Transforming

This one.

My firstborn. She gives me a run for my money.

She's smart but she thinks she knows more than I do.
She's kind but easily annoyed.
She's joyful but tears can come in the blink of an eye.
She loves the Lord but she has some deep questions that she wrestles through.
She's the oldest but she's not the mom.
She's not a little girl but she's also not a teenager. 

She's my tween. I didn't realize how literal that term would be.

I'm usually too hard on her. I'll readily admit it. It comes from a good place in my heart-- I want my children to have a standard of obedience and respect. But the Father is so good to gently remind me that she's His before she's mine. She needs me to be a Godly mother that extends grace as lavishly as its extended to me. There are consequences. And there is grace. I'm still learning. We both are.

She needs me to listen to the many many many many many many things that she has to say. She needs me to laugh at her jokes and tell her that she's beautiful. She needs me to be on her team and in her corner at all times. 

I'm still figuring out how to navigate the drama, the strong will, the forgetfulness, the insecurities and the eagerness to please. When I know that she gets all of that from me.

"Mom the girls double dog dared me to straighten my hair for the last day of school."
Oh, well then, that's serious. It must be done.
"I mean, we haven't straightened my hair since third grade!"
FOREVER ago.
And... 'we'??

Ashley has gorgeous curly hair. Its as wild and bouncy as she is. But like almost all young girls with curly hair, she hates it. She'd rather it be sleek and straight. But Ashley's hair doesn't like to be straight. It curls from the very root. When I flat iron it, long strands will twist and wave in defiance right after I straighten them. Much like the little girl who carries them.

So this morning, while the house was still dark and quiet, we stood together and I slowly and methodically straightened every strand. She sat on a stool and waited patiently. She winced when the heat came to close to her ears or face. She couldn't wait to look in the mirror when it was done and see the transformation. 



And the Lord reminded me once again, that He is the one shaping us both. Mother and daughter alike. He'll use us if we put ourselves in His hands. It takes surrender. It takes patience. There will be heat, but there will be transformation. 

Today, her new do won't last long. But I'm prayerful that the work that the Lord is doing in her life runs deep.

I'm really not the one straightening her out at all. He is. He's straightening where its needed and making a beautiful thing of the curls. He's masterfully creating and molding that sweet girl into exactly who He wants her to be. 

He's transforming me too.

And today I'm thankful for the promise that He will continue His work until the day of Christ Jesus.

But we all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as by the Spirit of the Lord. 2 Cor. 3:18

And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns. Philippians 1:6

Fiery Pineapple

I love color. 

I love the way color can draw your attention and evoke emotions. Color is all around us, but the beauty is "in the eye of the beholder" as they say. 

In high school one of my favorite songs was "Deep enough to dream" by Chris Rice. The thought of seeing new colors in heaven was absolutely captivating to me. Even now it makes my breath catch in my chest.

Its random but love the names of colors too and how they usually relate back to nature. After all, they were His to start with. Every color has a name that helps capture it and I love figuring them out. A few years ago at a women's retreat, each woman got a journal that was a sweet shade of orange but I couldn't quite name it. It was sort of a dreamsicle color but much softer. My best friend said "It's cantaloupe." I joked, "This is why I love you!!!!!!" It's a silly thing, but a perfectly named color just makes my heart happy. My living room is glacier blue and my bedroom curtains are the perfect shade of cayenne pepper. And all is right with the world. ;) 

The Lord uses color to speak to me. It's probably why I love it so much. I have lots of stories of this but the one this week made my heart soar and I have to share.

It was a typical weekday afternoon and I was driving the mom taxi. A suburban half full of squirmy kids; on my way to fill up the rest of the seats.

I had Micah, Abby and Kate and they all insisted on sitting together on the back row. They were having conversation that you would expect from 3 kids of their age and development. Intense debates about things like who loves Daddy more.

The conversation ended as they watched the Tennessee hills whiz past the Suburban windows.

And with full confidence, Kate slowly proclaims, "Je-jus loves... all of us."

That alone would have been enough to warm my heart but I'm telling you... with timing that only the Lord could orchestrate (and one of those moments that seems to pass in slow motion) we passed under a huge tree, hanging over the road: a breathtaking shade of fiery, pineapple-y yellow. And it almost glowed as the sunlight shone through it. Not a single leaf on this tree was brown, nor still green. It. was. Gorgeous. It was God speaking. He was shouting a confirmation of what came from my 3 year old's lips.

The heavens declare the glory of God and the firmament shows His handiwork. Psalm 19:1

"He sure does Kate. Jesus loves us."

