Eleven Years Ago Today

Eleven years ago today.... I was a 22 year old wife and mom of an almost 2 year old. And I was VERY pregnant with my second baby, 2 weeks out from my due date. The pregnancy was going well, much like my first one.

My first trimester was marked by nausea, it was all I could do to keep food down. And in my last trimester the doctor said my water was a little low. But I was also probably a little dehydrated. It was June after all.

My friends had just thrown me a sweet little baby shower. They went in together to get me matching bedding because my two little girls would be sharing a room. (I’ll never forget those beautiful pink and green Pottery Barn roses.)

I was thrilled that my little Ashley was going to have a sister. I would sing to my belly and rock my squirmy baby knowing that time was ticking until I could hold her in my arms.

Meanwhile on the other side of the world…

A 35 year old Ukrainian woman named Tatiana was in a hospital in Odessa in the final hours of labor. She was having her firstborn, a son. She was probably filled with excitement as every new mom is.

Maybe she had spent months fighting morning sickness. Maybe she was drinking tons of water to stay hydrated through her June due date. Maybe she had just had a baby shower, filling a nursery with blue. Maybe she would rock her belly and sing.

She was in a bit of a touristy vacation destination. So maybe she was on one last beach trip with her husband before becoming parents when the unexpected happened and her water broke.

Or it’s possible they lived there, wealthy enough to own a condo on the beach. Maybe she had her bags packed right by the door and as her husband lovingly timed her contractions, they decided it was time to go in.

But there she was, June 4, 2005, in the hospital. Each painful contraction would bring her a bit closer to seeing the face of her baby. But things took a drastic turn for the worst after he was born. The doctors announced for the first time that he had Down Syndrome. And fear set in.

I know that because fear makes people do crazy things. And Tatiana turned away her own son.

All I know for sure is that she told the doctors she would have aborted him if she had known. She spewed empty threats to sue the doctors. And in a final act of fear, she left him there. Tatiana and her husband told their families that he died at birth, and sent their lawyer back to pay his bills and confirm that they would never be contacted again. And that was the end of it.

That precious baby boy was taken to an orphanage where he would live without the love of a mother, a family. for four. long. years.

I’ve asked God many times over the years why He didn’t unite us sooner. And this side of Heaven, I won’t have an answer. I just squeeze MY son tight and pray it makes up for lost time. And I give glory to God that He is a redeemer who loves Micah, chose him to be ransomed into a wild family of girls, where he would be the only son. Where he gets to be Daddy’s only boy and the super hero protector to 5 sisters. His diagnosis doesn’t define him. It’s a small part of who he is. He is loved, cherished and adored.

It’s not always sunshine and roses. My heart didn’t immediately attach to him. But slowly, the grafting process happened. And now, my heart catches in my throat when he smiles. He’s mine. I get to be his mom. We get to be a part of his redemption story. The other kids get a picture of how God adopts us and grafts us in. He’s no different than they are. They’re all equally my babies.

Today I'm a 33 year old wife and mom of 6 kids ages 12, 11, 10, 9, 6 and 4.

Today, as we celebrate Micah's birthday, I have 4 specific prayers in my heart.

I pray for Tatiana. That her heart would be healed. If only I could show her how amazing he is. I pray that she would find Christ if she hasn’t already.

I pray that Micah’s story is a testament to the goodness of God. We serve a God who loves the least and the last. To give them a hope and a future. To set the lonely in families. We serve a God who redeems.

I pray that Down Syndrome awareness would grow. That women would be informed and not afraid when they receive that diagnosis. I wish I could look in the eyes of women who’s baby have Down Syndrome and tell them that it’s just a thing. Their baby has such a bright future if they will just embrace it and remember that they are your baby first.

Last but not least, I pray for my big, strong, 11 year old boy. That God would continue to pour out blessings on him. That he would grow in wisdom and stature and in favor with God and man. That he would feel he love of God and serve Him all of his days.