Extravagant Prayers

I started praying for my husband when I was 12.

Encouraged by my youth leaders, some Godly friends and let's be honest- Rebecca St. James' self titled album, I was committed to live for The Lord. And to pray for my future husband.

So I made a list of all the qualities my 12 year old mind thought I would want in a husband and I started praying. 

He has to love God first and foremost.

He has to be respectful to his mom.

He has to be honest.

He HAS to make me laugh.

And the list went on. It was quite long actually. Character traits that looked like they added up to just the right man for me. Someday. :) Then at the bottom I added a personal request. Green Eyes. Somehow that one felt like it was too much to ask. It felt like an extravagant prayer. Can I really ask God for that? And isn't it already decided by now?

I prayed weekly, if not nightly, for years. That God would protect him and keep him for me.  I prayed that God would instill these qualities in my future husband and that when I met him, I'd recognize them and know it was him. And I knew it was silly... but ever so often I'd add, "and Lord if You see fit, could he have green eyes?" 

Enter scene: Jake Spencer.

I don't have to tell you that he met every quality on my list. But somehow the thing that blew my mind the most were his green eyes. God answered my prayers. Even the extravagant one.

And it's a reminder to me that my Father loves me. He wants to give me good gifts. He wants to show me how much He loves me.

And that sweet little answered prayer passed down to the next generation. 

Her eyes are a wink from God. He loves me.

God has answered a few extravagant prayers in my life. Beneath-my-breath ones and life-altering ones.

My mom was healed from cancer. That was a pretty extravagant prayer.

This guy came home to us, safe and sound. A gut wrenching plea.

And I still have a couple tucked in my heart. Extravagant prayers. Things deep in my heart. They may seem too big to pray. To far fetched or even too wonderful. And maybe they won't be answered this side of heaven. Or maybe they will.

You know, the Bible is full of extravagant prayers. Prayed by not so extravagant pray-ers.

