Just have to share

**Update: My friend wasn't able to see Oleg because all of the younger children were in quarantine because of flu season I'm assuming. But the monastery sounds beautiful and the children really well taken care of and happy. :) Emily asked me again randomly the other night if Oleg was happy with his new family. I told her I wasn't sure but that it sounds like a great place and we prayed that God would take care of him and give him joy in his heart. Let it be so, Lord.**

First let me say that my flooring is done which calls for a great big WHOO HOO!! :) And it looks awesome. This great guy from our church put it in and we couldn't be more blessed. Now on to the painting. :)

But I just have to share this: While I was at the church yesterday, I got an email (actually it was comment that I didn't publish for confidentiality reasons) that stopped me completely in my tracks. (For those who don't know our whole adoption story from the beginning... or about the little boy Oleg whom we didn't end up adopting, you probably need to go read my adoption blog for this to make any sense.)

It was from a RR friend who is in Ukraine right now adopting her little angel. She said that she's been invited to go and visit a monastery. A monk there has been bringing in orphans (over 200) from all over Ukraine, some with special needs, some without. Well, she's using the same facilitator that Jake and I did, Yulia, and she told her that this is where our Oleg was transferred!! She's going to be there tomorrow and there is a chance that she might see him. Just the thought makes me cry.

I'm so overwhelmed by this information... I don't even know where to begin. For one thing, we didn't fully understand where he was going or why. Or how he was chosen. Or what it would be like for him. So to hear more about it is... I don't know how to describe it. I guess its kinda like sending your child off to boarding school against your own will and finally getting to hear what its like there. And for another thing, I really didn't think that we would ever again hear about him and never dreamed we would talk to someone who might actually run into him or (dare I get my hopes up?) take a picture!

I know its foolishness to the world... but Oleg will always be my little boy in my heart. (Prepare yourself for Amy's heart in the raw.) I fully know that the way things ended up were God's will. I KNOW that God called us to adopt both of them. And at the same time I know that it was God's will for us to not get him. Some might ask- "So what happened? Did God change His mind? Or make a mistake? How was it His will to adopt Oleg and then to not?" Because ultimately His will was obedience alone. He was calling us to obey. To walk forward. And we did. And now our family looks exactly like He knew it would. But I believe that the keeper of my heart knows that I fell in love with that little boy when He told me to go get him.

For some adoptive families a situation... a child... falls through and its SO incredibly hard. And for many (I'm mostly speaking of RR situations that I've seen or heard of) that child will be adopted by another family. And I can't imagine how hard that must be. But for me... to know that he's in another situation very like the orphanage (granted probably far more caring) but with out a mommy to hold him and love him... hurts me.

God has a plan for Oleg. I don't know what it is. But when I get to heaven, I'm going to see him. And I'm going to tell him that even though he didn't have a mommy to wrap her arms around him, there was a mommy loving him... and praying for him from the time that he was little. He was LOVED. In my heart I'll always be his mommy and he'll always be my son.

Tomorrow is the day that she will be there. I pray that she does see him. And I'm trusting that he's doing wonderfully there.