On the surface, my day looks like this:
I woke up this morning and nursed my baby. I got myself ready, came downstairs, got my 1st and 2nd grader dressed, fed, and hair fixed. I packed up backpacks and met 2 other moms in the driveway for our morning carpool. After my husband drove all those kids away, I came back inside and got the next 3 kids dressed and fed. Then I loaded all 4 in the car to take Micah to school, only to realize my stroller was in the suburban with Jake. And I cannot take 3 "hand holders" and a baby carrier across a parking lot and into a busy school... without my stroller. It physically cannot be done. So I called my grandfather to meet me at the school and sit with the 3 girls while I took Micah in and got him settled into his classroom.
Now I need to take the girls 30 minutes out to the church, where Jake is, so that I can get the stroller out of the suburban. So that I CAN take my stroller and children into the school to pick him up at noon.
Then I'll bring them all home, feed them lunch and lay them down while my grandfather (the superhero) sits here with them during naptime so I can run over to Abby's school and have the big IEP meeting. Then I'll come home, get the kids up, Ashley and Emily will get home from school, I'll start dinner, feed them all, do homework with the big girls, bathe the little ones and put them all to bed. Then I'll sit on the couch and wait for my husband to get home from youth group so I can hear about his day.
So.
Why, in the midst of this day, is my heart so burdened? Because right now, on the other side of the world, there's a little 11 year old girl with Down Syndrome. She does not have a family because she has Down Syndrome. And she's wasting away at a mere 10 lbs. Unless someone saves her. I know that I cannot. But who will? Most people won't even look at her profile. Most people feel helpless so they don't even look.
And the ONLY thing I can think of are these words "If Jesus is the answer, and Jesus lives in us, doesn't that mean that WE are the answer?" Over and over these words repeat in my head.
So there she sits. If she's still alive as I type this.
And I will go pick up my stroller and get my son from school. I'll go on with my day. I'll click seat belts through my kids' chubby little legs and be reminded that there is a girl who's leg is no thicker than one of my finders.
God please.... God please....
I have no more words.
On my heart is a little boy in Illinois, adopted from Ukraine four years ago with his sister. I know this boy. He is a sweetheart. There is nothing the world wrong with HIM, but his mother is - well - she doesn't want him. Comes down to that. He spent the summer with a family who just lost their business, so they can't adopt him. He's on my mind. My kids all feel a bit neglected anyway....in our home I am the churchworker. It takes lots of time. Our radish daughter akes a lot of time. My on-his-own-but oh-so-needy former foster son takes a lot of time. But my heart goes to this little boy. He is a dear child, and I know from being with my foster son that ending up a child "of the state" is a nightmare, with no mother, but a "worker", and not one, but a string of them....some horrible. I am sick at heart. I know what you mean.
ReplyDeleteReading about your day I thought - "This woman should homeschool!"
Came over from Deb Walker's blog. She gave you an advertisement!
Hi Annie, thanks for reading! So yes, you understand my pain. :/
ReplyDeleteAnd you know, I've always had the heart to homeschool (my husband and I both homeschooled as kids) but we're taking it one year at a time with each child, and this is where He has them for now. But never say never right? ;)
Blessings to you Annie. :)