Because The Lord of creation, the Saviour of our hearts... Has an extravagant love for His children.

~~~

Something happened today while I was writing this post and I don't believe it was a coincidence.

The kids were running through the house and playing. Inside doors and outside doors slamming shut as kids whirl past me singing and laughing and yelling "you're it!" But I stopped when I heard my 4 year old in the hall bathroom, screaming/grunting and pounding her feet on the floor. I opened the door to a full on tantrum. My voice has been gone for the last 3 days from allergies, so I wasn't able to give my admittedly wrong reaction of "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! You're too big to be throwing a tantrum like this!!!" Instead I had to whisper, "what's wrong?" She was so flustered and red faced that she couldn't even get words out to reply. She just pointed at a little tiara on the floor and back at her own head. She'd been trying to get it just right in her hair and it wouldn't stay on. I picked it up, tucked it in her hair, and whispered "there. Next time just ask."

What's the prayer hidden in your heart? What holds you back from praying it? Are you afraid? Are you bitter? Are you scream/grunting and pounding your feet on the floor because you can't do it yourself? The maker of your heart knows what you hold there and He longs for you to talk to Him about it. And He wants to answer your simple prayers and dare I say it... your extravagant ones, if you'll just ask Him and hand it over.

Every good and perfect gift is from above and comes down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow of turning. James 1:17





*Photo credits for the first two pictures, Brandon Chesbro

Common-for-me weirdness

Weirdness is sort of normal in my life. Or maybe its not weird at all. I mean, who makes the scale really?

Some of it just comes along with parenthood. Some of it comes along with parenting children with special needs. Highlights this week:

Monday I found Kate crying and "stuck" in the window (standing on the window sill with her body pressed against the glass and she couldn't move or she would fall)... In just her underwear. Which has to look really strange and inappropriate from outside.

Monday night I cut new bangs for Emily and inadvertently created my own mini lookalike. I'm afraid people will think I did it on purpose. I truly didn't realize she looks so much like me or I wouldn't have cut her bangs exactly like mine.

Tuesday I discussed in full detail, my sons bowel movements to his special education teacher. Including the distinct scent and color. She may have said the words "we thought someone had a strong marker in the room" to me.

Then Wednesday happened and it got me thinking.

Wednesday was just another typical, common-for-me weird day. I got four kids ready for school. Two who do 90% of the work themselves and two who do 10% of the work themselves. I helped Ashley fix her hair, signed Emily's folders and kissed my big girls as I sent them out the door with Daddy.

Then I got Micah and Abby up. I got their lunches packed, made their breakfast, helped them get dressed, brushed their teeth, helped Abby with her shoes, wiped both of their faces, brushed Abby's hair, signed their folders, wrote reply notes to their aids, told Micah for millionth time not to bend forward and flip his heavy backpack up over his head because it could break his iPad, made them both go potty one last time... and then kissed my "middle two" and coaxed them onto the bus. The way I do every. single. morning.

Then I got the two little girls fed and dressed and we headed to ballet. (We've officially hit the place where Mabry is surpassing Micah and Abby in development, so much of the things I do for them, I don't need to do for Mabry. Or even Kate sometimes.)

Kate's Kindermusik class was canceled so I chased her around Mabry's ballet class, thankful that my best friend is the teacher and didn't care about a disruptive 2 year old. (And that the other parents didn't seem too annoyed.)

We had lunch with D'Arcy, with only one "MOM I'M GONNA PEE!!" and emergency potty trip. After that I let the girls run around the mall playland, and left slightly embarrassed that Kate had started stripping when I was involved in conversation. (But just slightly embarrassed. I've gotten pretty used to those moments.)

Then I left the girls with D'Arc and headed to Nashville. I had an appointment at the Vanderbilt Kennedy Center. They wanted to interview me about our church special need ministry and what it means to our family.

So for about 45 minutes I sat in a small, nearly empty, uncomfortably warm room with two women I'd never met asking me questions that they were professionally (and a little mechanically) reading from printed papers. Besides those papers, the only other thing on the board room table was two recorders with the microphones facing me.

At first I was a little nervous. And painfully aware of the clock because if I didn't leave on time, I'd be late to pick up my little girls and then late to meet the bus and the carpool.

But as I answered their questions, the weird situation melted away and several things ran through my head.

"I can't believe we've been a part of Grace Chapel for so long." Part of the interview included what first drew us to this church. I was 18, I don't fully remember. Except that God led me there. I was young, in love with my fiance, and on fire for the Lord.

"I can't believe I'm sitting here as the mom who has kids with special needs." I would never have guessed that would be me. The world of special needs would not only come to define a part of who I am, but I'm passionate about it. Never would have imagined.

"My kids-- all of them-- are loved." Our church special needs ministry makes it possible for parents like me to be a part of service. I drop my kids off and don't give it a lot more thought until service is over. Some parents who have kids with special needs aren't even able to go to church because they don't feel like they can.

