen for kids}... And the kids are already up and destroying their room... Resume panic. Because we're selling the house!!

But first, coffee.

After my cup of coffee and a not-so-quiet time with the Lord, it was go time. I got myself, the kids, and the house cleaned up. In that order. With 6 cats, I mean kids, it works best in that order. 

Most of the day was fairly successful. Fairly successful...

*sigh* 

This House

I'm not sure there is a way to keep this house clean, the children in line and be nice. I'm just sayin. I feel like a crazy woman barking out orders and trying to juggle 43.7 things at the same time. Because we're selling the house, I have to go overboard with all cleaning/toy pickup efforts. Its only been a week and a half and I'm already tired.

The New House

Jake is amazing to take care of things on that end. He keeps me in the loop even when I know it would be easier just to make executive decisions and keep moving. He stops to consider important things, where I would just make an impulsive choice. He's doing all of this while trying to build new relationships and a new church, launch a website, and prepare a sermon for like, oohhh two days from now. No big deal. *note sarcasm* 

And I know when I am focused, the kids nagging and arguing is like a drum that beats on my last nerve. But he's been so patient. Oh and he got Christmas tree today. *sigh* He's super man. I have to remind myself that's a good thing and it doesn't make me lamer. (I just made up that word.)

The Kids

One of my children, who I'm sure wishes to remain nameless, is struggling. Not constantly. But little things like where we put the Christmas tree (because we're showing the house) and how few decorations we bring out (because we're showing the house) and how we aren't hanging stockings yet (because we're showing the house)... these things are difficult for her. And while she does her best to process and move on, I can see that in her mind, all these things relate back to one thing/problem. You guessed it. We're selling the house. 

The Emotions

Just when I think I've successfully juggled all the balls... 

I cleaned the kids.

I cleaned the house.

We lived through Cracker Barrell, only made a little bit of a scene.

I got to talk to Grannie... some.

After lunch, we set up a Christmas tree.

We went over the house offer to be sure it all looks good.

I went over the budget-- because, holidays. And kids. And because we're selling the house.

I did my best to meet the emotional needs of my child/children who are struggling today.

I decorated the house for Christmas.

I/we decorated the Christmas tree.

And...

Because we're showing the house, I didn't use our crazy brightly colored ornaments-- the ones with Popsicle sticks and finger paints and names in sharpie. Instead I pulled out the ornaments from the first couple of Christmas' we were married. The pretty amber colored ball ornaments I registered for. And I pulled out the blown glass ovals I bought myself before we were married and the metal, porcelain and glass angels I used to collect. 

I was doing it because we're showing the house. And as I told Jake my plan, my voice caught in my throat. The sentimentality of those ornaments and the weight of the day sank in and I just cried.

Because we're selling the house.

~~~

Hopefully tomorrow we'll hear if our offer has been accepted or if there's a counter offer. So when I wake up I'm going to remind myself that its going to be an awesome day. Full of potential. Possibly some showings. Possibly some chaos. Possibly some emotion. And then I'm going to drink my coffee and have some not-so-quiet time and give thanks to God because He's called us into relationship with Him.

Jake, myself, the kids... we aren't doing this alone. He's walking with us through the showings, with us through the chaos, with us through the emotion. In these days between Thanksgiving and Christmas I want to reach out with each hand and touch the reminders of both: to give thanks  because Emmanuel means God with us. He called us to do this thing and He didn't mean do it alone. 

I want to surrender every moment and walk every step with the Lord. Therefore, I will not be overcome with the little things or the big ones. Because we're selling the house.