My heart: "That quiet time this morning was SO good and rich."
My head: "Now its time to push up my sleeves and get some work done."
My heart: "Oh maybe the dishes can wait, that Beth Moore work book is calling my name. Just one more section, you're behind a little anyway."
My head: "The day is young and you need to prepare your house for the weekend. I need to finish up the laundry, tidy up the bonus room, make meal plan and a shopping list for tomorrow, and today is cleaning day so I've got to clean my bathroom, the kids' bathroom and this week I wash our sheets........."
My heart: "Go dig into that verse in first Peter just a little more...."
Oh the epic Martha vs Mary battle that wages daily in me!
Thank you Lord for my quiet times with you. Walk with me today and reveal your Word to me as I...
go scrub the shower.
She girds herself with strength,
And strengthens her arms...
She watches over the ways of her household,
And does not eat the bread of idleness.
(Proverbs 31:17 and 27)
Whom have I in heaven but You?
And there is none upon earth that I desire besides You.
26 My flesh and my heart fail;
But God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.
(Psalm 73:25-26)
Cue the gray hair
Speaking of the son I love dearly...
He gave me quite a scare last night. Actually it was not long after that last blog post.
A typical Wednesday night, Jake was gone at youth group and I was rummaging through the refrigerator for leftovers to feed the troops. "Lunch meat: Ashley, Micah, and Kate will eat that. 2 string cheeses: Emily can have one, Mabry will want the other. Leftover rice: Everyone but Abby will eat that." And so on until everyone has something that resembles a full meal.
Now, on a normal night, we'd all be sitting at the table together. I feed Kate, Jake keeps an eye on Micah because he's known for eating too fast and/or stealing food from other plates, and we tag team Abby and Mabry. But because last night was a hodge podge meal, the kids ate in shifts at the counter as I kept pulling out random food and heating it up.
But somewhere near the end of Micah's bowl of rice, he jumped down from his barstool, and with big eyes, started rocking side to side and pointing at his throat. Now, this isn't completely uncommon. Micah always eats so fast that sometimes we have to stop and let the food catch up. When this happens, its not an issue of not getting air. He's breathing... technically... but he does this gurgly, burping, coughing... thing... for a few minutes and once the food "clears" he gets a big smile, gives sort of a thumbs up and dives face first back into his plate of food.
So I went right over and sat with him, encouraging him to take slow breaths, rubbing is back gently and kindly reminding him that this is why he needs to CHEW and eat slowly. I mean, everything is a teachable moment right? :)
But after about 10 minutes of gurgling, crying, and rocking... it wasn't "normal for Micah" anymore. I started to get nervous. I prompted Emily to gather up the 3 little girls into the living room and Ashley to start cleaning up the kitchen. Its that moment when you aren't sure how serious something is about to become and you just know you need to be prepared.
5 more minutes past and nothing had changed. And for last 20 minutes I'd been running the checklist in my head: Are his lips blue? No. Does he have good color? Yes. He's crying so I know he's getting some kind of air, but he clearly can't take deep breaths. Could he be having an allergic reaction? No, he's literally just had lunch meat and white rice. Stuff he has all the time.
I check out trusty Google. I literally typed in "choking on rice". Somehow I got to wikipedia reading about aspirating. When pulmonary aspiration occurs during eating and drinking, the aspirated material is often colloquially referred to as "going down the wrong pipe." Yes, check. Food going down the wrong pipe. I think that's what's going on here. So I keep reading. Consequences of pulmonary aspiration range from no injury at all, to chemical pneumonitis or pneumonia, to death within minutes (which you KNOW is the only part my brain read) from asphyxiation. Ok, so maybe Google wasn't the best idea.
I've had enough, I pick up my phone and call 911. I gave them our address and a description of whats going on. I have Ashley (who pretty much cleaned the entire house in that few minutes because she didn't know what else to do with herself) go unlock the childlock on the front door and wait there to flag down the paramedics. Micah's still rocking, crying and gurgling.
Of course, he freaks out when they come in because he still hates doctors from his horrible experiences in Ukraine. After much conversation between myself and one of the paramedics, some listening to Micah's back, and Micah finally calming down enough to tell the team "bye" because he wanted them to leave, he was looking much better.