"I am so blessed. Thank you Lord, for community, church family, and friends." I am so humbled. And so blessed.

If I could say one thing to the special needs parents out there... the ones who never would have imaged that they'd be special needs parents... the ones who don't think they're able to go to church anymore... the ones who have to do 90% of the work to get their kids ready... who worry about health concerns, behavior issues, stares from others, ignorant questions and who will love their kids if they drop them off in children's church....

Don't give up the search. There are churches out there where you can go. Its worth the hunt.

I know its a very real struggle. That's why the Kennedy Center is doing this research. To help churches help you. Keep trying. You might even meet other families who walk through your same common-for-you weirdness. Then we can all be common-for-us weird. Together. :)

Updates all around

I feel like I'm a little behind on keeping up with general Spencer kid updates. I should be writing a grocery list because I need to go shopping in a little bit but... I'm gonna write about my kids instead. ;)

The 2013-2014 school year is coming to a close. And I'm fully aware that next school year is going to be a different one. Five of my six babies are going to be in school. Mabry starts Pre-K at our church school in the fall and though its 3 full days, it'll be strange for this momma.

All 4 school kids are finishing their years well. Good grades, good behavior. I've seen a lot of growth in each one this year.

Ashley is taking great initiative in doing her own projects and homework. She loves to read, so no prompting from me is needed. We had a little bit of drama at school but that seems to have toned way back the last half of the school year.

Ashley with her buddy Mary Bradley

At home, she teeters between being really annoyed when asked to pitch in, and jumping in to help without even being asked. But overall, she really is a huge help to me. She does her own laundry, puts the little kids to bed sometimes (including changing them into jammies, taking them potty, and singing lullabies), and she's even teaching some of the little ones to unload the dishwasher.

She recently loves sewing. My sewing knowledge is limited and self taught, so it didn't take long for her to know all that I know. But she loves experimenting and making little purses and things.

I kind of can't believe how tall and lanky she's gotten. With all that wild, blond, curly hair. I feel like I'm watching a young lady blossom right in front of me. Its beautiful and frightening. ;)

Miss Em. Oh, Miss Em. I love that kid.

Ash and Em

She is bold and outgoing and hilarious and generous and kind.

School is going well. Being one of the youngest in her class, its always a bit of a struggle to keep up but she's doing a great job and taking a lot of initiative. I'm surprised by how organized she is sometimes, given her free spirit. Her side of the room is rarely messy. (A stark contrast to her sister's side.) And she knows if she keeps it up, it will never become a big project. I love that.

Recently, Mabry is becoming one of her closest siblings. She knows Mabry looks up to her and she eats it up. Emily loves to dress her up and Mabry loves the attention. When I pair up the bigs and littles, those two always claim one another first.

She's helpful around the house too. She prefers to get all of her homework and chores done first so she can be free to play. No procrastination in that girl. Her job is keeping the floor swept and the play rooms clean. And she does her own laundry too. Only she's great about folding it all and putting it away instead of letting it sit in a clean heap for days. Which even  I am guilty of. ;)

Then there's Micah.

This was VERY early in the morning. How is someone this happy without coffee??

I'm seriously floored by Micah. Continually. He's become very expressive and even a little more verbal. He's got way more self control than he used to and while he still likes to wander and explore some, for the most part, he stays with us. I can see him maturing enough to know, "I stay with my family."

He pitches in with the chores too. Sometimes he'll clean the entire, crazy messy playroom without even being asked. And then sweep it too! He can follow two-step instructions pretty well. So if I say, "Go upstairs and grab an extra blanket," or "put your dishes in the sink and your napkin in the trash," he's on it.

His sense of humor is hilarious and his giggle is contagious. Shoot, even his grin is contagious.

He's doing well in school. I love his aide and she gives me detailed pages of how his day went. He keeps them on their toes but he's a smart cookie who works hard at learning. And is well loved. :)

So that this isn't an incredibly long post, I'll update on my 3 baby girls in another post. For now, I better start on that grocery list...

Joy

Tuesday, March 18, 9:06am.

According to the "schedule" its craft time. But we're a little lax on the schedule this morning. Much to Micah's dismay. He keeps pointing to it and grunting his "words" to let me know. We're off today. I know buddy, its gonna be okay.

Today is day 4 of 8. It's spring-break/daddy's-on-a-missions-trip/mommy's-trying-to-get-lots-of-projects-done-to-keep-busy-and-so-daddy-doesn't-see-the-mid-project-mess week. Yeah that.

Project a la week is: Moving around bedrooms.

Because Abby has sleep issues, she just canNOT share with Mabry and Kate anymore. She keeps them up in the middle of the night and then Kate is tired and miserable

So.

I moved our "cubbies" (the kids locker/thing) into the playroom.

I moved my bills and office stuff to my bedroom.

I painted the office.

I moved Ashley and Emily into the office.

I moved Abby into their old room.

Voila.

I'm basically done. Just need to clean up the aftermath of post room-switch items that don't have a home. And we need to save up some funds for a bunkbed for Ashley and Emily. For now they're just on mattresses on the floor. We're not too proud for that. :)

