Pictures!!

Click over to my adoption blog to see a picture and a VIDEO of our little guy!! I'm so grateful to have these!!!

Here is the email from McKenna which I could not post on the other site:

Amy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We got to spend some time with Reese outside this morning and we saw Pavel with his groupa. He's actually in the same groupa as Max, so I don't know where he was during the performance. Oh my gosh! He's so cute!! It was cold outside, so none of the kids were too active and the caregivers weren't overly thrilled about us photographing, but I got a picture and a video of him on the swing. The caregivers seemed sweet though and fixed his hat before DJ videotaped him. He spent practically the whole outside time on the swing. Amy, he's precious!! I can't wait for you to come get him! Oh, when we were about to go inside, someone brought a toy stroller outside and he wanted it. All the kids in the groupa were wanting it, but he got it for a little bit. He's so adorable!!! Love~mckenna

A little explination: Max is a little boy that is on RR as well, but does not have a family commited to him yet. As far as I understand, Max is "typically developing" mentally but has some deformalities due to "Klippel-Feil syndrome". You can see pictures of Max on the "Other angels" page here (he's the third one down). Anyway, their groupa had a performance the other day (Ukrainian orphanages are BIG on performances), and Max was in it but apparently Pavel was not. :( We don't know why. Also, I was a little sad to think that he would have been swinging with his buddy Oleg, but now he just swings alone. :( As for the part about the stroller... maybe that means he knows how to fight for his toys... that would be a good thing if he's gonna live in THIS house!!!

Anyway... is he or is he not the cutest little thing you've ever seen? I mean, c'mon. :)

Pray for pictures

The most recent post on my friend, McKenna's blog mentioned that she has been scouting as much as she can and hasn't seen my boy yet. :( She's seen 3 of the 10 "groupa's" in the orphanage but he was in none of them. So she said tomorrow she's going to ask her translator to ask her facilitator to ask the director (got it?) if she can have a tour and maybe catch a peek of Pavel and the other two little girls who have a family working for them.

This is such a stange feeling. I'm feeling such odd emotions for so many reasons. 1.) I have a SON. Which is a first. :) I can't even imagine what that's like yet. 2.) He's three. My little boy has been around for three years... and I missed his first smile, his first steps, his first words. I didn't get to rejoice as he rolled over or started to crawl. I didn't teach him to hold a spoon and carefully bring it to his mouth. I've never changed his diapers, changed his clothes or given him a bath. I've never kissed his face or even seen him smile. And the really sad part is... I don't even know that the caregivers who DID and do experience these things even appreciated it. That hurts me deeper than words can describe. 3.) He's on the other side of the world. In a culture I've never seen and don't understand. 4.) In four months, he'll be here. In my house. Playing with the girls on the floor, sitting around the table coloring, going to church with us, and reading books on the couch before bed. I can hold him, squish him and love him anytime I want. :)

Anyway, I don't know what made me share all that. Its just in my heart. And I think about it SO much while I know someone is THERE in the same building with him, who could take his picture so that I have something new. Some sign that he's okay. A few of the kids there have bronchitis and chicken pox. Is he one of them? Is he healthy? Is he happy? Does he know love at all? A picture can be worth a thousand words. And worth a thousand answers. :)

Spencer Baby #5!

I had my first doctors appointment today and it went great! It was good to see Dr. Mullaly again (she delivered Emily and Abbs) and we were able to talk through all of the "stuff" we needed to talk about. My due date is exactly as I figured: October 12th which puts me at 8 1/2 weeks right now. I had my first ultrasound which showed only ONE :) very healthy little baby with a very strong heartbeat! The pictures are a little dark, but you can see my little jelly bean baby (inside the dark mass). :)

Because of the fact that my odds are raised a little to have another baby with Down Syndrome, we discussed some testing/screening options. I told her I'm for doing anything that's non-invasive. And given that we WILL NOT "terminate" (I hate that word) this pregnancy, she understands that they would only be for our peace of mind and to stay on top of any possible medical issues should the baby have DS. So at 12 weeks (April 6th) they will do a special kind of ultrasound to measure tissue in the back of the baby's neck (or something like that) and that will give them an indicator. My friend Meredith is pregnant with her 5th child and just had this same screening done. (You can check out her blog here and see ultrasound pics here.)