My options were to take him in to do some Xrays to see if there is actually any food in his lungs or keep an eye on him. If he starts to show symptoms like a fever or labored breathing, he could have aspiration pneumonia. Where his body sort of covers the food with fluid because its foreign, causing pneumonia. So I opted to not traumatize him further and just keep an eye on him.
I'm going to call the pediatrician this morning to see what they want to do, but I really think he's fine now. Its just a really good reminder that I've got to keep a close eye on him while he eats. And maybe its time for a swallow study after all.
I'm really proud of how well my big girls stepped up to the plate, you never would have known that 5 other children were in this house.
And aside from the gush of tears that came when I finally heard the sirens and saw the lights in our culdesac (which I managed to wipe away before they came in), I was glad I was able to stay calm through the entire ordeal.
But I might be the only 29 year old mom in town sporting a couple of new gray hairs.
He gave me quite a scare last night. Actually it was not long after that last blog post.
A typical Wednesday night, Jake was gone at youth group and I was rummaging through the refrigerator for leftovers to feed the troops. "Lunch meat: Ashley, Micah, and Kate will eat that. 2 string cheeses: Emily can have one, Mabry will want the other. Leftover rice: Everyone but Abby will eat that." And so on until everyone has something that resembles a full meal.
Now, on a normal night, we'd all be sitting at the table together. I feed Kate, Jake keeps an eye on Micah because he's known for eating too fast and/or stealing food from other plates, and we tag team Abby and Mabry. But because last night was a hodge podge meal, the kids ate in shifts at the counter as I kept pulling out random food and heating it up.
But somewhere near the end of Micah's bowl of rice, he jumped down from his barstool, and with big eyes, started rocking side to side and pointing at his throat. Now, this isn't completely uncommon. Micah always eats so fast that sometimes we have to stop and let the food catch up. When this happens, its not an issue of not getting air. He's breathing... technically... but he does this gurgly, burping, coughing... thing... for a few minutes and once the food "clears" he gets a big smile, gives sort of a thumbs up and dives face first back into his plate of food.
So I went right over and sat with him, encouraging him to take slow breaths, rubbing is back gently and kindly reminding him that this is why he needs to CHEW and eat slowly. I mean, everything is a teachable moment right? :)
But after about 10 minutes of gurgling, crying, and rocking... it wasn't "normal for Micah" anymore. I started to get nervous. I prompted Emily to gather up the 3 little girls into the living room and Ashley to start cleaning up the kitchen. Its that moment when you aren't sure how serious something is about to become and you just know you need to be prepared.
5 more minutes past and nothing had changed. And for last 20 minutes I'd been running the checklist in my head: Are his lips blue? No. Does he have good color? Yes. He's crying so I know he's getting some kind of air, but he clearly can't take deep breaths. Could he be having an allergic reaction? No, he's literally just had lunch meat and white rice. Stuff he has all the time.
I check out trusty Google. I literally typed in "choking on rice". Somehow I got to wikipedia reading about aspirating. When pulmonary aspiration occurs during eating and drinking, the aspirated material is often colloquially referred to as "going down the wrong pipe." Yes, check. Food going down the wrong pipe. I think that's what's going on here. So I keep reading. Consequences of pulmonary aspiration range from no injury at all, to chemical pneumonitis or pneumonia, to death within minutes (which you KNOW is the only part my brain read) from asphyxiation. Ok, so maybe Google wasn't the best idea.
I've had enough, I pick up my phone and call 911. I gave them our address and a description of whats going on. I have Ashley (who pretty much cleaned the entire house in that few minutes because she didn't know what else to do with herself) go unlock the childlock on the front door and wait there to flag down the paramedics. Micah's still rocking, crying and gurgling.
Of course, he freaks out when they come in because he still hates doctors from his horrible experiences in Ukraine. After much conversation between myself and one of the paramedics, some listening to Micah's back, and Micah finally calming down enough to tell the team "bye" because he wanted them to leave, he was looking much better.
My options were to take him in to do some Xrays to see if there is actually any food in his lungs or keep an eye on him. If he starts to show symptoms like a fever or labored breathing, he could have aspiration pneumonia. Where his body sort of covers the food with fluid because its foreign, causing pneumonia. So I opted to not traumatize him further and just keep an eye on him.
