He knows.

Well, today is another beach day for Pavel Micah so we have no plans and not much to do until 4:00. I just finished a bowl of cheerios that we bought at the store last night and even though the milk came in a carton that was not previously COLD which was a little concerning... it was actually pretty good. :) Jake is sleeping in (I know, who Jake?! lol) and I'm sitting here checking email and reading blogs and reflecting on our lives at the moment. I am IN Ukraine. Adopting. I'm 26. And I'm pregnant. With our FOURTH daughter. My mom said in an email the other day not to worry about the kids at home, just to worry about my two babies here. :) And it really hit me- two of my FIVE kids are right here with me. I don't know either of them very well yet, but they are both IN my heart every bit as much as my other three.

Part of me wonders, "how did I get here?". And the other part laughs because its a silly question. The Lord has brought us here. HE CHOSE Pavel for us. He chose every one of our kids. He knew Ashley long before we were in the delivery room thinking I was about to give birth to a Jordan Elliot. He knew. And He knew Emily long before we brought her home and that little peanut STOLE my heart and I was immediately wrapped around her little finger forever. He knew. :) He knew that Abby had three chromosomes long before WE knew we'd have three kids in 4 years. He knew it would rock my world and I'd learn things and meet people and go places I never would have otherwise. He knew. He knew that when I was 37 weeks pregnant with Emily a little boy was born on the other side of the world who's mommy would give him up because SHE didn't know and that almost exactly four years later, he would become a Spencer. He knew. He knew that this baby in my womb was coming and was a girl long before we signed up to adopt two little boys with Ds.

I love that my life is in His hands. May it never be any other way. And its because I know that He knows... that I have faith, that I have strength, that I TRUST that everything is working out according to His purpose.

I still don't know a court date. I still don't know what we're going to call Pavel. I still don't know what we're going to name this baby. I still don't know when we're coming home. I still don't know if this whole adoption is going to fall through. I still don't really know if this baby has Ds too. I don't know if my kids will follow Christ as adults and I don't know if I'm guarentee'd tomorrow.

But He knows. :) And you know what? That's enough for me.