Reflections from the Dominican

Since we got home a few days ago, I'm having a hard time trying to find the words to describe our trip. Things like "wonderful", "awesome" or "amazing" don't really seem to suffice.

Though my girls did wonderfully,

I'm in awe of the great things that God has done and is doing,

The trash dump village.

and I'm further convinced that my mother and father in law are, in fact, amazing people.

The Josiah's House "Dedication Celebration"

But much of the trip wasn't what I expected.

I thought I was going to be okay leaving my babies. I wasn't. I cried on the flight there, praying against feelings of guilt and depression. I wondered if I'd made a bad choice, leaving the four of them. I realize that sounds a little dramatic to some, but... its true. The only way for me to see past it was to try to put it all out of my mind, which only made me feel more guilty. But truly, God gave me peace knowing it was out of my control and in His hands.

I thought that Ashley and Emily would have a life changing experience. Shocked and appalled by all that they would see, surely they'd come home more thankful for all that they have. Instead, they viewed it all with a childlike unawareness. It didn't matter that these kids had a fraction of what they had at home. They served, loved, and played with the kids, the same as their friends at home. For Ashley and Emily, things like wealth, skin color and language were irrelevant. It wasn't something new, it was just something different. And it didn't matter. So instead I was the one who's eyes were opened.

Carlos, "Gracie" and Emily

The girls playing one of many many MANY hands of Uno with the boys at Josiah's House.

Making sandwiches to pass out at the village at the trash dump.

Sorting clothes to pass out.

Because the girls and I came down with the youth group but weren't really a part of that group, I wasn't sure where exactly we'd be staying or what our days would look like. I was just prepared to be flexible and go along with whatever. We stayed at Josiah's House with Jake's parents and the boys for a few nights and the last half at the hotel with the kids. And the hotel was nice. Really nice actually. When we got there, it was really hard for me to process. I felt guilty, once again, that I wasn't staying somewhere... I don't know, poorer. It had a beautiful, tropical garden in the lobby. I slept in a huge suite with a fridge, microwave, king size bed and 2 TVs. There was a big beautifully landscaped pool and cabana. And there were 3 all-you-can eat buffets a day. I went to serve and bless and instead I was served and blessed. I should have been thankful. Instead I was frustrated. I thought I was being selfless. I wanted to "rough it". Turns out I was being selfish but in a totally unexpected way.

The pool at our hotel. That's Ashley rockin the goggles. :)

I'm so glad that the Lord loves selfish, confused, sinners like me.

I have to say, my favorite part of the trip was the time spent at Josiah's House. I loved getting to spend precious time catching up with my mother-in-law and seeing the way they live life now. Talk about sacrifice and selflessness. Those boys have all kinds of traumatic backgrounds and its manifesting in all kinds of different ways. But God is doing a mighty redemptive work in their lives and I have no doubt that they will grow up to be strong, Spirit filled men of God.

This quilt was made by the the K-3rd grade kids at church (each made a different square) for the boys at Josiah's House.

Singing their songs for the dedication.

It was a great trip and really good for me. I'm thankful to have spent the time with my in-laws, to get to know each of the boys and their different personalities, to see my awesome husband in action, to serve those whom I got to serve, to give my daughters that experience, and to learn what it truly means to be selfless. It doesn't mean having nothing, it means you quit worrying about yourself and focus on others. Period.

Mom and I enjoying the breeze. :)

Lovin' on the orphans at "Jackie's House"

As a season splinter removal professional, I pulled 8 sea urchen spines out of the foot of one of our youth girls. 

La Familia. :)

I'm also thankful to those who took amazing care of my babies. :) They were loved and well taken care of. And it felt so good to all be back together again.

This was taken by our babysitter once all four littles were reunited at the house the day we came home.

Its hard to say when we'll get back down to the Dominican Republic. I hope its not too long. And I hope the things I learned there will change me forever.