Still

Well, I might as well blog about it. Since I have the time.

I mentioned it a bit in my last post. But here it is again.

I've got mono. :(

It all started before Christmas. I was feeling pretty miserable. But honestly, I was so on guard for flu symptoms, that I didn't stop to think what else could be wrong. I had no congestion. No runny nose. Not really a sore throat. But my neck hurt. Like... swollen kinda hurt. And my lower back hurt just a little. And I was getting migraines. 30 years and I've never had a migraine. Until now. But my biggest complaint- fatigue. I was so tired. All the time. But hey, I've got six kids. And it was Christmastime. Who wouldn't be tired?

But still, there was something there.

I told myself to deal with it and I moved on.

Until finally I got to the point that I knew something must be really wrong with me. And actually, the only reason I finally saw a doctor was because if something was wrong, I just wanted to know so I could start on an antibiotic or something and be done with it. Because like Sweet Brown says, "Ain't no body got time for that!" ;)

The doctor did a flu test and a strep test. Both were negative. But after barely touching the back of my neck, my doctor have a "Oooohhh, now I know what's wrong" followed by a "You're not gonna like this". Which, ya know, is always what you want to hear from your doctor.

She said the glands in my neck were sticking out. And that she thought it was mono, though it's rare for someone my age to catch it. I told her I'd had it several times in high school. She said that made sense. And to make a long story short, it's kind of been latent in my body and could really only be brought about by extreme stress or not taking care of myself.   .....Who me???? ;)

So they drew blood to confirm that it was mono and sent me home with a steroid.

~~~

After being on the steroid for those 7 days or whatever it was, I felt great. Totally fine. And when they called with the results of the blood test, she said it was already 4 weeks in. So I thought, great! I'm practically done with it!

Wroooooong.

A few days after my last steroid pill, my back started hurting again. And though low, I've had a fever the last couple of nights.

I still have mono.

And once again the thing that bothers me more than anything else- is the exhaustion. I can't function. And in this house, the mom has to function.

And if all that wasn't fun enough, Jake has a Sr. High winter retreat for 4 days. Which means....

Watch the amazing "SOLO MOMMY! As she swirls through the house cleaning and cooking while juggling six children IN THE AIR!! And for her next act she's going to swallow fire!"

But ya know, I can't do it. I physically cannot. And even if I physically could, I have to rest or this thing is never gonna be over.

So for once in my life, I swallowed my pride. And asked for help. (via facebook) Are you proud of me??!! You should be!! Its not easy for me! Why should people come do something for me when they are busy with their own lives? But my husband gently reminded me that I'm loved and that people want to help if they can. And he was right. Boy was he right.

I've got dinner coming every night this weekend. The 2nd grade class moms have lined up meals for the rest of the week. Yesterday a friend bought me groceries. Mallory is taking the baby girls for a couple of days, Ashley and Emily have been farmed out to friends (and teachers, actually) to play and sleepover. My neighbors even took Mabry to dinner last night and are going to do some laundry for me. And I've had lots more offers for help as well. I'm so blessed, I want to cry. God's people are awesome.

And now...

I can be still.

So until this thing passes (and I'm praying that day is coming soon), I'm going to accept the help with gladness. I'm going to rest the way I need to. I'm going to let the dust bunnies collect under the kitchen table and snuggle with my babies. Maybe the Lord will reveal a thing or two to this stubborn conquer-all mommy. Like how to be still.

Be still and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth. Psalm 46:10

Father God, teach me to be still and know that You alone are the great I am. Be exalted in this home... be exalted in my heart.