I'm going to call the pediatrician this morning to see what they want to do, but I really think he's fine now. Its just a really good reminder that I've got to keep a close eye on him while he eats. And maybe its time for a swallow study after all.
I'm really proud of how well my big girls stepped up to the plate, you never would have known that 5 other children were in this house.
And aside from the gush of tears that came when I finally heard the sirens and saw the lights in our culdesac (which I managed to wipe away before they came in), I was glad I was able to stay calm through the entire ordeal.
But I might be the only 29 year old mom in town sporting a couple of new gray hairs.
Dear Micah and Abby,
To my beautiful Abigail Grace and my sweet Pavel Micah.
I cannot imagine, nor would I want to, what my life would be like without the two of you.
Abby, you are spunky and sassy. A girl who knows what she wants. Smart as a whip. You quickly become a celebrity every where you go. People who work with you at church and at school will hunt me down to say what a cool little girl you are. And how impressed they are by you.
You love your sisters. You idolize Ashley and Emily and I can see in your eyes that you are trying to model them. Mabry is your best friend. When its just the two of you, you sink away into an imaginary world with a language all its own that only the two of you understand. You love to hold and kiss your Baby Kate. Though sometimes agitating as all brothers are, Micah is secretly your buddy. And I know that in your head... you are, in fact, Ruby and Micah is Max.
We love you Abby Grace. I'm so glad that you came into our lives and changed them forever. There were times that the thought of raising you seemed simply overwhelming. But the reality is... you're just my little girl. Another spunky, smart, blonde haired, blue eyed Spencer girl with a personality all her own. Who I can't wait to watch grow up and show the world what she can do.
Micah, my little buddy. My only son. My how you've grown since you came home to us. We had a rough start, you and I. Didn't we buddy? You have taught me the most ---out of all of my children, out of all my life experiences, out of all of my trials--- patience. But not just because I had to be patient to teach you. You taught me patience because you were patient with me. We've had to be patient with each other. Learning one another. You'd never had a mother, and I'd never had a son. But we're doing it. :)
And you are so quick to forgive. Anyone. You never hold a grudge. You forgive quickly and its over, never to be remembered. You must get that from your {heavenly} Father.
You're so smart. You are sight reading, signing, tracing letters, problem solving, making friends, pedaling tricycles, exhibiting huge independence at school and even doing... better... staying with Mommy in public. :) You're totally potty trained, not even wearing a pull up at night! MY how far you've come!!!
"Not flesh of my flesh or bone of my bone, but still miraculously my own. Never forget, for a single minute, you didn't grow under my heart, but in it."
~~~
Today is World Down Syndrome Day. I am so humbled and proud to be the mother of two incredible individuals with Down Syndrome. I love you Abby and Micah.
I cannot imagine, nor would I want to, what my life would be like without the two of you.
Abby, you are spunky and sassy. A girl who knows what she wants. Smart as a whip. You quickly become a celebrity every where you go. People who work with you at church and at school will hunt me down to say what a cool little girl you are. And how impressed they are by you.
You love your sisters. You idolize Ashley and Emily and I can see in your eyes that you are trying to model them. Mabry is your best friend. When its just the two of you, you sink away into an imaginary world with a language all its own that only the two of you understand. You love to hold and kiss your Baby Kate. Though sometimes agitating as all brothers are, Micah is secretly your buddy. And I know that in your head... you are, in fact, Ruby and Micah is Max.
We love you Abby Grace. I'm so glad that you came into our lives and changed them forever. There were times that the thought of raising you seemed simply overwhelming. But the reality is... you're just my little girl. Another spunky, smart, blonde haired, blue eyed Spencer girl with a personality all her own. Who I can't wait to watch grow up and show the world what she can do.
Micah, my little buddy. My only son. My how you've grown since you came home to us. We had a rough start, you and I. Didn't we buddy? You have taught me the most ---out of all of my children, out of all my life experiences, out of all of my trials--- patience. But not just because I had to be patient to teach you. You taught me patience because you were patient with me. We've had to be patient with each other. Learning one another. You'd never had a mother, and I'd never had a son. But we're doing it. :)
And you are so quick to forgive. Anyone. You never hold a grudge. You forgive quickly and its over, never to be remembered. You must get that from your {heavenly} Father.