I can't tell you how many times I've seen this color since that day. In friends' clothing, in mums at the grocery store, even in my own fall decorating. People would say it's one of those things... like once you buy a car you see it everywhere... but I know in my heart that every time I see this crazy gorgeous fall yellow: its the Lord telling me that I'm loved. He's winking. "Don't forget. I love you."

I wanted to take a picture to remember it forever but I was... ya know, driving. Kids. And honestly, it was too sacred to capture anyway. It was my love note. My wink. This picture was the closest thing I could find to share a little piece of the glory with you, but even it doesn't fully capture...

Photo Credit

How does the Lord wink at you? I've heard some people say He winks through things like butterflies or pennies.... but my God winks are colors. Sometimes it means different things- confirmation of decisions, peace when I need it, or just sweet nothings. Its our language, me and the Lord.

Can I just encourage you for a minute? 

God loves His kids. It's confirmed in scripture again and again. If it were only you left in the world, He still would have sent His Son to die so that you could be with Him in Heaven. And can you imagine if you were trying to tell the person that you loved, how much you love them but they weren't paying attention? 

Seek out the Lord this week. Ask Him to open your eyes to they ways He might want to speak to you. I would venture to say that daily, you'll find that He's softly... and sweetly... whispering His love for you.

Will You not bring us back to life once more
so that we, Your people, will find joy and pleasure in You?
O Eternal One, show us Your unfailing love;
give us what we truly need: Your salvation.
I will hear what the True God--the Eternal--will say,
for He will speak peace over His people,
peace over those who faithfully follow Him...
Psalm 58:6-8a (The Voice translation)

Rainy Day

It's fall break. And it's raining. All. Weekend. 

Jake is out of town and today my friend (who's husband is also out of town) brought the kids over and we spent the afternoon trying to occupy the kids with crafts. 

Which only worked for so long before they were all in the backyard playing in the drizzling rain.

9 kids, 2 moms, no dads. Unconsciously holding a rotation of children in our laps while sorting out the mysteries of parenting and marriage. 

You know you're talking with another mom when you can wipe faces, help someone off the potty, clean the kitchen, use a serious of snapping and hand motions to slow down and/or silence a loud/running mob, and never miss a beat in conversation. It's a maternal super power.

Today really felt like fall and I was reminded that Thanksgiving is soon. And in my heart I gave thanks. For big things and little ones.

Friendship. Family. Rainy days. Take-out pizza. Profound truths uncovered and sifted through together. Stampedes of rain boots. The sound of laughter and tag. Injuries, tears and prayers for boo-boos. Toilet paper tube owls. Shreds of construction paper that will be found around the house for days. 

Isn't it amazing how, through the lense of gratitude, a day that was supposed to be "wasting time" ends up feeling more like a precious gift. And I'm grateful for that too.

A {{special needs}} mom

I shared this photo the other day on FB. As names of friends who "liked" this pic popped up... friends who have their own special kids... tears filled my eyes, thinking about each one of them and the strength they have. Some are close friends and some I know only through online groups. But we all know. We all get it. The things we go through that only other special needs moms and dads know about.

Good ol Rosie the Riveter

45 lb. 7 year olds throwing tantrums on the floor and needing to be carried to bed. Putting on your 9 year old's socks and shoes because he never gets the socks straight or the shoes on the right feet. Shedding silent tears because your 2nd grade daughter is telling you something about her school day and though you've asked her to repeat it several times, you still don't understand what she's saying and you're both frustrated. The knot in your stomach when a special education teacher emails to say they want to make an "IEP addendum".

But there's another thing we parents have in common. The indescribable high of the child you fight so hard for... accomplishing something new. Being a little more independent. Sure, other kids their age did it long ago. Your younger children did it long ago. But when you've sat for hours on the floor of a therapy room with a baby in leg braces, anything she accomplishes in life makes you want to jump up and cheer and then stop to ugly cry.

Micah and Abby ride the special ed. bus. Every morning at 8:05 we go out to our porch. They settle in to wait on the top step, adjusting the weight of their backpacks behind them. And I look up, 2 houses down and watch the group of kids and parents waiting at the bus stop together. Their bus comes first and I watch it load up and pull away as a few moms linger and talk.

Then our bus comes. It pulls into our culdesac, backing up a time or two to make it around the circle, stopping right at the driveway. Micah runs straight to the bus door while Abby and I walk the long way around on our sidewalk because she has an aversion to getting her shoes wet in the dewy grass. The size, noise and vibration of the bus are overwhelming to their senses, so it makes Micah extra hyper and it makes Abby extra scared. Because of her fear and low muscle tone, I help/push Abby up the steps onto the bus and tell Micah to settle down in his seat. The full size bus is nearly empty, its just the driver, an aid (sweet Mrs Joyce) and two other kids besides mine.

