Well, recently I've really been feeling every. one. of those sides. I'm a wife and I'm a mom. I'm an adoption advocate, adoptive parent, chauffeur, chef, crafter, cousin, granddaughter, daughter, daughter-in-law, sister, sister-in-law, friend, home economist, maid, and member of the DS community. And by the grace of God I am, above all, a child of God.
I think I'll keep the name.
The following should probably all be separate posts. But its all in my head at one time on any given day, so that's how I'm writing it.
Ashley and Emily are getting older and more mature every day. At their last doctors check-up, we talked about Ashley and uh... "girl stuff" being just a few years away. Things to watch for, how to handle it. Oh I'm not ready for that phase yet! Can we all just take a deep breath and slow this ride down?!
I've been talking with friends about our hopes and goals in parenting our precious children through the next several years. I don't want to miss even one of the very many teachable moments, training my girls to be ladies. Women of God. These years are so crucial. I want my kids to know they can talk to me about anything. I want to help them grow spiritually. I'm fully confident that I'm raising children in the end times and they need to be firm in their faith, able to rightly divide truth from lies. Sound biblical doctrine from the twisted things the world will throw at them. And I want to rally with other parents who feel the same way, to raise these warriors together. This is not for the faint of heart!
Meanwhile... recently I find that I could spend hours scouring my special needs and Down Syndrome boards online. Trying to figure out if things Micah and Abby are going through are common.
Does anyone else's kids have these screaming/grunting fits? Does anyone else's kids try to escape? Is it "normal" for kids with Down Syndrome to have this difficult of a time potty training?
Everyone talks about how kids with DS are just the sweetest angels who are "otherworldly" and kind to everyone they meet. And don't get me wrong, Micah has a capacity to forgive that blows my mind. And Abby holds no prejudice, she can tell within seconds if someone is a genuinely kind person and will greet people with hugs that come from straight from her heart! But they also get angry, yell, don't want to share, push, hit, and are probably the most stubborn people in this house! (And if you know me, that's saying a lot.) :) Besides some physical and speech delays, they really are no different than anyone else.
But I constantly wonder- should I be disciplining them any differently? Should I be more sensitive? Do they get enough therapy for their needs? Am I doing something wrong?? Could I be doing something more??? *sigh* My mind could be full-time busy just navigating this road of parenting children with Downs.
Then there's the adoption stuff. MAN is my heart burdened in this area. If I had time, I would dive head first into this ministry. I've started a little group for the families at our church. I don't have a lot of time, or resources, just a strong desire to connect people. A desire to support adopting families and to encourage those who are home.
There are millions of orphans in this world. Children with no one to love, protect, and teach them. What will become of these kids? Lets just say the statistics are not good. If Jesus is the answer, and we are his hands and feet, where does that put me? I want to do something! Do you know how many kids are in my own county right now, in the vicious cycle of the foster system? Did you know most of them have to be housed out side of the county because there aren't enough foster families here? I could actually burst into tears right now just thinking about it. *BIG sigh*
As for my babies. I decided to really go full force potty training Abby and Mabry this week. (Because, ya know, I don't have enough on my plate this summer.) But literally- Mabry potty trained in one day. She has not had one single accident (aside from a wet pull up in the morning or after naps, which I don't count). I'm so proud of her! And Kate is so close to walking. Both of them are talking more and more every day. They are such cute, squishy girls and they just melt me with their adorable little smiles and personalities. Even Ashley will say, "Mom, Kate is just so cute, I can't stand it!" I mean, they are little and they have their moments and fits, but seriously, they are sunshine to everyone in this house. I could squish, kiss, tickle and play peek-a-boo all. day. long. AAHH! I love them so much it hurts!
Aaaaand, my husband. He has so much going on and he needs to come home to a
Did I mention I'm leaving for the Dominican Republic next week? Ashley, Emily and I are accompanying Jake and all the youth kids and leaders on the summer missions trip. Only we'll be staying with Jake's parents. (We've divvied up the 4 littles to some precious friends who are helping us out.) I'm so excited for Ashley and Emily to have a taste of another country, less fortunate than this lavish life we lead. But its been difficult to prepare them because, on one hand, this is Grandma and Grandpa's house. On the other hand, its the mission field. Its it's own unique thing, I guess.
Anyway, my mind is swimming trying to make packing lists and instructions for all four. Micah is his own world of instructions. ABBY is her own world of instructions. Then there's the babies with all of their gear.... Bottles, sippy cups, diapers (just for Kate, whoo hoo!), toys, doses for Tylenol, emergency contacts, medical releases. Then there's the packing for us... passports, copies of passports, books for the flight.... gonna have to weigh the bags to keep them under whatever the weight limit is... I'm nervous about customs with a 7 and 8 year old, just remembering how miserable it was going to Ukraine. And that was just me and Jake. But at least we'll be with a bunch of youth leaders and like 40 high schoolers. That should be fun. ;)
Back to my point. Or was there one? Oh right, the many sides.
Anyway, on top of all of this, the laundry and dishes in this house require so much care, I feel like I should mention them as a part of our family. Its like some crazy monster... if I threaten to break off a limb or two, he grows back 4 more. Where does it come from?! And Praise God for homemade laundry detergent, I'm loving that stuff. But ya know, every time I load the washing machine or dish washer, I try to remind myself that I could be hand washing all of this. Suddenly I don't mind so much. :)
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I hope this whole post doesn't sound like complaining. I'm just... chronicling all of it. :) These are the many sides of me. Each a completely precious and sacred area of my life. I would never trade any of it away. I just have to find the balance in it all. And daily lay it before Jesus. These kids are his kids. Down Syndrome is no mystery to Him. Orphan care is closer to His heart than it is to mine. And I am doing what he created me to do. When you boil it all down, I'm Amy. Wife, mom, sinner saved by grace.
You shall increase my greatness, and comfort me on every side. (Ps. 71:21)
My flesh and my heart fail;But God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. (Ps.73:26)