You're so smart. You are sight reading, signing, tracing letters, problem solving, making friends, pedaling tricycles, exhibiting huge independence at school and even doing... better... staying with Mommy in public. :) You're totally potty trained, not even wearing a pull up at night! MY how far you've come!!!
"Not flesh of my flesh or bone of my bone, but still miraculously my own. Never forget, for a single minute, you didn't grow under my heart, but in it."
~~~
Today is World Down Syndrome Day. I am so humbled and proud to be the mother of two incredible individuals with Down Syndrome. I love you Abby and Micah.
I wanna be moved
I love how the Lord give us what we need when we need it.
Why do I forget/doubt how much my Creator knows my heart?
In women's Bible study, we just started the Beth Moore series, "Stepping Up: A journey through the Psalms of Ascent" And while we watched the session together yesterday morning, one of the things Beth was talking about was songs. It was a great message that I could talk about forever. But to stay on point, I'll suffice to say that I found myself thinking, "Lord put a song in my heart. Give me something fitting for this season."
This morning I got up and did my usual morning routine. Stumble out of bed, down the stairs and pour a cup of coffee with one eye open. And then I had my quiet time with the Lord. But today was an especially sweet time with Him. I dug deep in my heart. And the cry I found? I want to go deeper; I want more.
As a stay at home mom, its so easy to slip into the mundane. Its so easy to let the monotony of your daily routine wash over and sweep you out to a sea of complacency. I want to be filled with You God. Fill me. I want more of You. I need more of You.
I. Want. More. And my God promises me that if I ask, I'll receive.
But, I had to move along with my morning. Packing lunches, making oatmeal, french braiding hair and matching socks, chatting with beloved car pool moms and kissing my boy as he got on his bus. Then its back into the house for diaper changes, a bottle for the baby, and cleaning up aftermath from the hurricane that sweeps across my kitchen counters between 6:30 and 8:00am every day.
I flipped on my ipod as usual and the song that came on stopped me in my tracks and brought tears to my eyes.
"I don't want to be a flame, I wanna be a raging fire. Tired of my will, my way, Your calling's higher. I know its time I stopped running from the truth so I'll stand here still until I'm filled, I wanna be moved."
An old Ginny Owen's song "I wanna be moved" Only You, Lord.
So this is my song.
"I don't want to be a flame, I wanna be a raging fire". Not a flickering tea light but an epic, out of control, bonfire! I want my life to be marked by passion. I want to be emptied of myself and filled with the fire of the Holy Spirit. The works of my hands, the works of His hands. My countenance, His. My attitude, His. You know that feeling when you're so in love with the Lord that you could just be raptured up right then and there? I want that more. A raging fire... *sigh*
"Tired of my will, my way." As a mom, its easy to slip into doing everything "my way". I'm the mom, I know what's best for my kids! But does it spill over into other areas of my life? If I'm honest I think I know whats best for myself as well. I'm daily teaching my kids to trust me and obey the first time. (And what an uphill battle that can be.) But if I stand here still and listen, the Lord is telling me to trust Him; His way is better. And obey... the first time. He's patient with me, much more patient than I am with my own children. But it, dare I say it, takes me even longer to "get it" then it does my kids.
Whew.
Fill me with fresh fire. A flame that burns wildly for You. I pray that it would spill over into my home and onto my children. I don't want complacency. I need a fresh word for this season. New manna from heaven. I get it, God. I trust you. I'm obeying. Mold me. Use me. I'm yours. I wanna be moved. Amen.
And when they had prayed, the place where they were assembled together was shaken; and they were all filled with the Holy Spirit, and they spoke the word of God with boldness. Acts 4:31
Why do I forget/doubt how much my Creator knows my heart?
In women's Bible study, we just started the Beth Moore series, "Stepping Up: A journey through the Psalms of Ascent" And while we watched the session together yesterday morning, one of the things Beth was talking about was songs. It was a great message that I could talk about forever. But to stay on point, I'll suffice to say that I found myself thinking, "Lord put a song in my heart. Give me something fitting for this season."
