Are you aware?

If you're here because it's Down Syndrome Awareness Month, thank you!! Please click on the tab above "down syndrome" for 31 facts.

Or to read more about my life as a mom of two sweet kiddos with Down syndrome, click on "Parent of kids with DS" under "The Sides" on the right sidebar.

Can't keep a good man down

Yesterday my little buddy went in to have his tonsils and adenoids out.

Micah has had crazy large tonsils. This summer he had a sleep study done which showed that he had severely obstructive sleep apnea. This child snores louder than a grown man, tosses all night and apparently his oxygen was dropping to 85.

So yesterday was his surgery to have it all removed. The doctor told Jake after surgery that his tonsils were blocking 50% and his adenoids 60%. Poor kid!

I was able to visit him for a couple hours post-op, but because Micah is such a daddy's boy, Jake stayed with him the whole time. I ran the kids to and from school, praying all the way... and my sweet friend brought us dinner because my brain couldn't think about anything but my baby boy in the hospital.

Micah did pretty good yesterday, he slept off most of it. His heart rate and oxygen were both a little low, but nothing too concerning. He stayed overnight because that's pretty much standard for kids with Down Syndrome. But Jake said that since he slept all day he was up a lot last night.

Now, if you know Micah, he is very independent. He doesn't like things to be done for him, he wants to be treated like any 10 year old (going on 30). The nurse came in early, early this morning and told Jake that they were going to start getting him ready to go including removing his IV, etc. After she left, Jake dozed off. When she came back, Micah had quietly removed the big hard sleeve that covers his cords, removed the IVs, laid them all out neatly on the bed and was covered up laying down again. Ha!! She told him, "Buddy, next time you have to let me do it!" Then Jake went into the restroom to clean up and get dressed and when he came out, Micah had gotten himself dressed down to his socks and shoes. Sweet guy was ready to go home!

I was so happy to have my boys home. I made them some breakfast and turned on a movie for Micah. Then I left them to run and get Micah's prescription. When I got home, Jake was upstairs getting ready for work and Micah was in the kitchen-- unloading the dishwasher. "Dude! You don't have to do that! Go lay down buddy!" I said. He shook his head "no," and waved me off to the other room while he finished.

He's going to be on some heavy duty meds at least until Thursday. I think my biggest challenges are going to be keeping him hydrated and keeping him from overdoing it!

Next up, Abby Grace at the end of September! But I have a feeling my little diva princess will be on the couch milking it for as long as she can.  ♥

Gray Patches

At first I thought it was the angle and reflection of the lighting in my bathroom.

Or hey, it's summer. We go to the pool all the time. Maybe it's just a little natural streaking from the sun. My girls all have that.

It could also be the white blonde of my childhood coming back.... 

No wait. It's the dry shampoo. Yep. That's it. Need to find a better brand that doesn't leave my hair white.

Then one night as we were having dinner, the kids and I were teasing Jake about how much gray is in his beard now. Then my loving husband turned the finger back around and pointed out ... I've got not only a gray hair, but a whole patch of gray.

What. In. The. World. I'm going gray.

I'm not a part of the selfie generation so excuse the poor quality. I feel I should get points for even telling you about it much less trying to capture it in a picture. But that, my friends, is a section of white strands.

I'm telling you what. If stress causes gray hair (because I'm certainly not old enough to start having gray *wink*), I know what caused mine. His name is Micah.

~~~

On the fourth of July our culdesac was packed. Kids of all ages on bikes and scooters. Some of the usual faces and some added friends and family visiting for the 4th. The air smelled like BBQ and the sky was faintly smokey from the nearby neighbors pre-testing fireworks. All the kids had on some sort of red, white or blue and were excited about the festivities to come.

Late in the afternoon I called all my kids in. I couldn't watch them anymore because I needed to make dinner so we brought the toys in, closed the garage door and they all crashed in the living room. At some point we heard the garage door open again. I looked up to see who it was and one of the kids said it was Emily getting something from the car. I didn't think much of it and went back to cooking.

A short while later came an aggressive knock at the door. I ran to open it and it was a neighbor from down the street... There to return my son.

I wasn't sure if I wanted to throw up or cry. My son with special needs was gone and I didn't even know it. I wanted to crawl in a hole. To shut down my blog, turn in my PTO membership, resign from the church women's board, close my FB account and hand in my proverbial mom card. All I could think was, I am a failure as a mother.

Micah isn't like just any child. He has Down Syndrome but what's more, he is nonverbal. He can make some sounds but he can't even say is own name. And when he's not in the midst of his structured routine, he gets-- distracted. Unfocused. That's the best I can describe it. But he's also extremely smart and understands everything he hears. A lot of kids who are "flight risks" have autism, but Micah doesn't. He's just very curious, headstrong and he can figure out how to get himself into a variety of messes, he just can't figure out how to get out of them. There's just no telling what would have happened if that neighbor hadn't recognized him.

The nightmarish "what ifs" and the never ending "if only I'd".... I won't even go through them now. I won't speak them out now because the path of "what ifs" only leads to self-condemnation, depression  and fear. That day is over now. God protected him. Thank you God for protecting him.

He hasn't wandered in years. He used to. But he hasn't even tried in a long long time. The best I can figure is that the friends in the culdesac cleared and he went to find them for more playtime. And since he can't ask me, he didn't.

So the very next day, I ordered this.

He used to have a metal ID bracelet (Abby still has hers) with his name and my number on it. But he broke the chain and I hadn't replaced it yet. (Another if only...) I found this one on FB and it has room for so much more information and it's more comfortable. Abby is still fine with her chain, so we'll keep it for now. But this will be what we order for her next.

Nothing will EVER replace the watchful eye we have to keep on Micah (or any of our kids for that matter, of course!) but in an emergency situation, I know he'll have the information he needs on his person. That bracelet is now a part of my son, 24/7.

