Transforming

This one.




My firstborn. She gives me a run for my money.

She's smart but she thinks she knows more than I do.
She's kind but easily annoyed.
She's joyful but tears can come in the blink of an eye.
She loves the Lord but she has some deep questions that she wrestles through.
She's the oldest but she's not the mom.
She's not a little girl but she's also not a teenager. 

She's my tween. I didn't realize how literal that term would be.

I'm usually too hard on her. I'll readily admit it. It comes from a good place in my heart-- I want my children to have a standard of obedience and respect. But the Father is so good to gently remind me that she's His before she's mine. She needs me to be a Godly mother that extends grace as lavishly as its extended to me. There are consequences. And there is grace. I'm still learning. We both are.

She needs me to listen to the many many many many many many things that she has to say. She needs me to laugh at her jokes and tell her that she's beautiful. She needs me to be on her team and in her corner at all times

I'm still figuring out how to navigate the drama, the strong will, the forgetfulness, the insecurities and the eagerness to please. When I know that she gets all of that from me.

"Mom the girls double dog dared me to straighten my hair for the last day of school."
Oh, well then, that's serious. It must be done.
"I mean, we haven't straightened my hair since third grade!"
FOREVER ago.
And... 'we'??

Ashley has gorgeous curly hair. Its as wild and bouncy as she is. But like almost all young girls with curly hair, she hates it. She'd rather it be sleek and straight. But Ashley's hair doesn't like to be straight. It curls from the very root. When I flat iron it, long strands will twist and wave in defiance right after I straighten them. Much like the little girl who carries them.

So this morning, while the house was still dark and quiet, we stood together and I slowly and methodically straightened every strand. She sat on a stool and waited patiently. She winced when the heat came to close to her ears or face. She couldn't wait to look in the mirror when it was done and see the transformation. 



And the Lord reminded me once again, that He is the one shaping us both. Mother and daughter alike. He'll use us if we put ourselves in His hands. It takes surrender. It takes patience. There will be heat, but there will be transformation. 

Today, her new do won't last long. But I'm prayerful that the work that the Lord is doing in her life runs deep.

I'm really not the one straightening her out at all. He is. He's straightening where its needed and making a beautiful thing of the curls. He's masterfully creating and molding that sweet girl into exactly who He wants her to be. 

He's transforming me too.

And today I'm thankful for the promise that He will continue His work until the day of Christ Jesus.

But we all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as by the Spirit of the Lord. 2 Cor. 3:18

And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns. Philippians 1:6


Fiery Pineapple

I love color. 

I love the way color can draw your attention and evoke emotions. Color is all around us, but the beauty is "in the eye of the beholder" as they say. 

In high school one of my favorite songs was "Deep enough to dream" by Chris Rice. The thought of seeing new colors in heaven was absolutely captivating to me. Even now it makes my breath catch in my chest.

Its random but love the names of colors too and how they usually relate back to nature. After all, they were His to start with. Every color has a name that helps capture it and I love figuring them out. A few years ago at a women's retreat, each woman got a journal that was a sweet shade of orange but I couldn't quite name it. It was sort of a dreamsicle color but much softer. My best friend said "It's cantaloupe." I joked, "This is why I love you!!!!!!" It's a silly thing, but a perfectly named color just makes my heart happy. My living room is glacier blue and my bedroom curtains are the perfect shade of cayenne pepper. And all is right with the world. ;) 

The Lord uses color to speak to me. It's probably why I love it so much. I have lots of stories of this but the one this week made my heart soar and I have to share.

It was a typical weekday afternoon and I was driving the mom taxi. A suburban half full of squirmy kids; on my way to fill up the rest of the seats.

I had Micah, Abby and Kate and they all insisted on sitting together on the back row. They were having conversation that you would expect from 3 kids of their age and development. Intense debates about things like who loves Daddy more.

The conversation ended as they watched the Tennessee hills whiz past the Suburban windows.

And with full confidence, Kate slowly proclaims, "Je-jus loves... all of us."

That alone would have been enough to warm my heart but I'm telling you... with timing that only the Lord could orchestrate (and one of those moments that seems to pass in slow motion) we passed under a huge tree, hanging over the road: a breathtaking shade of fiery, pineapple-y yellow. And it almost glowed as the sunlight shone through it. Not a single leaf on this tree was brown, nor still green. It. was. Gorgeous. It was God speaking. He was shouting a confirmation of what came from my 3 year old's lips.

The heavens declare the glory of God and the firmament shows His handiwork. Psalm 19:1

"He sure does Kate. Jesus loves us."

I can't tell you how many times I've seen this color since that day. In friends' clothing, in mums at the grocery store, even in my own fall decorating. People would say it's one of those things... like once you buy a car you see it everywhere... but I know in my heart that every time I see this crazy gorgeous fall yellow: its the Lord telling me that I'm loved. He's winking. "Don't forget. I love you."

I wanted to take a picture to remember it forever but I was... ya know, driving. Kids. And honestly, it was too sacred to capture anyway. It was my love note. My wink. This picture was the closest thing I could find to share a little piece of the glory with you, but even it doesn't fully capture...


Photo Credit

How does the Lord wink at you? I've heard some people say He winks through things like butterflies or pennies.... but my God winks are colors. Sometimes it means different things- confirmation of decisions, peace when I need it, or just sweet nothings. Its our language, me and the Lord.

Can I just encourage you for a minute? 

God loves His kids. It's confirmed in scripture again and again. If it were only you left in the world, He still would have sent His Son to die so that you could be with Him in Heaven. And can you imagine if you were trying to tell the person that you loved, how much you love them but they weren't paying attention? 

Seek out the Lord this week. Ask Him to open your eyes to they ways He might want to speak to you. I would venture to say that daily, you'll find that He's softly... and sweetly... whispering His love for you.

Will You not bring us back to life once more
so that we, Your people, will find joy and pleasure in You?
O Eternal One, show us Your unfailing love;
give us what we truly need: Your salvation.
I will hear what the True God--the Eternal--will say,
for He will speak peace over His people,
peace over those who faithfully follow Him...
Psalm 58:6-8a (The Voice translation)

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