This morning I got up and did my usual morning routine. Stumble out of bed, down the stairs and pour a cup of coffee with one eye open. And then I had my quiet time with the Lord. But today was an especially sweet time with Him. I dug deep in my heart. And the cry I found? I want to go deeper; I want more.
As a stay at home mom, its so easy to slip into the mundane. Its so easy to let the monotony of your daily routine wash over and sweep you out to a sea of complacency. I want to be filled with You God. Fill me. I want more of You. I need more of You.
I. Want. More. And my God promises me that if I ask, I'll receive.
But, I had to move along with my morning. Packing lunches, making oatmeal, french braiding hair and matching socks, chatting with beloved car pool moms and kissing my boy as he got on his bus. Then its back into the house for diaper changes, a bottle for the baby, and cleaning up aftermath from the hurricane that sweeps across my kitchen counters between 6:30 and 8:00am every day.
I flipped on my ipod as usual and the song that came on stopped me in my tracks and brought tears to my eyes.
"I don't want to be a flame, I wanna be a raging fire. Tired of my will, my way, Your calling's higher. I know its time I stopped running from the truth so I'll stand here still until I'm filled, I wanna be moved."
An old Ginny Owen's song "I wanna be moved" Only You, Lord.
So this is my song.
"I don't want to be a flame, I wanna be a raging fire". Not a flickering tea light but an epic, out of control, bonfire! I want my life to be marked by passion. I want to be emptied of myself and filled with the fire of the Holy Spirit. The works of my hands, the works of His hands. My countenance, His. My attitude, His. You know that feeling when you're so in love with the Lord that you could just be raptured up right then and there? I want that more. A raging fire... *sigh*
"Tired of my will, my way." As a mom, its easy to slip into doing everything "my way". I'm the mom, I know what's best for my kids! But does it spill over into other areas of my life? If I'm honest I think I know whats best for myself as well. I'm daily teaching my kids to trust me and obey the first time. (And what an uphill battle that can be.) But if I stand here still and listen, the Lord is telling me to trust Him; His way is better. And obey... the first time. He's patient with me, much more patient than I am with my own children. But it, dare I say it, takes me even longer to "get it" then it does my kids.
Whew.
Fill me with fresh fire. A flame that burns wildly for You. I pray that it would spill over into my home and onto my children. I don't want complacency. I need a fresh word for this season. New manna from heaven. I get it, God. I trust you. I'm obeying. Mold me. Use me. I'm yours. I wanna be moved. Amen.
And when they had prayed, the place where they were assembled together was shaken; and they were all filled with the Holy Spirit, and they spoke the word of God with boldness. Acts 4:31
Sisters
Life has been busy busy busy at the Spencer house. I was gone all weekend on a women's retreat and left all the kiddo's with Super Dad who also preached in "big church" again on Sunday. You can should check that out here.
I need a little more time to work on part 3 of my little series, but I just found this on my camera from a couple of weeks ago and I had to share.
Its so fun to watch the different relationships between the kids. Ashley loves playing with Kate. And as far as Kate is concerned there is just nothing in the world better than her big brother and sisters. Especially Ashley.
I need a little more time to work on part 3 of my little series, but I just found this on my camera from a couple of weeks ago and I had to share.
Its so fun to watch the different relationships between the kids. Ashley loves playing with Kate. And as far as Kate is concerned there is just nothing in the world better than her big brother and sisters. Especially Ashley.
From the heart of a mom: Parenting my children with special needs, Part 2
For the record, I'm writing this post for four reasons. 1) For anyone who knows us personally. Understanding my kids a little better might be interesting/helpful to you. Or maybe not. :) 2) For my own reflection. Its always interesting to me to go back and see how far my kids have come. Special needs or otherwise. 3) For other moms who walk this road with me to feel normal. 4) For moms who have just started this journey of parenting a child (or children) with special needs, to prepare for what it might look like in their own family. This is our real life, day to day, story.