"I love you, have a good day!!"  I stand in the yard and wave at the two pieces of my heart on that bus. 

And then its gone.

And I hope that their aids will give me good updates in their communication log so I can know how their day goes.

But this year, I've made a goal of getting them to walk to the bus without me. Every day this school year, I've been trying to slowly stand back and encourage Micah and Abby to get on the bus themselves. First I only took them to the mail box. Then a few weeks (with a few days of exception, when Abby wouldn't have it) of just taking them as far as the yard.

Today I stayed on the porch...
they walked together...
got on the bus...
and it pulled away without any assistance from me.

Accomplishments for Micah and Abby mean a world of unspoken joy, pride and tears for Mom. And I go back in my house feeling like I am, in fact, Rosie the riveter.

The Homekeeping Notebook: What's in it!

I sort of debated sharing what's in my notebook, in my last post. I thought it would be fun to look back at someday but decided that wasn't really the point of the post. But apparently some of you really wanted to know.

So here it is. But I'm sharing on the condition that you realize this: what works for one family might not work for another. 

AND. I said it in the last post, I'll say it again. What makes all this happen is not the binder, it's the mom. I will humble myself enough to tell you that when I was a young(er) mom ;) I would make beautiful lists and charts and not understand why my life didn't fall into beautifully organized bliss. It was because I needed to get up off my rear, quit looking at my beautiful lists and charts, and get some real work done.

Say it with me: a homekeeping notebook is an extension of your brain, not an extension of your hands. It does not actually do the work for you. Creative-type people (like myself) that enjoy making these books would rather make them then go do what's in them. It's a Pinterest generation fail.

Some of these pictures have an envelope covering the page because I don't really want the whole world to know all of my business. ;)

Lastly: Children must not ever be allowed to touch the notebook. It's mommy's master plan and without it, she will not survive. The end.

Ok I'm going to try to keep this as simple as possible. My Notebook:

Minus Kate's finger this time. I took these while she was napping. But they're all super lame pics. Sorry about that.

First:

My Supplies

This is a must so I can always find a pen when I need it. And it's also my hidden place for things that disappear like scissors and good erasers. And it's a great place to hide the matches.

Pencils

The good pen in the house

Scissors

Highlighter

Sharpie

Erasers
Stick-it notes (I'm obsessed and use them for everything)

Matches

Washi tape (I use it to tape paper invitations inside my cabinets)

My Calendar

This is NOT for appointments. It's my homekeeping calendar. 

I have two calendars. This one and my Google calendar on my iPad. 

The Google calendar is all my appointments, recurring (like weekly Bible studies) or not (like doctor appointments). Jake also has a Google calendar and we each have access to the others calendar, so we can see them overlap and know at a glance what's coming up and if either of us have plans on any given day.

The paper calendar I use for my personal, homekeeping notes like, which days a school lunch is ordered and for which kid, days special bills are due by, deadlines to send out birthday party invites, library book due dates, etc. Stuff I need to see and be reminded of but that doesn't affect what appointments are on the calendar. Does that make sense?

School Pocket-Folders

I have one of these for each of my kids' schools. It holds school schedules, important papers from teachers, a class newsletter (only until the next one comes out), etc. I also keep a stick-it note with the "official" arrival and dismissal times, PE days (because tennis shoes must be worn), and the morning bus drivers' phone numbers.

Scripture

The first two tabbed pages are just for inspiration. One is scripture. And I'll probably change it out occasionally. These are verses that have always inspired me as a wife, mom, and homekeeper. And I'm working to memorize them. I want these to be the first thing I see in my notebook when I flip to my tabs.

Job Description

I covered this one up because I think it's so personal to every woman. It's very specific.

It's listed in categories:

Wife

Mother

Home Manager

Ministry

Myself

What are the bare bones things your husband needs/wants from you? We are going through the Dynamic Marriage course with our small group so I have a literal list of my husbands needs, and I've written it out here. (Another reason it's covered) :) I look at it as often as I can to be reminded how I can best serve him.

What are your primary goals as a mom? That could be as generic or personal as you want it to be. But whatever you want to look back 20 years from now and say... Write that down. Its easy for me to slip into survival mode. But I want to parent on purpose.

If keeping the house clean, organized, and functional was an actual paid 9-5 job, what would the job description be? Just because we live in our workplace doesn't give us a pass to live in a sloppy house. How would you want it to look when you got home from a long day? Make it that way for your family! And write out those goals here.