People have asked me (and I know many more are wondering) if we are afraid that this baby will have Down syndrome. And the way I honestly feel is that... I'm not really concerned about it. I don't "feel" like this baby will... but you know, if he does... so what? That might sound strange, but I've just learned that all my kids are God's first. I'll love this baby the same as all of my kids rather he is "typically developing" or has Trisomy 21 (DS), Trisomy 18, Trisomy 13, Autism, Cerebal Palsy, Blindness, has only three limbs or no limbs! Life is precious and its a gift. In my heart I'm prepared for whatever God has for me and I'm not afraid. I can say that honestly. I fully trust that God is the author of all life and can and will use it for His glory. So yes, I will do this screening, because I feel it would be wise medically, but I'm not worried about it. For now, there is a tiny, HEALTHY baby inside me and thats all that any mom can ask. :) (And I'm only saying "he" because I'd rather not say "it"... and yes I'll be completely excited about a boy OR girl.) :)

Anyway, the girls were really excited to see the pictures too. Emily was explaining to her Nana today how Mommy and Daddy are "gonna go get Pabel, and he's MINE age, not Ashy's" and "then Mommy's gonna have a baby from her belly".

In other news, we're still waiting to get pictures of Spencer Baby #4. (Although he'll technically be #2 in line... whatever). :) I told Jake last night, I feel like I'm waiting to get ultrasound pictures of Pavel. I can't WAIT. :)

So today, I'm glad to have that first visit over... to know the baby is in the right place, is growing well, and the Dr is happy with the way everything looks! Praising God for this tiny new life that one day, we won't be able to imagine our family without. :)

Better than living on the couch

Zofran IS good stuff. I tried it a couple of times last week with no luck. The first time I tried it I was even pretty sure it was making me worse. :) But I gave it another shot yesterday... and then again today. And so far, so good. I still feel like a zombie, but at least I'm not a heaving zombie. And I'm still trying to eat every hour and a half. That helps. And I still feel momentarily barfy after I eat but... this is all better than living on the couch.

When I was pregnant with Ashley and Emily, I don't remember even hearing about Zofran, I don't think it was around yet. And with Abby, it wasn't generic yet, so it was still $20 a pill!! Whew! Who can afford that, I wanna know? Even now, after insurance, the generic is still $3 each, so thats $6 a DAY. Which sucks. But... again, better than living on the couch. :)

McKenna

I need to introduce you to a new friend of mine. McKenna and her husband DJ live in San Antonio, TX. They have two kids- a boy and a girl, their little girl has Down Syndrome.

I met McKenna through Reeces Rainbow. (Click here to see their RR profile.) You see, she is adopting another little girl with Down Syndrome. Not only from the same country we are, but from the very SAME orphanage! Her soon to be daughter, Reese and our Pavel are living in the same baby house.

McKenna and DJ are there right now on their first trip. (The requirements are for both parents to travel for 3 weeks, then come home for around 2 weeks, then go back for another two to get the child.) They just got there a few days ago. They're doing court/legal stuff right now but once she's at the orphanage with her little girl, she's going to try to get pictures of Pavel for me! I can't announce this on my adoption blog becuase we can't disclose the location of Pavel (or Reese) publicly- Odessa, Ukraine.

Anyway, please pray for safe travel for our new friends and also pray that this trip goes smoothly. Pray that all of their paperwork is straight and that there are no problems. Also pray that they can get some good pictures of our boy!!! She said she would try to get as many pictures for me as she can, as well as video! Wouldn't that be awesome! All I have right now are these two little pictures from August. I would love to see that sweet little smile again! And to see how he's grown, from what I know, he had just started walking in these pictures.

I can't wait til its us over their taking pictures for other people! There are two more little girls in this orphanage that are being adopted together. The family just commited (click here)... so I would love to be able to get some updated pictures for them once we are their with Pavel!

Its such a hard thing to fall in love with your child from a distance. I can't wait to hold my little boy in my arms and to know that he's mine forever. :)

Blahhhhh.....

Please lift me up in your prayers this week... and probably the next FEW weeks... this morning sickness is trying to get the better of me! Its odd- its not quite as bad as it was with the girls. But its just bad enough to make ALL OF LIFE difficult. :(

My sweet mom came over some last week to help watch the girls and clean my house... and of course my amazing husband has done all he can to help out when he's home. But I really need to be well enough to function... so please pray for me!