So, I told you that I'd share the why's and how's of Micah and Abby. But how do I explain something that I don't even fully understand myself? I can tell you that much of it is sensory. Sights, sounds, even social situations- its all very overwhelming for them. Another factor is structure. Many kids with all different special needs have a hard time when things aren't structured. When they don't know or understand what's going to happen next. Which leads to- difficulty with transitions. Its hard when they don't already know what they're transitioning too. Does that make sense? Also, crowds are... too much. Its really over stimulating. Abby doesn't do well with loud music. Its scary to her. The difficulties aren't limited to sensory, structure, and transitions. But these are some of the main elements for Micah and Abby specifically.
Like I said before, home is just home. When its just our family, its pretty low key.
I'd like to interject something for just a minute: Jake and I have said before, we wonder what people think our house is like. Because when company comes over, its definitely a mad house. Everyone is excited to see friends, show off rooms and toys, and the energy level explodes. But when its just us, we just hang out. For having six kids, even I would think that it would be louder or... something. I mean, we have the typicaltantrums toddler boundary testing or the occasional fight argument over a toy. :) But for the most part, it really is pretty chill.
But back to Micah and Abby.
I don't feel like there is very much at all that's different about Micah and Abby at home. Yes, Abby can throw tantrums when she doesn't get her way. But so does Mabry. And Micah doesn't talk to express his needs, he signs. No biggy. They are both held to their developmentally appropriate expectations as children in our house. Share, be nice, no yelling, no whining, no hitting, say 'please' 'thank you' and 'I'm sorry', and if you don't eat what's served, you don't eat. Its no different for them than for their siblings. Abby might do silly things like hang her tongue out more or repeat everyone while they're talking, but... she's loved. She's accepted. Micah is more different because he's a boy than because he has Down Syndrome! He plays rough, eats twice as much as any of the other kids, and he thinks its funny to make fart noises. :)
But as I said in the last post, its when we go out that its hard. Not that we go out much. We don't eat out a whole lot (like maybe once a month), and we shop with them even less. Its been a long time since we've taken Micah and Abby into stores. Jake and I tag team shopping on his days off. One of us shops, the other stays home with all the littles. And when we do eat out, its usually our whole family, and we sort of tag team that too. We each take a big, a middle, and a little. (Like I take Ashley, Abby and Kate, he takes the other three. Though Ashley and Emily are really like, the assistants.) And by "take" I mean: make sure they aren't under the table, dumping out salt, coloring on the table or have something in their mouths that isn't food. Make sure they are eating and being quiet.
But that's not anything special, we did that when we just had two kids and none with special needs.
And at school they do okay. At least they do according to their teachers. No complaints. Micah was apparently a "pinball" the first couple of months of school, bouncing all over the room, but now he's doing great. Sitting at his desk, raising his hand, staying in line in the hall. Both are loved by their classmates and thrive with all of the structure that a school setting provides.
So, I told you that I'd share the why's and how's of Micah and Abby. But how do I explain something that I don't even fully understand myself? I can tell you that much of it is sensory. Sights, sounds, even social situations- its all very overwhelming for them. Another factor is structure. Many kids with all different special needs have a hard time when things aren't structured. When they don't know or understand what's going to happen next. Which leads to- difficulty with transitions. Its hard when they don't already know what they're transitioning too. Does that make sense? Also, crowds are... too much. Its really over stimulating. Abby doesn't do well with loud music. Its scary to her. The difficulties aren't limited to sensory, structure, and transitions. But these are some of the main elements for Micah and Abby specifically.
Like I said before, home is just home. When its just our family, its pretty low key.
I'd like to interject something for just a minute: Jake and I have said before, we wonder what people think our house is like. Because when company comes over, its definitely a mad house. Everyone is excited to see friends, show off rooms and toys, and the energy level explodes. But when its just us, we just hang out. For having six kids, even I would think that it would be louder or... something. I mean, we have the typical
But back to Micah and Abby.