~~~

The funny thing about my little patch of gray is that it's usually hidden. It's under my side swept bangs. I have to pull them back to see it. I'm not even intentionally hiding it, that's just where it is.

The funny thing about the stress on parents of children with special needs is that it's usually hidden. We're just making ourselves presentable, we don't even do it intentionally. "More alike than different" as the World Down Syndrome Motto goes, and it's true. But what's hidden underneath is the gray patch. The tell-tale sign of worry, stress, exhaustion over our children. 

And you know, we wouldn't have it any other way.

If I continue to strive and fight for my kids, they'll reach higher goals, live better lives. I'm never going to stop striving. If I am continually on my toes, I can better protect my children. Forbid that I ever let my guard down. We don't even have a choice. We will fight and protect. Its what we do. But all the fight, all the protecting, leaves us with a feathery, snow white patch of premature aging. Beautiful strands of wisdom for tomorrow. We've earned it, friends. Actually, I think I might start wearing my hair back more. 

~~~





If you or someone you know has a child that wanders, here are some resources I've found. Thankfully there's a lot out there now, but these are some that I have personally heard testimonials about. I hope this helps you narrow down your own search for a product that fits you and your child(ren). And if you have a product that helps your family, please feel free to share it in the comments below. Lastly, I encourage you to find a church group, other special needs parents from school or work, FB groups, whatever- to walk this parenting thing out with you. Don't keep hiding the gray and doing it alone.

1) Safe Baby
For my local friends. We knew from Day 1 with Micah that he was a wanderer so we had our friend Buck at Safe Baby come do "the works" to each of the houses we've lived in since he's been home. Child safety locks on the doors, baby gates, whatever was necessary to keep the kids in and safe.

2) Alert Me Bands Bracelet
This is what Micah has (photo above) and we plan to buy one for Abby next. Its low cost (abo $26), fits a ton of information, he can't get it off and it does have cute dinosaurs (a print I chose) but his wrist is so small, we had to tighten it too much for the print to show.

3) Make Me This Bracelet
I bought Micah and Abby each one of these. Its a metal ID bracelet with a design on the front and their information inside. Micah did break his but after a couple of years of wear. Abbys is still going strong, occasionally I check to make sure the inscription has't worn flat. For $9.95 you can't beat it.

4) If I Need Help QR Code in a variety of forms
This is a service that creates a personal data base and a QR code that can be purchased on a shoe tag, ID card, window cling, dog tags, you name it! In an emergency, anyone with a smart phone can scan the QR code and pull up any critical information that you would want them to have.

5) Amber Alert GPS Wearable GPS system
There are several child GPS systems but if we ever have the resources, I'd chose this one. The features take full advantage of modern technology for peace of mind for parents like us. 

A letter to my daughters about makeup

I have 5 girls.

FIVE. Girls.

Ages 4 to {almost} 12. Kate will always be the baby but she's no longer a baby. Ashley will always be the oldest but she's not yet a teenager. Which means there are five. kid. girls.

Mostly, we're nicely balanced by Micah and Daddy but some days I feel like we're all going to be washed out the door in a wave of lipgloss, glitter spray and cheap strawberry shortcake scented nail polish.

Its a constant goal of mine to live in the moment but plan for the future. So I enjoy being the one to fix their hair and paint their little nails as long as I can. But there's an awareness in the back of my head that someday I'm going to have five. teenage. girls. Pray for me.

And specifically on the point of makeup, I have several things I want to say to them. My oldest will be in middle school this year and is thrilled at the thought of wearing even a teenie bit of makeup. So I'm printing this letter for her and making copies for each of my girls down the road. We do/will have lots of ongoing conversation on this stuff too but I want them to have this reminder to tuck in their rooms and remember. For you like-minded moms of girls, I hope this helps get you started with your own conversations. And God speed. ;)

"Sweet girl,

Ok, lets talk makeup.

I love makeup. But you already know that. Maybe its the artist in me but I love the colors and the brushes and the creams... Its so much fun!

And you should know that you come from a long line of makeup loving southern women who never left the house "without my face on". ;) I used to sit and watch Nana brush mascara into those long lashes of hers and pay attention when she'd tell me that "eye liner should only go in the outer third of your bottom lashline." Grannie knows every woman at the beauty counter by name and I would always gladly receive the little Clinique freebies she'd give me, even after I was married and having children. It's a given among the women in my family that if a shade you purchased doesn't work for you, you better pass it along for one of the rest of us to try. And if it does work, we want to know it!

And even back to your great great grandmother, Victoria-- there are stories of her religiously taking off her makeup at night and slathering her face in cold cream or vaseline. Legend has it, she never had a wrinkle. ;) 

Makeup is fun. I don't mind for you to try new things and play around with it. Sticking as close as possible to the color palette that God gave you in your own tones will always be prettiest. Some friends might encourage you to wear more makeup. And some might even tell you that its bad to wear makeup.

But here's the deal.

What I always want you to remember is that true beauty comes from your spirit. Being in the Lords presence will make you radiate in a way that no makeup can.

"...let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious." 1 Peter 3:4

Does makeup make you physically prettier? It can, yes, if done right. 

Are you already beautiful on the outside? Of course. 

Do you need makeup? Absolutely not. 

Is it wrong to wear make up? Not if your heart is in the right place.