What does your ministry require of you, physically? Write it down. And do those things. Be the best 4th grade sunday school small group leader you can be!!

I highly recommend every woman read "Taking care of the 'me' in mommy". If you don't take care of yourself, you can't take care of your family. Now, I'm the queen of dry shampoo and letting myself wait too long to be recharged. So I'm not saying make yourself priority one either, it's still the bottom of my list. I'm just saying - there's a balance. Take care of yourself.

Cleaning (Daily)

Every morning, no matter what day, I try to do this cleaning routine. Try. :)

Dishes/Unload the dishwasher

2 loads of laundry: washed, dried, put away

Clean the counters and tables

Sweep

Tidy the whole house (everything in its place)

Make all the beds

Vacuum the living room

Some of these used to night routines, but I'd rather spend time with Jake than obsess over the last 3 dishes in the sink or the mystery crumbs under the table.

Cleaning (Weekly)

I'm not sure how clear these pics are so I'm writing it again.

Dust

Vacuum all carpet/rugs/stairs

Mop

Bathrooms 

Microwave and fridge (ours get nasty fast)

Windows/mirrors/TVs

Clean out the suburban

Change any dead light bulbs

I'm gonna talk about this weekly cleaning more in a minute.

Cleaning (Monthly)

Vacuum the couches

Clean the fans

Clean the walls

Ceilings and cobwebs

Vacuum the suburban

More on this in a minute.

Order of Days

Kim Brenneman in Large Family Logistics taught me to order my days. I've shifted my days just a little to fit my life better, but I do love doing things this way.

Monday: Cleaning Day. This is when I do my weekly cleaning list. And on the 1st Monday of the month I do the monthly cleaning list instead.

Tuesday: Project Day. Most of my projects consist of cleaning out closets or decluttering somewhere. Maybe someday I can actually stay organized.

Wednesday: Town Day. I schedule my lunch appointments, Bible studies and errands all for Wednesdays.

Thursday: Kitchen Day. Buying groceries and then prepping them for the week. Cutting up veggies, dividing the chips and pretzels into baggies for lunches, pre-making casseroles and soups for dinner, or making any homemade sauces, broths, etc. This doesn't always happen, but when it does, we save a lot of money. Things like single serve applesauce are way more expensive than just pouring it into little tupperwares for the week. And when dinners are planned and ready, we're less likely to drive thru, which is a fortune for us!

Friday: Office Day. Bills, budgeting, filing paperwork, catching up on emails, yada yada yada.

Projects

My list of projects to be done. Basically a to do list for Tuesdays.

To Do

Random to do's and reminders. I just chip away at this when I can.

Meal Ideas

4 Lists: Breakfast, Lunch, Snacktime, Dinner. Because sometimes I get in a rut and need ideas. I forget that one time I made Chicken Cordon Bleu and it was super easy and yummy. This is my reminder.

Meal Plan

Just for dinner. Made before I buy weekly groceries. We may switch the night of the meal, but I least I know I've got something in the house for each night. I print tons of blank sheets and fill up the sleeve. I could write it on regular paper but this is prettier and makes me feel organized. ;)

Grocery Staples and List

I printed up the staples that we need in our house at all times. And then after this section is notebook paper so I can write down my grocery list. This way I can quickly look through our family staples and not forget to write down something that we like to have on hand.

Yearly Goals

This section is under construction. I got the list from a pinterest post and I printed it with the intention of revamping it. But I might ditch it altogether. I'm still deciding. :)

Notes

I'm a visual person and sometimes I need to write out my thoughts to make decisions. Or jot something down quickly and file it in the right place later (calendar, to do list, projects). This section is just my scratch paper.

Decor

Just a sleeve that holds magazine clips, paint swatches, etc. that I don't want to lose. I love decorating our house but cleaning it is usually the bigger priority. So when I finally get to redoing a space, I want to have my ideas together.