I don't feel like there is very much at all that's different about Micah and Abby at home. Yes, Abby can throw tantrums when she doesn't get her way. But so does Mabry. And Micah doesn't talk to express his needs, he signs. No biggy. They are both held to their developmentally appropriate expectations as children in our house. Share, be nice, no yelling, no whining, no hitting, say 'please' 'thank you' and 'I'm sorry', and if you don't eat what's served, you don't eat. Its no different for them than for their siblings. Abby might do silly things like hang her tongue out more or repeat everyone while they're talking, but... she's loved. She's accepted. Micah is more different because he's a boy than because he has Down Syndrome! He plays rough, eats twice as much as any of the other kids, and he thinks its funny to make fart noises. :)
But as I said in the last post, its when we go out that its hard. Not that we go out much. We don't eat out a whole lot (like maybe once a month), and we shop with them even less. Its been a long time since we've taken Micah and Abby into stores. Jake and I tag team shopping on his days off. One of us shops, the other stays home with all the littles. And when we do eat out, its usually our whole family, and we sort of tag team that too. We each take a big, a middle, and a little. (Like I take Ashley, Abby and Kate, he takes the other three. Though Ashley and Emily are really like, the assistants.) And by "take" I mean: make sure they aren't under the table, dumping out salt, coloring on the table or have something in their mouths that isn't food. Make sure they are eating and being quiet.
But that's not anything special, we did that when we just had two kids and none with special needs.
And at school they do okay. At least they do according to their teachers. No complaints. Micah was apparently a "pinball" the first couple of months of school, bouncing all over the room, but now he's doing great. Sitting at his desk, raising his hand, staying in line in the hall. Both are loved by their classmates and thrive with all of the structure that a school setting provides.
The hardest place... is church. I'll be honest, its not fun. And its totally not because of the church its self. We have a wonderful church that loves us and loves our kids. I'm so grateful for the people there and the ways they reach out to us. I don't know how people do it who aren't a part of a great church. Its just a ton of activity and commotion for Micah and Abby.
The sanctuary freaks Abby out. Its loud, its scary, and the vibration of the drums and instruments throws her over the edge. The hallways are intimidating because there's a whole lot of people who know her a lot better than she knows them. And they all want to tell her high. (But please don't stop telling her hi! More on that in part 3 of this fun filled series. :)) I mentioned in the last post that Abby does better in the classroom. And I really feel that that's true. I pick her up at the end of each service, paranoid, thinking there's no telling what stories I'm going to hear or what parent I need to track down and apologize to. But almost every Sunday, they tell me she was one of the best kids in the class. Well mannered, sweet and outgoing. For this reason, Abby's in a typical classroom setting. She's (as far as I know) the only child in there with any special needs. But back out into the hall way, is back out into sensory overload. And she's not a huge fan.
Micah on the other hand is just thrilled to be at church. So thrilled in fact, that walking slowly and patiently through the halls, waiting for each of his sisters to be checked into their classes, just makes no sense to him. Walking with Micah is more comparable to escorting an untamed baby chimpanzee than an actual human child. He's climbing my legs, the stroller, hugging random strangers' legs, pulling to go into every classroom we pass, stopping to take his coat off, then his shirt... you might think I'm exaggerating. I'm really not. Now he might be still and quiet for small periods of time (if you have a nonverbal child, you'll understand that sometimes they can still manage to be the loudest) but in those moments he's usually huffing and puffing with exhaustion, chewing his tongue, deep in thought, concocting his next plan of attack. Its all great fun to him. But when he's in a hallway packed with people, many of them stopping to say hi to him, he's so far beyond sensory overload that he has no idea how to react other than pull on my arm, make growling and roaring noises (through smiles), and sometimes "pppttthhhhhh" in their face and laugh. Or if he really likes you back, he might throw his shoe at you.
Ok, so if I try to step back and read this through the eyes of someone who didn't live this, I think I would think "Um, I just wouldn't go to church any more!" But to put it in perspective, its only a couple of hours, once a week. And really, its just getting in and out the door. Micah IS in a special needs classroom with a one-on-one "buddy". And after I've dropped him off, I know they've got it.
But its still hard. Trying to keep Abby from being stressed out, keeping Micah walking normally...
and dealing with a 2 year old...
oh and a 7 month old...
its a lot.
I need to give some credit where credit is due. Ashley and Emily are a huge help. They totally hold hands for me when I need them too. And so long as we don't encounter too large a crowd or pass a room with really loud music, Micah and Abby will let them hold their hands so that I can hold Kate in one arm and Mabry's hand with the other. And unless we get the "wow, are these all your kids" comments, they're pretty unaffected by Micah and Abby's behaviors. They just sweetly hug them and try to comfort and calm.
