But do you know what a "normal" lunch looks like for me? I can't hold kids on my hip anymore because of my enormous belly, so I'm walking in holding 3 little hands with only two of mine. Somebody's gotta share. And because one of them has only been walking a few months and the other two have very low muscle tone, everyone is tripping over someone else and I'm quite sure it looks as if I'm just dragging my children in by their arms.
After we are seated, (and Abby has made sure to give everyone there a very warm welcome) Mabry decides she doesn't want to sit in her high chair but stand in it and Micah decides its best to hurl his sippy cup across the room because its not his beverage of choice. Abby immediately grabbed the salt shaker and shook it vigorously all over her menu with a look that said, "isn't this what I'm supposed to do as soon as we sit down?" Grateful to see my mom walk in for back-up, I try to sit... for a second. Abby lets me know through very clear words and signs that she's wet. But what she really means is that she just pooped water and its about to come leaking out. (You should know by now the graphic nature of this blog and read at your own risk.) So I reluctantly leave the other two with my poor mother, to change Abby. On the way to the bathroom she passes each booth (whom she's already greeted) with a "HI! Pooped!!" and a big cheesy wave and grin.
Which reminds me... does anyone know the weight limit for the Koala changing stations in public restrooms? This question was repeating in my mind as the door/table was creaking while I was cleaning up my 4 year old's little bottom, wondering how I would catch her if it came crashing down...
Back at the table, my mom and I tried to resume "normal" conversation. Yet somehow it kept coming back to- interpretation of Micah's sign language, how kids might get staph infections on their bottoms, what Abby ate last, and lots of other things that I had no intention of talking about when we made lunch plans.
Before the meal was over, I had one more trip to the bathroom with Abby, everyone there was exposed to the highest pitch of Mabry's voice box, and there was more food on the floor than in our stomachs. Except of course Micah, who literally licked his plate of guacamole clean.
But for me... all of this... is normal.
So if anyone would like to meet me for lunch to catch up, lets try to do it on the weekend. When Jake is home.
Mom I owe you another lunch date.
ooohhhh. Motherhood. Sometimes you just have to laugh about it all. (so you wont be crying!)
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ReplyDeleteyou.are.wonder.woman :D
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