As with anything, you need to keep your heart in check first. Am I ok with my appearance with no makeup? Is my identity solely in Christ and not how blonde my eyelashes are or how many pimples are on my face?

If those things are in check, by all means, have fun with it. Use it to make those blue eyes pop and to give you more confidence when you've got a huge blemish on your forehead. Shiny up those lips, girly. :)

Just remember that there is no amount of makeup that can cover an ugly heart or a bad attitude. And no amount of blush or shimmer can make you shine like a right spirit with the Lord, who's confidence is in Christ.

"Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised." Prov. 31:30

"Do all things without grumbling or disputing, that you may be blameless and innocent, children of God without blemish in the midst of a crooked and twisted generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world." Phil. 2:14-15

Also, makeup should not, will not (nor should you want it to) change your face. Only accentuate it. Your face is a distinctly beautiful mix of features that are inherited from both sides of our family. Makeup should celebrate those features, not hide them. 

Ads and photos of models and celebrities are photoshopped and fake. Those women aren't real and don't define beauty. The only perfect is you in the mirror. You are perfect the way God made you.

"You are altogether beautiful, my love; there is no flaw in you." Song of Sol. 4:7

Lastly, I need to say this. Sometimes makeup can make young girls look older than they really are. And its my job and Daddy's to protect you while you're under our covering. So please respect our opinion if we suggest that something is too dark, to bright, or just too much. We aren't trying to be mean. We want you to slow down and be the age you are. Wearing makeup will be a privilege that grows as we see that you can use it properly. And if you're not sure about something, just come ask me. It won't be long before you'll be the one telling me, "Mom, this mascara is way better, try this one." ;)

You are fearfully and wonderfully made. I want you to enjoy your pre-teen/teenage years. Have fun, be smart, be responsible and show the world the Christ that's in you. Makeup is great. But its just a thing. Make sure that thing is in its proper place.

"I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made." Psalm 139:14

"Let no one despise you for your youth, but set the believers an example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity." I Tim. 4:12

Beautiful girl, I love you with all my heart and I am for you, always.

Love,

Mom

Back to school business

What I'm about to share with you... well it is kind of embarrassing. I think I have perfected the art of saving time and money on local school supplies. No, I'm not super mom. No, I don't have it all together. I've just done this for several years and had to find a way to make it easier.

Call me old. Call me lame. But I'm preparing my family, being diligent with my time, being a good steward with the money my husband has earned, and fulfilling my inner nerd all at the same time.

And to help my fellow moms, on a tight budget, who are secretly nerdy, I'm sharing my process with you.

Make a master list

First I downloaded all 6 kids' school supply lists and combined them to a master list. 

I separated each line by:

Papers, Binders, Notebooks, Folders

Pencils, Crayons, Markers, Pens

Scissors, Glue, Etc.

Non School materials. (Like Clorox wipes and Ziploc Bags)

Doing this keeps me from cycling through 6 lists and makes it easier to find things while at the store. I've found that when you come back to the same Walmart aisle more than 7 or 8 times to look at the 5 million types of glue sticks, the employee's get concerned. 

I should also note that if a school supply list calls for a particular brand, I try to buy that. If it doesn't, I find the cheapest thing possible. I've helped teachers fill their cabinets on the first day of school before and felt really bad when my kid's pencil box was the only one that did't fit perfectly in the shelf with all the others. For the whole year. I also know that "washable" is a relative term for every brand except Crayola. Some of you don't care about this and are thinking, "buy the exact thing on the list? Ain't no body got time for that!" I hear ya. But this is how I roll.

Beside each item I have a row for each of my kids. It comes in handy when I'm determining something is for an older child or my preschooler. Ashley will want the last cheetah print pencil bag and Kate will want the Elsa one...

It only took me 30 minutes and is SOOO worth it. And pivotal to my weird process. Even if you only do this part, it helps a ton.

But the next part is my favorite.

Compare prices

I go to 4-6 local stores to compare prices. But its crazy easy and I can do it with all my kids. I might look like a crazy person, but lets face it. Have I ever been normal??

I take pictures. Not of everything. But if its something I remember from my list (and after typing it up, I usually remember a lot of it) I take a picture of the item with the price tag. If I'm not sure, I take a pic anyway. It takes seconds to fly through the aisles snapping pictures. And everyone knows that when you've got kids in tow, it all falls apart when you stop the cart. So keep moving and snap those pictures!

Plug in the prices

Again, this maybe took me 30 minutes at most. I had to suffer through sitting in my ugly/comfy recliner with a cup of coffee while I "worked". It was rough.

First on "Tab 2" of my master list excel file, I copy and paste my whole master list from Tab 1. Where the kids' names are, I go back through and put store names. Going through all the pictures from Dollar General, Kroger, Target and Walmart, I record the prices next to each item. Again, I don't have pictures of everything, but I try to get some key items and it gives me an idea of who's cheaper.

Now I can print this out and have a quick reference for what to buy where.

Shop

This weekend, sans kids, I'm going to hit up just a couple of those stores. This year, several items are cheaper at Dollar General and I've got a $ off your whole purchase coupon that will make it all even cheaper. Then (unless there is something just way cheaper somewhere else) I'll go to Walmart for the rest. Based on all the prices I plugged in, Walmart was cheapest across the board in my area this year.

Divide it up

Then I can use my master list go through and divvy out all my goods to the right kid!