~~~
The sanctuary freaks Abby out. Its loud, its scary, and the vibration of the drums and instruments throws her over the edge. The hallways are intimidating because there's a whole lot of people who know her a lot better than she knows them. And they all want to tell her high. (But please don't stop telling her hi! More on that in part 3 of this fun filled series. :)) I mentioned in the last post that Abby does better in the classroom. And I really feel that that's true. I pick her up at the end of each service, paranoid, thinking there's no telling what stories I'm going to hear or what parent I need to track down and apologize to. But almost every Sunday, they tell me she was one of the best kids in the class. Well mannered, sweet and outgoing. For this reason, Abby's in a typical classroom setting. She's (as far as I know) the only child in there with any special needs. But back out into the hall way, is back out into sensory overload. And she's not a huge fan.
Micah on the other hand is just thrilled to be at church. So thrilled in fact, that walking slowly and patiently through the halls, waiting for each of his sisters to be checked into their classes, just makes no sense to him. Walking with Micah is more comparable to escorting an untamed baby chimpanzee than an actual human child. He's climbing my legs, the stroller, hugging random strangers' legs, pulling to go into every classroom we pass, stopping to take his coat off, then his shirt... you might think I'm exaggerating. I'm really not. Now he might be still and quiet for small periods of time (if you have a nonverbal child, you'll understand that sometimes they can still manage to be the loudest) but in those moments he's usually huffing and puffing with exhaustion, chewing his tongue, deep in thought, concocting his next plan of attack. Its all great fun to him. But when he's in a hallway packed with people, many of them stopping to say hi to him, he's so far beyond sensory overload that he has no idea how to react other than pull on my arm, make growling and roaring noises (through smiles), and sometimes "pppttthhhhhh" in their face and laugh. Or if he really likes you back, he might throw his shoe at you.
Ok, so if I try to step back and read this through the eyes of someone who didn't live this, I think I would think "Um, I just wouldn't go to church any more!" But to put it in perspective, its only a couple of hours, once a week. And really, its just getting in and out the door. Micah IS in a special needs classroom with a one-on-one "buddy". And after I've dropped him off, I know they've got it.
But its still hard. Trying to keep Abby from being stressed out, keeping Micah walking normally...
and dealing with a 2 year old...
oh and a 7 month old...
its a lot.
I need to give some credit where credit is due. Ashley and Emily are a huge help. They totally hold hands for me when I need them too. And so long as we don't encounter too large a crowd or pass a room with really loud music, Micah and Abby will let them hold their hands so that I can hold Kate in one arm and Mabry's hand with the other. And unless we get the "wow, are these all your kids" comments, they're pretty unaffected by Micah and Abby's behaviors. They just sweetly hug them and try to comfort and calm.
~~~
To other moms of children with special needs, I know your pain. I've read your stories too. Lets hang in there together. Acceptance, empathy, and respect. They are the unspoken code of this club we didn't ask to be a part of, aren't they?
Another thing I keep reminding myself of (and a friend commented about, in the last post I think) is that so much of the craziness I deal with, everyone deals with. Its just the story of having kids. And its amplified when you have several kids. Please don't think I'm complaining when I talk about the difficulties. Or boasting when I tell you of the good parts! I'm just sharing what its like. This is what its like to raise the Spencer kids. :)
I'm fully confident that Christ has equipped me for every thing He's called me to do. My biggest call right now is raising children who love the Lord with their whole hearts and serve Him in all they do. Who are self sufficient as individuals and act as involved members of their community. Its no small task. For any mom. But with Christ in me, I'm up for the challenge.
Another thing I keep reminding myself of (and a friend commented about, in the last post I think) is that so much of the craziness I deal with, everyone deals with. Its just the story of having kids. And its amplified when you have several kids. Please don't think I'm complaining when I talk about the difficulties. Or boasting when I tell you of the good parts! I'm just sharing what its like. This is what its like to raise the Spencer kids. :)
I'm fully confident that Christ has equipped me for every thing He's called me to do. My biggest call right now is raising children who love the Lord with their whole hearts and serve Him in all they do. Who are self sufficient as individuals and act as involved members of their community. Its no small task. For any mom. But with Christ in me, I'm up for the challenge.
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