~~~

Yesterday I was reminiscing of last year's missions trip and reading that blog post. (To read that post, see My life as a youth pastors wife.) So funny, it feels like I could have written it this week. Same thoughts, same feelings. This week ain't my first rodeo. I'm a professional bull rider actually. Or am I the rodeo clown?... Hm. I just know I've got lots of little mutton busters over here. (If you don't know what all that means, you must not live in the south. Search it on YouTube.)

Last night the kids were climbing the walls.... If you know Micah, you know I mean this literally... So I did what I often do to help them burn some energy. I pull the mini trampoline into the kitchen, blare some upbeat music and set the timer, making each one jump for the same minutes as their age. They love it. All six of them. They all cheer on whoever is jumping, with clapping and singing. Its a great way to keep them busy so I can cook dinner.

So as the kids jumped and laughed and the sound of "I'm on top of the world" by Imagine Dragons was deafening in my kitchen, and I gave thanks. That mental snapshot of smiles is a priceless memory.

Later last night I got to FaceTime my hunky pastor/missionary man. Which always makes things better. And then I watched a video my friend had recommended. A beautiful reminder. The perfect timing. A call to joy. The art of celebration. (Strongly encourage you to watch that link. I {heart} Rend Collective.)

And because the Lord is so good at giving me "winks", the very next thing I came across was a new post on the ol' Ann Voscamp blog sharing this profound truth: "Perspective can always adopt gratitude, and gratitude always parents joy."

Ok, Lord, I get it. My life, my house, my kids. Are crazy. But as long as I keep perspective, it leads to gratitude. Which births Joy.

I love my kids. Like, heart bursting love. I love my crazy life. I wouldn't trade it for any other way of living.

My house is a wreck, right now I'm now behind schedule (which Micah has reminded me of again since I sat down to blog), and I'm contemplating a 3rd cup of coffee. I miss my sane better half and its not the same without him here. But. I'm enjoying today. I'm grateful for today.

And I have joy unspeakable and full of glory. :)

"I am on top of the world, ay. I'm on top of the world, ay......"

Cupcakes

Abby loves cupcakes.

I mean... I like cupcakes. My other kids like cupcakes. But Abby. Loves. Cupcakes.

It's just her thing. But not only eating them, she loves cupcake stuff. She has a cupcake pillow, a cupcake necklace, a cupcake jewelry box, a cupcake calendar (from last year), and cupcake Legos.

One of the main slogans for the Down Syndrome community is "More Alike than Different". (Click here to watch a really sweet YouTube on that.) People who have Down Syndrome are more like you than they are different from you.

Case in point today - Miss Abby Grace. ;)

My sweet Abby is just like any other 7 year old girl. She is girly, she loves to wear pink, she likes to play with her friends, she gets upset when she's left out, she has a great sense of humor, she gets sarcasm and she has a contagious giggle. She plays and fights with her siblings, she likes to help Mom with the dishes until she realizes it's boring and she thinks her Daddy hung the moon. She's dramatic, gets her feelings hurt sometimes a lot, and gets discouraged when she can't do something right. And she loves cupcakes.

One of the few things that makes her different is that she has to work to say cupcake.

I took this video during one of the many little speech sessions we do with her here at the house. She has formal speech therapy at school, but for us- pushing Abby is a way of life. We don't let things slide. (Or we try not to anyway.) One of the reasons that Abby is more alike than different is because she's worked for it. She earned it. And in some ways, that gives her more character than kids who don't earn it. 

Abby has a hard time saying cupcake. She can say the "ck" sound. She can say "cup" and "cake". But when she tries to say cupcake it comes out "hupcake". She knows it. And she tries to say it right. And we try to help. I'd like you to really watch her in this video....

What do you see in this video? Do you see someone who is different or scary or weird? Or do you see a little girl who is sweet and funny and even gets frustrated that she can't nail it?

Maybe it's just because I'm her mom. But I see a girl who us more alike than different. Even if she does say "hupcake". Which I secretly think is super cute and requires more tickling.

"Little Women" or better yet... "Of hamsters and girls"

My 4 oldest girls are eerily similar to the 4 March girls: Meg, Jo, Beth and Amy, of Little Women. Ashley is the maternal eldest. Emily the fearless, tom-boy comedian. Abby, who's heart is loving and sincere but her body isn't always able to keep up with the others. And Mabry knows no other way than frills, lace and proper words. I'm pretty sure Mabry thinks she's living in the Era of Amy March. They are my own Little Women.

This is why, when Kate was born we said she would be a wild card. And what a wild card she is. ;)

But this post is mostly about my little Meg...


Ashley is maternal. Always has been. At her first birthday party, she'd open a doll, and as soon as we could break it out of the box, she's be hugging it, rocking it, and kissing its face. Not all my girls were that way. But Ashley... is maternal.

The kids have asked me for years for a pet. But because I don't need another thing in this house that eats and poops, I've said no.

But Ashley begs.