~~~

If you think I'm crazy and are now afraid of me.... I'm ok with that. I've had seasons where this just sounded way overwhelming to me and I just needed to print the lists, go straight to Target, spend 6 hours in there and several hundred dollars later, be done with it. Like, seriously, I'm only kind of kidding.

But if you love this and you're going to try it, let me know!! I hope this encourages you that you can have a big ol family but still save time and money!

Now lets pretend that the time I saved wasn't just spend blogging. ;)

Goodnight Ruby

Late last night our family said a sad goodbye. Our little pet hamster Ruby didn't make it through the night. (Well, day. Her night.)

Ashley and Ruby about a year ago.

Thankfully Jake was home and was able to retrieve her from her cage where Ashley found her not moving. Silently and with many tears, Ashley, Emily and I stood in the back yard and watched as Daddy lovingly buried her. Ashley wrote a quick letter and buried it with her. It was late so today she's going to make a little stone to mark the grave.

It seems silly, it was just a hamster. But she was Ashley's. And well loved. We had a second hamster for a while, Mary Grace. But she was mean and we gave her away. Ruby was a sweet little thing- and that coming from someone who can't handle rodents.

Today as the world buzzes about confederate flags, ISIS, court rulings and shootings... The world of my 11 year old stops.

We're at a pivotal time, me and my "tweens". They're growing and maturing and it seems that every word and conversation shapes their individual images of our relationships. Am I friend, mother, confidant... Am I unrelatable, untrustworthy, insincere? All these things are like a bar graph that's ebbing and flowing with each new day but I can feel that with my oldest, the ebbing and flowing won't last long. Soon the bars are set. Her opinions formed, for better or worse. Maybe some will remain flexible but I can't risk it.  

So today as the world of my 11 year old stops, mine does too.

I've still got to buy groceries and make lunch and hit the uniform sale before its over... and she's not an only child. But my goal is set this morning before my beautiful, sleeping, closer-to-adulthood-than-toddlerhood girl awakes. I'll remain sensitive to silence, aware of the tears, and ever ready for hugs. I'm in her corner.

And I'm reminded how well the Father loves me. God is so good to hold me in the moments when my world stands still. Things that seem insignificant to others, that take my breath away. Those seasons when people passing around me have no idea what I'm walking through... but He knows. He sees and He gives me a peace that envelops my heart. Doesn't mean He stops working in other places. But the eternal God of the universe is as close as my breath, ready to love me and comfort me in my time of need.

God You are so good to us. Thank you Holy Spirit for being our Comforter. May I be Your hands and feet to my children today, especially the one hurting. And thank you for the time that we had with our little Ruby.