My Clipboard

This is my paperwork "to do" list. Any cards I need to mail, school papers that need to be filled out, documents I need to read before they're filed, etc. I like to sit in my recliner with a cup of coffee and quietly work my way through the pile at naptime.

~~~


Mine is a 1 1/2 inch binder but use whatever works for you. I find that any bigger than that is a pain to lug around. Most of these pages are printed and in clear sleeves. I used a little bit of washi tape folded over the side to make tabs. The To Do, Grocery, and Notes sections are the only ones that have notebook paper as well. Any changes that need to be made to the printed pages, I write on stick-it notes and update/print on Office Day. :)

So this is what my weekdays days look like in terms of using this notebook: First thing every morning, I look over my notebook with coffee. Coffee is essential. Write that down. I make sure to look ahead a few days in my Calendar and make notes in my To Do list accordingly. Then I get the kids all out the door for school (which is a 2 hour process), do my Daily Cleaning list (usually under an hour), then my "Order of Days" tasks (breaking for lunch), and by naptime, I'm usually done and then I work on my To Do list or to do Clipboard. Then I run around getting kids picked up from school, do homework (checking my Calendar for school project deadlines), dinner (checking my Meal Plan for what's next), baths and bedtime. Now does it make sense why I can't function without my notebook??

So there you have it. If you just read this entire post, I'm very impressed. And you're either really nosy or you need some help in this area yourself. If its the latter, please feel free to ask me any questions! ;) I highly recommend making one for yourself if you don't have one already! And let me know how its working for ya. I hope this helps get you started!!

Not Just Being Busy: My Homekeeping Notebook

I'm always incredibly and genuinely shocked when my kids start school, go up a grade, have a birthday or say something increasingly intelligent for their maturity level. As if I thought they would be babies forever. "She's in 2nd grade!" "He looks so big!" "Did she just say that?" *gasp!* Like I didn't see it coming since the day they were born. But I am. I'm shocked. 5 kids in school this year. Whew.

I mean, are they cute or what?

And yes, Kate is home with me. I actually signed her up for Mothers Day Out but it was full and I was secretly happy.

*sigh* Summer is ending, school has started, and the busyness just changes to a different rhythm. And while I'm not usually as passionate about it as Jen Hatmaker, I'm welcoming this yearly change of season.

I've said this before, but my friends and I refer to back-to-school time as New Years. It really is. More than the actual New Years, its a fresh start. New school year, new teachers, new classmates (sometimes), new desk, new clothes... And for moms, a fresh start at our routine. New resolutions. 

And seriously. After all those weeks of summer, I feel like bionic woman with all but 1 kid in school.

So, it's a goal every year but I'm perfecting it: I want to make the most of my time and be ahead of the game. The Lord has blessed us with a huge house and a half a dozen beautiful and energetic tornado children. ;) Which means I've got a big job.

I'm going to keep this place clean and organized, finish projects, stay on top of the laundry and uniforms, pre-make meals for busy evenings, shop for deals on groceries, be on time every where I go and be the very best home-keeper that I can be. Because that's what I'm called to do.

People at church are always asking me, "How do you do it?" And they're probably just referring to how I got these 6 squirmy children into the building alone without a stroller. But IF they were referring to how I juggle the Spencer Clan, this is it.

This is my homekeeping notebook. It's my brain. And Kate's finger pushing it. Which wasn't really meant to be symbolic, but it sort of is actually.

I've had one of these for years, but I'm always tweaking it. My last one stunk so I'm very excited about this new one. I also tried to do a version of this on my iPad with Evernote. It was a fail.

If you are a mom with more than 2 kids, your house is clean, your husband is fed, your kids folders are signed, you get them to school on time and you juggle the madness in your head, I applaud you. I was not, however, born with a brain that has that much bandwidth.

Oh and this year, we have this.

Schedule and checklists posted on the fridge. I've tried this before too, but again, I'm perfecting it.

But listen. Just because the fonts all match and the washi tape is cute, doesn't make this whole binder/schedule system work. All the Pinterest boards and excel files on the planet don't make all this come together. A mom does.

It takes work. A lot of it actually. I don't care if you have 10 kids in 4 different schools, you homeschool, or have no school age kids but a baby and a toddler or 3: Being a wife, mom, and home keeper is hard work. If I'm not sweating at some point in my day, something's probably falling apart somewhere. It's just the truth. Moms. Are. Busy.

But. Why do I need a homekeeping notebook, charts and schedules? Why not just wing it? I'll tell you.

To stay on top of my game

To be a good steward of my time and energy (of which there is little)

To better serve my husband

To better serve my children

Because I think homekeeping is a lost art

Because God's word says that a wise woman builds her house (Prov. 14:1)

Because I want the heart of my husband to safely trust me (Prov. 31:11)

Because the more efficiently and effectively I take care of my family and home, the more ministry I'm able to be involved in (Because I also believe I'm called to my family first)

Because the years pass quickly

Because all of our busy rushing ends in nothing (Ps. 39:6)

And because I want to live on purpose and be a woman of excellence, not settle for just being busy.

Do you have a homekeeping notebook? How do you find it helps you?

**update: for those who were curious what's IN the notebook, see this post: What's in it!**