I suggested things that seemed low maintenance like turtles or fish. Something that isn't going to stink if it's butt isn't clean. But Ashley wants something she can "snuggle".

*deep sigh*

So she landed on the idea of a hamster. And she started this campaign a few months ago to raise money for one. I told her if she wanted one, it would be her sole responsibility, funding and all. So she raised some money and then ended up with a FurReal Friend instead. (Her idea not mine.)

But then she got the itch again.

So for Christmas, hamster was at the top of the list. Her Grandma and Grandpa Turner took her pick one out. Ruby Jo Spencer.

Never was a more loved hamster. She gets royal rodent treatment. She now has a cage with tubes and wheels, and all the bells and whistles. And while I don't like to admit it aloud, I sorta like the little thing.

(My phone wasn't really recording sound when I took this.)

Ruby seems to really know Ashley and goes right to her. Every day when Ashley gets home from school, Ashley goes up to her room, scoops up a sleepy Ruby from her cage (because she's nocturnal and sleeps all day while Ashley's at school). Then Ruby snuggles in the folds of their blanket on the couch while Ashley has her after school snack and watches the Cosby Show (her current favorite). Ruby comes out to play most in the evening after the four little ones are in bed. She runs laps around the living room and over Ashley's crossed legs like a huge hamster jungle gym. Occasionally being scooped up and squished up to Ashley's cheek and then given a big kiss before being set down. Ashley can't go 90 seconds before the urge hits her again, and Ruby gets swept up once more for another face-squishing kiss.

And it wasn't long before Ashley realized she's got enough love in her heart for more hamsters. She wanted... several. But I told her just one more. For now anyway.

Doing some hamster research at the library:

So once again she sold some lotions and raised money. Enough for another "Syrian" hamster and more food. So I took Ashley, her friend Ellie, and Emily to the pet store. We probably looked at 15 different hamsters til she settled on her new baby. Mary Grace Spencer.

Mary Grace was a little more, uh, nervous, than Ruby was in the first couple of days. The salesman used the word "skiddish" so that's Ashley term too. Mary Grace is skiddish. Ruby pretty much went straight to Ashley and loved her ever since, but Mary Grace is... well, skiddish. So we researched how to help hamsters warm up to you. Ashley followed everything it said to do. Except Mary Grace would not only hide from Ashley every time the door opened, but she'd lay on her back and put all four paws (is paws the right word? feet?) out, turn her head and close her eyes. Like she was afraid Ashley would hurt her. And as Ashley would work her towards eating out of her hand, just as we thought she was warming up, she'd bite Ashley's finger and run and hide.

Ashley was heartbroken. She wanted to love that little thing but just wouldn't love her back. I didn't know what to say except to tell her to keep trying. "She's just little and scared, she'll warm up..." And in my mind I added, "I hope."

After 4 days of rejection (and I warned her that it could take a week or more before Mary Grace warmed up), Ashley decided she didn't want to keep trying with Mary Grace. But Emily stepped up and said that she'd like to try. I think she felt a little left out of all the hamster excitement anyway.

So Emily's been putting her hand in the cage, trying to get Mary Grace used to her. She's been bit more than once. And cried. But she's still not giving up.

Because we can't hold her, cleaning her cage is interesting. We have to lure her into an open ball (the clear ones that hamsters, mice and such run around in), then put the lid on before she realizes it, and take her out of the cage that way. But she scratches and bites at the ball the whole time, so we have to clean the cage fast.

We'll see how it goes with Emily and Mary Grace. Emily had been saying for a while that she wanted a hamster too, but kept telling us she would name it Nostrils or Booger Face. So I assumed that was for comedic value and that she didn't actually want one. And no mention has been made of changing Mary Grace's name yet... so I'm certainly not going to bring it up if Emily doesn't. ;)

I think this whole experience is good for the both of them. My little momma and my little comedian. Both have such sweet, big hearts. I'm praying they'll learn patience and selflessness through it all. Hopefully there will be much learned.

Last night Jake and I heard what sounded like crying down the hall. I went to investigate but it was Ashley and Emily... laying in bed in the dark laughing and talking. Hamster wheels spinning and squeaking on either side of the room. These girls can be best friends and worst enemies. At the heart of all the hamster escapades, I hope that if nothing else, it brings together my little Meg and Jo. My sweet Little Women.