Goodnight Ruby

Late last night our family said a sad goodbye. Our little pet hamster Ruby didn't make it through the night. (Well, day. Her night.)

Ashley and Ruby about a year ago.

Thankfully Jake was home and was able to retrieve her from her cage where Ashley found her not moving. Silently and with many tears, Ashley, Emily and I stood in the back yard and watched as Daddy lovingly buried her. Ashley wrote a quick letter and buried it with her. It was late so today she's going to make a little stone to mark the grave.

It seems silly, it was just a hamster. But she was Ashley's. And well loved. We had a second hamster for a while, Mary Grace. But she was mean and we gave her away. Ruby was a sweet little thing- and that coming from someone who can't handle rodents.

Today as the world buzzes about confederate flags, ISIS, court rulings and shootings... The world of my 11 year old stops.

We're at a pivotal time, me and my "tweens". They're growing and maturing and it seems that every word and conversation shapes their individual images of our relationships. Am I friend, mother, confidant... Am I unrelatable, untrustworthy, insincere? All these things are like a bar graph that's ebbing and flowing with each new day but I can feel that with my oldest, the ebbing and flowing won't last long. Soon the bars are set. Her opinions formed, for better or worse. Maybe some will remain flexible but I can't risk it.  

So today as the world of my 11 year old stops, mine does too.

I've still got to buy groceries and make lunch and hit the uniform sale before its over... and she's not an only child. But my goal is set this morning before my beautiful, sleeping, closer-to-adulthood-than-toddlerhood girl awakes. I'll remain sensitive to silence, aware of the tears, and ever ready for hugs. I'm in her corner.

And I'm reminded how well the Father loves me. God is so good to hold me in the moments when my world stands still. Things that seem insignificant to others, that take my breath away. Those seasons when people passing around me have no idea what I'm walking through... but He knows. He sees and He gives me a peace that envelops my heart. Doesn't mean He stops working in other places. But the eternal God of the universe is as close as my breath, ready to love me and comfort me in my time of need.

God You are so good to us. Thank you Holy Spirit for being our Comforter. May I be Your hands and feet to my children today, especially the one hurting. And thank you for the time that we had with our little Ruby.