Where I am. Physically and otherwise...

So everyone has been asking: "Where are you now?"

Weeelllll....

We are still in our house. It just doesn't feel like it because we are still in what I previously referred to as "camp mode".

Why are we still in our house? Because the buyers keep requesting to move back the closing date so they can have a little more time to pull their paperwork together. Our agent says this is nothing to worry about, that they still want the house, its just paperwork stuff. The cons of this situation are: well, we sure wouldn't have packed up all of our stuff and moved it all into storage two weeks ago. The pro: we have no were else to go, so at least we have a roof over our heads. :) So while it is a bit annoying, we're thankful to be here as long as we can. Almost like the Lord is taking care of us. ;)

How long will we be here? I don't know for sure but we will probably close the end of this week now. Jake actually just brought back our loveseat (so we at least have somewhere to sit), and a little kids table and chairs (so the kids aren't eating on the floor). Boy after living with nothing for even a short while, its amazing how grateful you are for basic furniture! And I'm basically still relying on some amazing friends and church family to do laundry. THANK YOU... you know who you are. :)

Where are we going from here? Keeping with the original plan to go to my in-laws until they get back from Costa Rica. And after that, going to the beach for a week (because hey, there's no where else to go right?! lol) and after that, we still aren't sure.

Have we found a house? Right now we are offering/counter-offering on house #3. The first two didn't work out. Long story. But even if we get the one we are working at now, we won't be able to close until about a week into May. Thats at the very earliest.

How am *I* holding up? You really want to know? (This is your chance to close this window and pretend Amy has it all together. Don't say I didn't warn you.)

Well... I'm kind of upset with myself that I'm not better at this. When things are comfortable its so easy to say, "OH, I can do that! I'm young, I'm strong, I'm resilient, I can navigate our family through whatever it is we need to do during this time of transition." But unfortunately I'm irritable, slightly depressed, and I might have scared my husband the other day when I burst into tears while making dinner.

Am I going to be okay? Yes.

Is there anything anyone can do to help? Not really.

Am I being a whiner? Yes.

Do I need to just suck it up? Yeah.

And do I KNOW that? Fully.

(I'm in the mood for Q&A type posts, just humor me.) :)

I could sit here and tell you that I'm a trooper and I'm hanging in there. I could tell you that I'm doing what needs to be done and have a great attitude and that I'm excited about where God is taking us next. But that wouldn't be honest.

The truth is that I'm emotional and a little bit miserable and all I want is to be in a house thats already set up. I want to send my kids to school and spend the day sitting in a rocking chair, singing to the baby in my womb while folding tiny newborn onsies freshly washed in Dreft. I want to set up a bassinet next to my bed and smile at it every time I walk through the room.

But ya know? I do need to suck it up. That time will come, its just not here yet. Right now I need to focus on who's house I'm going to do laundry at next, make sure we have enough plastic spoons for breakfast in the morning, and give my kids extra cuddles at night because I'm one of the only solid things in their little lives right now. (Because, hold on to your seat, I'm not the only one going through this!) I need to give some honest input to my husband on the pros and cons of the houses we're looking at instead of feeling "over it" whenever the subject comes up. I need to get on my knees and.... well, I just need to get on my knees.

I need to be a mom, wife and child of God instead of a big baby. Ouch, it almost hurts just reading that. :)

So.

Somehow this post went from being a house update to confessions of the whiny and irritable. Sorry about that. Wait, no I'm not. :) Thanks for reading. Stay tuned to see how God whips me into shape as I'm quite certain He will. As only He can. Please Lord... :)